Well said MsEmotional. I agree, it is the kind of veto power that Franklin Veaux described (and experienced) that I am wary of. Having a "messy person list" is different, there you know ahead of time not to get involved with someone in the first place.
Re:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAE8uQUU4Pw ... thanks for
posting that link edpsy77, that was a good presentation. I read some of the comments in the space below it, I liked the presentation itself better and thought it was more constructive. I agree it was a mistake to say that monogamy is easy, but it is also a mistake to say, poly people are just selfish, they don't want to commit, they're unhappy and running from one partner to another, they're all about quantity and not about quality, they're being defensive because they know they're in the wrong, etc.
If polys are defensive it's because so many mono people are speaking against them. But I don't think they are defensive, it's just that some mono people take any pro-poly statement to be defensive.
The same goes for poly people being supposedly unhappy, the mono people who said that
*want* the poly people to be unhappy, so, confirmation bias.
I know some poly people, they are quite generous, they are very loyal to all of their partners, they have quite-high-quality relationships. Statements to the contrary are made by monos who are ill-informed.
Take any demographic group and you will find some people in it who are messed up. That goes for both polys and monos. You don't have to be poly to be accepting of poly. It's called live and let live. Eventually the majority will become accepting of poly, just like they're coming around now on homosexuality.