dekyibliss
New member
Hi, friends. This is my first poly relationship and my first post to this forum.
My partner's girlfriend (he and I are primary, but she was there before me, so I think she has some understandable resentment) recently started a new relationship. My partner and I are fluid bonded, and he is also fluid bonded with her. His girlfriend is also now fluid bonded with her new partner.
At this point I'm questioning whether this feels safe enough for me even though his girlfriend's new partner was recently tested for STIs. My partner said he is willing to use condoms outside our relationship (including with her), and I agreed to the same. However, his girlfriend completely flipped out and refuses to use condoms; she is very hurt at this suggestion and feels I should trust her and her new partner. But it feels very naive to me--blindly trusting my partner's partner's partner!
Since I'm a newbie to poly relationships I'm hoping to learn about how people navigate this. My partner did not expect his girlfriend to refuse to use a condom as she (probably reluctantly) accepts that I am his primary. I really do understand why she might feel hurt by this. Therefore, should I be the one to use condoms? My partner feels very caught in the middle and would prefer to use condoms with her over me, but also doesn't want to lose his girlfriend. Or am I being too conservative? How far out the chain do people go with fluid bonding?
My partner's girlfriend (he and I are primary, but she was there before me, so I think she has some understandable resentment) recently started a new relationship. My partner and I are fluid bonded, and he is also fluid bonded with her. His girlfriend is also now fluid bonded with her new partner.
At this point I'm questioning whether this feels safe enough for me even though his girlfriend's new partner was recently tested for STIs. My partner said he is willing to use condoms outside our relationship (including with her), and I agreed to the same. However, his girlfriend completely flipped out and refuses to use condoms; she is very hurt at this suggestion and feels I should trust her and her new partner. But it feels very naive to me--blindly trusting my partner's partner's partner!
Since I'm a newbie to poly relationships I'm hoping to learn about how people navigate this. My partner did not expect his girlfriend to refuse to use a condom as she (probably reluctantly) accepts that I am his primary. I really do understand why she might feel hurt by this. Therefore, should I be the one to use condoms? My partner feels very caught in the middle and would prefer to use condoms with her over me, but also doesn't want to lose his girlfriend. Or am I being too conservative? How far out the chain do people go with fluid bonding?