Hello, open minded community! N.Indiana couple 34yo heteroflexible male 45yo hetero f

PolyCuriousTwo

New member
Hello all!

As my wife and I journey through a new phase in our chapter together, we thought it woud be nice to have an open minded community to discuss what we need and offer advice when we can.
My wife was walked into the life by a couple friend of ours. While a new experience for both of us, I find I was made for this new style of relationship. Not being particularly jealous and also naturally open regarding jealousy, emotions, and insecurities made the transition much easier.
My wife practiced a conservative lifestyle most of her adult life, until meeting me and opening up regarding travel, life choices, and societal norms in general. She always had a sepcific interest in poly relationships but would normally guise this interest with jokes, passing comments, and general comedy. However she was also extremely jealous at times, presenting a serious conflict with me regarding how to broach the subject.
Eventually we met a couple in an open relationship, who was seeking a poly quad.
They assisted, with little to no help from me, in showing my wife how thier relationship worked, stayed healthy, and was a positive for both of them.
We are newbies to poly, however I found this seems more natural than a standard diad for me. Regardless of my comfort with the situation, I understad as we progress I will need to continue to grow into our new relationship and that obstacles will arise.

I look forward to being a contributing member in this community but I imagine there are times I will need advice and guidance as well. I look forward to a group of friends here in the forum!

Thanks for reading (not sure if wifey will make her own account our just take mine over, lol)
 
Greetings PolyCuriousTwo,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are off to a good start with respect to poly. We can certainly answer any questions you may have, and you can probably answer some questions too. We're generally a friendly bunch, so dig right in! ;)

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
"The wife"

Well... "the wife" decided to make her own account.:)

As a newbie to all this I am looking forward to hearing any and all perceptions and advice you all have to offer. I didn't make this choice lightly nor with closed eyes. It has taken years of reflection and self improvement to be able to come to this wonderful new place in my life. Having good friends in an open relationship made the journey so much easier and less "scary". I had been trying to obtain as much information as I could find for years...and as I'm sure many of you know there is a lot of garbage floating around out there. So many articles as to why living poly won't work..or you must have low self esteem to allow a man into talking you into other partners. I have to say that while I knew my husband was always open to the idea of others I was not able to feel so free. I will also add that my husband never even suggested this for me and assured me that he was perfectly happy if it was only the 2 of us. This new journey was actually something that was proposed by me. Go figure , the good little Catholic raised girl who has not so much as had a speeding ticket wanted another partner or partners. I know my story can't be that original. I'm more at peace with myself and my relationship with my husband than I have been in years. I find joy in knowing others care for me and I am free to share myself with them. I know it's ok that I am able to have love and don't forget lust for others. None of it takes away from how I feel about me or my spouse, in fact it has enhanced it! The one issue I do see is that as professionals we are limited to how open we are able to live. Maybe that will change down the line. I sure hope so. But for now I will content myself with "being me" in my chosen circle. Thanks for listening and would love to hear any positive thoughts you all have.
 
Hi Polyflexable2,

It's great to have you with us, welcome aboard. Sounds like you have gone on a journey of self-discovery and ended up in a faraway land, so to speak. I think that's awesome.

You've encountered some of the garbage that's out there about polyamory ... Now explore some of the good stuff (if you haven't already).

  • "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino.
  • "More than Two: a practical guide to ethical polyamory," by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert.
The above are books and I recommend both of them. But they are also websites and I recommend the websites in addition to the books. If you're reading and have a question, just post here and we'll try to help.

I wish you and your husband well as you go on this poly journey together.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
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