nycindie
Active member
Oh, yes, that fear of hellfire! From my mid-teens through early 20s, I had nightmares about hell and the devil. It was also connected to guilt around my sexuality. Around the time I was 19 to 20, I had been offered two opportunities to make money as a callgirl, and I had dreams that Satan was luring me into his fiery lair and I willingly gave myself to him. I would wake up sweating and panting, wondering if dreaming about it meant I'd actually given myself to Satan. Whatever that means. I turned those opportunities down, but I felt like I was going to hell just for considering them!A few months later, he confirmed me. I spoke the doxology with my fingers crossed, with the fear of hellfire in my heart.
I can still remember the red hellfire from my nightmares. Is that a Lutheran thing?