Is male sex drive a myth???

The second link seems to prove my point anyway, to an extent (as it only addresses 30-somethings and not people in their 40s or older):

As far as men go, once a guy gets to be in his thirties, he’s simply not the machine he once was. His erections are less, shall we say, erect, they are fewer than they might once have been, and his repeat performances are not what they once were. But, as with a woman in her thirties, this doesn’t mean a man doesn’t enjoy sex all the same. He just might have a hard time keeping pace with his girlfriend of the same age, who, after years of practice, has finally figured out what all the fuss is about.

However, anecdotally, in the last few years of my marriage, my sex drive was so high (late 40s, early 50s) my ex and I were having sex daily. Just before we broke up, one day we had so much sex, he came 5 times in 24 hours, a new record for him in 30 years. Age 55! He was having such a banquet of sex, when our kids got older and my fertility decreased, bringing my testosterone forward and increasing my desire.

Also, this article talks of "sex hormones," without defining which ones she is talking about. I mentioned the role of testosterone in women's sex drive, not just her estrogen/progesterone firings. When there is talk of women sexually peaking around 35, that leaves out all the horny babes in peri-menopause and beyond. Once periods stop, you do away with pregnancy risk, and monthly varying desire, PMS, bloating, bleeding, and cramps. Makes a big difference in one's desire for sex, at least in my case. :eek:
 
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Mono refuses to read Sex at Dawn, which also goes into great detail about how people are not biologically monogamous. Men are good for a shot or 2, women have the potential to be mega-orgasmic, and in hunter gatherer societies, are open to having several partners pleasure her during one sex session. The first guy just warms her up.
 
my record was 9 in 24 hours when I was in my early 20's. I'm not so sure I can do that anymore. I'm always up for 2nds. if and when that happens, she's never up for 3rds. I still ask though.
 
my record was 9 in 24 hours when I was in my early 20's. I'm not so sure I can do that anymore. I'm always up for 2nds. if and when that happens, she's never up for 3rds. I still ask though.

How old are you?
 
Any partner I`ve been with, has been able to go more then 3 times in a night, (sometimes, much more.) and I`m pretty sure I`m not selecting them out of some mystery isle at the grocery store. :p

This is why I don`t read all these quacky books. I`m sure as general rules of thumb, these books are just ducky, but I feel I`d be missing out if I went into things preconceived, with 'what the book told me' expectations.

It would be a pity, if we had sex once, and I thought; ' Oh well, he`s probably done" and left it at that. :D
 
Lol so interesting to read all these "records" for guys. And it's really really sad to me for my own relationship be use my guy's record was WAY higher. (not to brag, but he more than doubled the highest record in here. And i verified it.) so why the sudden utter lack?

And for my clients, why the lack to begin with?
 
Hey Erosa,

I think it's important to stay connected to the fact that our personal views/experience is exactly that - personal. Unless we intentionally find ways to make the base a lot wider/more encompassing.

I suspect your experience is quite narrow and has a built in amount of 'cultural' bias. That make sense ?

I hope this doesn't come off sounding wrong, but you are obviously dealing with a SUBSET (and a cultural one) of the general population. In particular, a subset who grants 'psychic' phenomena enough credibility to pay money for further investigation. It's an interesting phenomenon you've noted and I don't question the possible validity of the observation within that particular subset. Actually find it intriguing.

But we have to be careful about thinking that a particular observation either confirms or refutes a "general rule" that applies for larger percentages of a population.

GS
 
I hate to be the one to spew the most obvious cliché, but there is far too much emphasis placed on the orgasm. "Able to come more than once, able to come at least this many times in such-and-such a time period..." Please people!

I tend to rapidly lose interest and tire easily after I orgasm. The faster I orgasm, the more quickly I lose "the zone". Sometimes this is a good thing, like if we have to go somewhere soon. Also, sometimes it's good if the guy ejaculates somewhat prior to the sex act, then he can focus on other things besides his impending orgasm.

Of course, these points have very little to do with whether or not someone wants sex in the first place.
 

With all due respect, those articles are not sources I would trust for "scientific research." I would refer to a peer-reviewed scientific or medical journal for scientific research, not two bloggers and Women's Health magazine which is a not-so-great fluff publication.

Sorry, I mistook articles based on the research of Dr. Lee P. Shulman, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, to be pretty scientific. I'm not the only one who doesn't read it seems :rolleyes:
 
I hate to be the one to spew the most obvious cliché, but there is far too much emphasis placed on the orgasm. "Able to come more than once, able to come at least this many times in such-and-such a time period..." Please people!

I tend to rapidly lose interest and tire easily after I orgasm. The faster I orgasm, the more quickly I lose "the zone". Sometimes this is a good thing, like if we have to go somewhere soon. Also, sometimes it's good if the guy ejaculates somewhat prior to the sex act, then he can focus on other things besides his impending orgasm.

Of course, these points have very little to do with whether or not someone wants sex in the first place.

This is an excellent point - there is definitely a difference between number of ejaculations and drive. I've been through periods of time where I've been less interested in sex, and I do need to feel "in the mood". If I'm covered in grease, working on my motorcycle, and frustrated by a problem I can't seem to solve, I'm not going to leap at the possibility, because I'll be stressed out. Once I solve that problem and wash my hands, then I'll feel all sexy and manly and want to boink.

...and as for personal records, mine was 13, I was 18 at the time. More recently, I've managed 8 or 9. I don't enjoy these marathon ejaculation sessions all that much though, I need breaks inbetween, and after the first four or so in a 12 hour period, it just isn't quite as functional, and doesn't feel quite as good. At some point I'm thinking "damn woman, you need a vibrator".

....and speaking of vibrators, an interesting anecdotal aside somewhat relevant to this story is that most men are excellent masturbators (whether we admit it or not). I've known some women who are good at it, but they seem to be far fewer than men. My wife, for example, has repeatedly expressed frustration at how difficult it is to bring a woman (specifically herself) to orgasm. This may be contributing to the lack of male sexual frustration the OP has mentioned. Another potential factor is, I have my doubts about highly satisfied women seeking the consultation of psychics, or really anyone.

Mono - I definitely recommend reading "Sex at Dawn" - while it gives an excellent overview of the evolution of human sexuality, and debunks many of the preconceptions regarding monogamy in humans, it never says you "have" to be poly, or anything like that. It merely suggests we make less of a big deal out of infidelity and our sexuality in general. In fact, it overviews the incredible adaptability of certain parts of male DNA and anatomy to deal with varying situations, and suggests we are adapting physically to our cultural choice of monogamy. I know you're Mono, but reading this book can only enhance your understanding of those you love, even if it brings you little insight into yourself (which I wouldn't entirely rule-out - we are very complex animals, after all).
 
Sorry, I mistook articles based on the research of Dr. Lee P. Shulman, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, to be pretty scientific. I'm not the only one who doesn't read it seems :rolleyes:

I read all three articles completely. Two are written by journalists who both used the same quote by Dr. Shulman, and the third did not reference Dr. Shulman at all, unless I'm missing a page somewhere. I would hardly call those articles "based on" his research. The quote they both used was "It has absolutely no correlation to the enjoyment, the activity, the frequency of sex." Very scientific, LOL. Furthermore one articles uses that quote to say that it is true women hit their sexual peak at 28, and the other article uses the same quote to say women's sex hormones are highest ages 31 to 36.

If I want to read about scientific research into women's sexual health I am not going to a magazine that airbrushes its cover models, nor to a blogger who uses one pull quote from a doctor. I will go to a peer-reviewed journal and read the articles actually written by the researchers, not journalists. But I am someone who gets off on research!!! I study how to research, do research for fun, and get paid to research. I have scientists in my family -- they know that one sentence in their findings can be used by a journalist to prop up almost any argument - it happens all the time. Fortunately, as a college student, I have access to a database containing hundreds of peer-reviewed scholarly and scientific journals. When I have time, I will look for some that address the topic of "sexual peak."

Sorry, I just have a bias against using popular media as confirmation of anything substantial or scientific. In fact, in just cursorily looking through one database, I found an article published from a journal called Sex Roles written by researchers who examined the impact women's magazines have on shaping young adults' impressions of sex and sexuality (very interesting study, the article was 17 pages long). Their conclusion:

"So what might be the outcome of the representations
these magazines contain? Although not targeted at them, it
is our contention that heterosexual men, as a group and
individually, potentially gain from the ways women’s
magazines represent male and female sexuality, as women
are encouraged to partake in sexual activities that men
(supposedly) desire. However, men’s sexual subjectivity
was also positioned precariously through these dominant
constructions, and women’s sexuality was implicitly framed
as dependent on men’s sexuality and sexual competence.
Furthermore, women were not constructed as ‘inherently’
sexual in the way that men were. Rather, female sexuality
was (implicitly) constructed as ‘catching up’ to (an ever
present and pre-existent) male sexuality, which ostensibly
constitutes ‘real’ sexuality. This construction reinforces the
notion that sex and sexuality remain, to some extent, largely
men’s domains (Jackson, 1984). In various ways, then, the
magazines ultimately worked to reinforce traditional gendered
roles: men as sexual; women as relational.

Through destabilising the unquestioned status of the
heterosexist imperative, the prioritisation of a traditional
‘masculine’ model of sexuality, and representations of
‘natural’ gender(ed) differences within media representation,
we hope to encourage others to question its taken-for granted
nature. We suggest that these magazine’s ought to
offer an increased focus on more diverse forms of
sexualities and pleasures, with a recognition and emphasis
on ‘women-centred’ pleasures and desires, if heterosexuality
really is to change to a ‘real’ egalitarian sexuality. From
a constructionist perspective, media such as Cleo and
Cosmo do not represent the reality of women’s and men’s
sexual desires, they produce the possibilities, and indeed
the ‘realities,’ of women’s (and men’s) desires and
fantasies, and potentialities for action alongside these.
However, as we noted in our introduction, the ways in
which such representations are taken up are also important
for understanding the ongoing construction of male and
female (hetero)sexuality. Therefore, future researchers in
this area may seek to examine how such texts and themes
are taken up and engaged in by heterosexual female and
male readers and whether/how they are resisted, challenged,
or accepted by readers."​

Panteá Farvid & Virginia Braun, Department of Psychology, The University of Auckland, Auckland, New Zealand.
 
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Sorry, I just have a bias against using popular media as confirmation of anything substantial or scientific.

No need to apologize, I also don't put much stock in any source that is over popularized simply because it is interesting. I agree, peer review is very important to validate articles and information. That's why books such as the ever popular Sex at Dawn don't appeal to me. They get lots of lay people endorsement but actual peer reviews by people with credentials are few and far between..and often very critical.

I just pass on information as I find it. I'm not invested in it.

Women's Health actually has some very good information in it btw....despite the airbrushing. Everyone glosses up thier magazines and books...because that's what sells :)
 
With all this talk about multiple times in one night, I was thinking "I've only ever managed once a night, I'm feeling inadequate now." However, I need clarification on something. In, for example, the following situation:

Go at it for 20 minutes or so, take a ten minute break, move to a different room, go at it for half an hour, ten minute break, go outside, another twenty minutes or so, fifteen minute break, go back to the first room, another half hour, finish up, take a nap.

Is that once, or four times? I've been counting that as one...
 
With all this talk about multiple times in one night, I was thinking "I've only ever managed once a night, I'm feeling inadequate now." However, I need clarification on something. In, for example, the following situation:

Go at it for 20 minutes or so, take a ten minute break, move to a different room, go at it for half an hour, ten minute break, go outside, another twenty minutes or so, fifteen minute break, go back to the first room, another half hour, finish up, take a nap.

Is that once, or four times? I've been counting that as one...

I was counting MY orgasms because I'm pretty sure she had alot more than I did. start with a nooner, go out to lunch, back to the house for round 2, walk the dog, mow the yard, round 3 in the shower, dinner.....etc, etc
 
In my experience, in the last seven years, yes, the male sex drive is a myth! Or at least the next thing to it!

With Breathes, until the last month or so, it was extremely rare that we would have sex more than twice a month :(. He's 40.

With Possibility: we've been seeing each other for a couple of years and had sex once! He's 34.

I'm 44.

A lot of the time the lack of sex, or even mutual stimulation, stems from different work schedules, life issues causing stress, lack of sleep, improper nutrition, forgetting to have fun rather than going at it in a business like fashion....it's really a very long list.

We can't forget the mental aspect either. Stress falls into this category, it's not all stress though. It can be something as simple as the bus was late so you didn't get home on time or not being able to find the mailbox key to a really bad day at work and horrendous traffic making your ten minute commute into a two hour slow moving bumper car experiment!

I would absolutely LOVE to have sex, stimulation, sexual fun (not necessarily physical sex but PLEASE stimulate my brain!) three or four times a week. It won't happen for various reasons.

My advice to all those women you're talking about who are looking for ways to get their guys interested? Dress up like a hockey puck (I'm in Canada so guess why I said that), a football or a piece of equipment from their guy's favorite sport and have some fun with it! For me sex is most often about fun and stress relief, not about the physical act itself. Even if they don't actually have sex I'll bet they will find that they will feel just as relaxed after some fun time with their guy!
 
I have a hard time believing in the age based horniness levels. I am 36 and .. lets just say I do just fine..

My.. sexuality and levels of arousal are as good today as when I was younger. If not a little better.
 
Like all myths there's probably something to it, somewhere.

For another random data point, I'm male, and I definitely have a higher sex drive than my wife. Once a month, once every six weeks, that's about it. She's just not interested. Except when she is, about once a month. ;P It's a point of contention, but at this point, it's a well-worn discussion, and not one that generally goes my way.
 
I have a hard time believing in the age based horniness levels. I am 36 and .. lets just say I do just fine..

My.. sexuality and levels of arousal are as good today as when I was younger. If not a little better.

I think stress, exhaustion, and health issues are a huge factor for men and they just have a larger collection of all of the above as they get older, even if the sex drive is still there. Just a personal observation.
 
I think stress, exhaustion, and health issues are a huge factor for men and they just have a larger collection of all of the above as they get older, even if the sex drive is still there. Just a personal observation.

Sexual chemistry plays a huge role as well. At least in my experience.
 
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