I'm not suggesting the male does not ejaculate, which is completely different from a male orgasm.
Thanks for saying this. I don't think this is common knowledge out there.
I am fascinated by this aspect you pointed out. I didn't have an orgasm in my life until I was 30. It was the first time I let go, because the man seemed to be enjoying it so immensely, himself! He was the only one I could do that with (then I discovered vibrators, ha).
I never believed Sundance enjoyed giving oral sex much, even though he SAID he did (but, well, I'm finding out he's said a lot of things that aren't true).
With Butch, I had a serious hang up in the way! It was nothing to do with him, or us, it was me. In my head, the sex was for HIM. The relationship was for HIM. For his needs, for his healing, I absolutely melted into him and disappeared. I would never let myself go completely. The only pleasure in it all was in the giving.
Strangely enough, it worked. I got back like I've never gotten, in my whole life. I had WHOLE BODY orgasms. I read about Tantric later and found out, that's exactly what was happening. I was healing him, whole-heartedly, and I got healed right back. He gave equally. I could not outgive this man. He also let go of the power trip of trying to "get me off" -- what was going on between us was so much deeper, so much more profound. The French call the orgasm the "little death" -- I said I didn't want to leave him.
By not orgasming, the energy exchange was something cosmic, electrifying, and yet the deepest calm I've ever felt.
When we'd part, one of us would try and say "thank you," but it was inappropriate. I told him, "No. That wrecks it.
We ARE 'thank you.' "
If you ever have a love like that, sex like that, cherish it. I actually feel funny sharing it here. It was sacred. I hope others have had it. Are having it. Will have it. It makes me realize that being called a slut, when something like this could come out of it? Is well worth it all. Sluts want to heal. They want to heal, and BE healed. Is that so wrong?