Smelling the flowers

Tonight is Girls' Night! Franki's husband is up north and her son is flying in from Amsterdam and she needs to retrieve him from the airport. It's totally crushing in on our Girls' Night, but we came up with a solution. She is meeting him and one of his coworkers at the airport, then they are meeting me at a brewery by the airport. I'll take her with me, and her son and coworker will take her car and head for home.

I need to stop by home to gather my things and then we'll head for B's. From there we'll head downtown to the Lesbian Pop-Up Bar. After we've concluded that we've spent enough time doing that we're going back to B's for hot tubbing, a fire on the patio, drinks, and sleepover.

In the morning I'll drive Franki home. :)

I should have prepared better for this night, but I didn't. This morning I loaded the washing machine so I'd have clothes for tonight/tomorrow and the plan was for Bond to move it to the dryer at noon. When I sent him a message asking him if he had, he hadn't but asked his son (day off of school) to move it. This is the text exchange. So hilarious!

https://smile.amazon.com/photos/share/Q4lPa1x8gxqk6bXAzLSaZFXHRYLEHdSkJZTXgD3oKfg

I blame Max. Cats are jerks! LOL
 
Girls' Night was a success. :) The pop-up bar was good, but they keep picking venues where it's really hard for people to mingle and socialize. B keeps complaining about that. She really wants to meet someone. I drove and I parked at in the grocery store parking lot next door (ground level of an apartment building. I was hoping to be able to charge my car, but the chargers were taken. When we left we swung by the deli and grabbed food. They have a fab deli.

The fire didn't really take off, so we let it die and just enjoyed the hot tub. However, the combination of the heat of the hot tub and the alcohol made me feel ishy and I thought I was going to get sick. We simply stayed in too long and I had three drinks between 6:30 and 9:00 pm, and I just can't handle that much anymore. I sat out in the cold night air for a while and my head quit swimming and I recovered, slept decently, and didn't have a hangover the next day, so that's a win.

Saturday morning I took Franki home. All in all, it was a 97 mile round trip. Two miles away from Madison on my way home all hell broke loose and it snowed like crazy. The beltline was hellish and barely moving. By the time I reached home, it was a thing of the past. I had to laugh, though, because my Facebook feed was filled with posts by Madisonites bemoaning the snow. Post after post. Like, we all know we live in a cold climate, but none of us appreciate the damn snow much.

Saturday evening I picked up my grandson. One short day with him, which is never enough for any of us; me, him, or James' kids, but at least we got to see him.

Sunday I finally got to paint. All I wanted to do all weekend was try out a method I saw on YouTube last week. I must have watched the video a dozen times, and I missed by a mile when I finally attempted it. I had to repour the first (largest) one to get something I was happy with, well, actually I liked attempt number one, but I thought I could do better and I was right. My paint consistency just isn't right. I need to dial that in.

Largest painting

Smaller painting

Today is Bond's birthday, and my 17-year work anniversary. We're having a Monday Birthday Beers for Bond tonight at a local brewery/restaurant. I think a dozen or so people will be stopping by. Not bad considering we didn't make the event until last Friday.
 
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My daughter wants her dog back, as the job opportunity fell through. Goodness, we're going to miss her dog. He's such a great dog. Looking at the calendar I think it'll work to take him back to her on the 3rd. It'll actually work to our benefit to have him gone before the 16th, when we leave for Colorado.

This morning Bane, the dog, wasn't sleeping in our room. I believe he slept on the couch last night. He didn't come into our room until after we showered and were getting dressed. He looked incredibly sad and guilty. I guessed he had done a bad thing, whether that may have been tearing into something he should not have or having gone potty somewhere. A search of the house revealed that it was a potty accident. He had pooped in the dungeon (not a real BDSM dungeon, just a big room in the basement where Brazilian Jujitsu is often held). It wasn't a big mess, but he felt so bad about it. He was down and dejected. Even taking him for a walk, he lacked his usual enthusiasm; the leash was slack. To see an animal so down over their actions always strikes me profoundly. I think we tend to underestimate how deeply animals feel things.

My youngest son called me yesterday. He's torn about moving to AZ in April to live with his GF. Like his me, he finds the arid climate draining and doesn't feel okay until he returns to the land of lakes and greenery. Other concerns include differences in their spending/saving, which is a huge thing long-term in a relationship.

He loves to do things outdoors and she wants to live in a metropolitan area. She sees them living in either Arizona or Colorado. He has been looking at housing prices and what they can afford in those areas and it's not delightful, especially compared to where he currently lives in northern Wisconsin at the Michigan border. He also really loves his job and thinks it'll be a great career builder, so he hates to give that up to start at another job at an Engineer I level.

He loves her, but he's feeling his typical "time to abandon ship" feeling that he gets around 18 months. It's either commit or flight time and he's struggling. The thought of ending things is painful for him, but the future with her doesn't lead him down paths he wants to go.

She says she wants to start a family by the time she's 28, she's currently 24. He feels that he needs about 10 years to have himself established before starting a family.

When he considers breaking things off and establishing himself with a home and career where he lives now, he projects that in 10 years he'll be well off and lonely. That his chances of meeting someone that interests him and doesn't have a pre-made family and shares his liberal views (predominately Republican area) is slim. I can see his point, but it's not impossible. I told him that there is always online dating to help with that. Plus, there have to be people who have gotten a college degree and want to live in the area they grew up in. It's possible.

He has a lot to think about.

Saturday I'm going to Ikea with Michelle, my former roommate, and Franki. It's a traditional shopping trip we make each fall. This year though, we're going to a different Ikea as one has opened near Milwaukee. I'm really looking forward to it.
 
Bane is actually sick and not just being remorseful over pooping in the house. He deteriorated so quickly. By noon Bond sent a message that Bane was limping on his front right leg, but that he couldn't find any reason (pad crack, broken nail, thorn, etc.) By evening he was not getting up, not eating or drinking, and refused to come to our room to sleep. I checked on him around midnight and got him to move off of the hardwood floor onto his blanket. By 2:30 am when I next checked on him, he had found a more comfortable spot in the front room. He did not get up to greet anyone this morning.

We were able to get him into the vet at 8:30 am. He is running a temperature of 105*F. Dogs run a naturally temperature higher than humans, but this is still high. Suspected culprit is lymes disease. Second guess is a fungal lung infection which is really damn serious and is more likely to happen in northwestern Wisconsin, right where my daughter lives. :eek: Lung x-rays didn't show the lesions typical of the fungal disease (can't recall the name), but did show unnatural density, which could possibly be attributed to the kennel cough that he hasn't totally kicked. The vet gave him a shot of antibiotic and two painkillers to jump start things, and sent us home with two prescriptions of the drugs.

The boys are home today (teacher conference) so they'll be able to keep him company and Bond will be home for lunch to check on him.

I'm really hoping it's lymes disease. It was encouraging to see him start to favor his rear, too, because that's typical of lymes.

It's so shocking to see how quickly a dog can go downhill. Two days ago Bond took a video of him chasing a ball in the backyard and the next day he was down and out by nighttime. I know this from experience, but it's still a shock when it happens. Hopefully in two day's time we'll see him rebound as the antibiotics do their thing. If not, then we'll run a titre for the fungal disease. Fingers crossed it's not that as his chances of survival are quite low with that disease.
 
The dog and daughter drama continues. Bane seemed to be really improving Friday and Saturday and then went downhill on Sunday. Monday he spent half the day at the vet clinic where they could observe him and run some more tests. The end result was lightening our pocketbook by $205 and the lymes diagnosis is confirmed. Evidently the Rimadyl is upsetting his stomach.

We planned on returning the dog to my daughter this coming Saturday. The plan was to drive up, drop him, visit, and return home the same day. It's about 3.5 hours each direction, so it makes for a long day of driving.

Also reporting in sick yesterday was my daughter; fever and ick.

Last night the guy who originally was going to save her and give her a construction job called me to ask if she was okay, because she quit responding to his messages on the 20th. We had a conversation. I told him I'd talk to her and get back to him. But it was date night with Bond and we were about to eat dinner and watch a movie, so I postponed my conversation with her, even when she checked in on her dog.

I woke to a message from her that she was "going to jail atm must have missed court".

She knew damn well that she missed court, because I was on her about it. I'm sure she'll get 6 months of jail time.

Now I'm wondering what to do with the dog when we go to Colorado on the 16th.

Jolly times.

I need to get back to the guy about her incarceration.
 
So, it's not the Rimadyl that is affecting the dog, it's the antibiotic. Multiple poops in the basement in the night again, including bloody mucus poops. Poor dog. I made a call to the vet clinic and they are prescribing him something to calm his GI tract, plus we're switching to a bland diet until this gets under control.

I'm leaving work at 4:15 today, because it's Halloween and I want to be part of taking the kids around. This is the first year that B and her kids are joining us. We're meeting at her house, Wicked Professor and his gf are also joining us. Then we're going down a block or so to another neighborhood that Bond's friends live in to go with their group. That's what we have done in the past. The new element is having B and her kids and her ex and his gf along. Afterwards we're having pizza at B's and then going home. I'm picking up take and bake pizzas on my way home.

My daughter called me from jail yesterday. It'll take $688 to spring her. I think her boyfriend/boss is willing to pay it. The case worker called me this morning to let me know the purge amount. While I had her on the phone I asked for the grand total of what she owes; $11,194.30. Damn. I'm so mad at her. She turns down jobs because she doesn't want to work inside, is too lazy to call to get her case number for me, and avoids dealing with things to such an extreme even though it means jail time. She avoids something she finds uncomfortable just to land in something that is far worse.

I honestly do not like my daughter. Despite this, I set up weekly payments to pay her child support. It's only partially for her sake; mostly it's for my sake and for the sake of my grandson's family. It's $98.40/week. I think the bf/boss will set up weekly payments, too. I'm not going to tell either one of them that I'm doing the same. Maybe between all of us we can make a dent in the back child support. I have little faith that her relationship with this man will be long lasting, so I'm going to make hay while the sun shines as the farmers say.
 
So much has happened on the daughter front since I last posted. It's easy for me to draw a line and take a stance with her until I speak with her. When I hear her side and I cannot stop my humanitarian reaction. There are reasons for her actions and once I get her to share them things don't seem so black and white.

On our way to Trick or Treat, the bf/boss called to say that he wasn't going to pay the purge amount, because he didn't think she'd pay him back. Okay.

Later that night she called me crying and pleading for me to meet her at the hospital, because she was super sick and had gotten the jail to send her for medical attention. I was at B's with Bond and the kids, and didn't have my car there. The kids were sorting candy and dinner was in the oven. The hospital was over an hour away and it was already 8 pm. I refused to rush up there. We had multiple conversations over the course of the night. She had a kidney and bladder and tooth infection going and was indeed quite sick. They pumped her full of fluids and antibiotic before sending her back to the jail. She had an option of either getting the antibiotics out of a pharmacy vending machine or having the prescription called into a pharmacy and the medication brought to her. I opted to have them send it to the Walgreen's by me and take it there myself.

I spoke to her about her turning down the inside job and not showing up for the interview. She said that it was between the welding job and the office job and the timing happened to be at the same time. She thought she was getting the welding opportunity and it paid better and had better benefits by far, so she messaged the guy and told him she wasn't going to come to the interview. That's quite different than what the bf/boss told me. Additionally, she didn't have transportation.

When it came to getting me the case number for her child support, I had forgotten that she said to get it off of CCAP. Well, that's a different case number and it isn't on there anyhow. But more than anything, she said she didn't want me to take that on, too. That she asks for too much as it is.

I had time to reflect on all of this through the night and while I drove to the jail. By morning I had decided halfheartedly that I would pay the purge amount. The night before B had told me I was an enabler and that I should not continue to help her. It was time for her to be responsible for her actions. Bond was in agreement. I recognize my role and yet, it's hard to not respond when it's your kid and you are hearing their pain. So, I was feeling like I had to come to her aid and also feeling like I did not have my partners' support if I took this route. Guilt in all directions.

She hadn't found a job, but two people had promised her jobs and then rescinded their offers. She had a job interview set up for the end of the week as an office receptionist and had asked her grandmother to drive her to it.

I considered how hard it is to live in a rural community without a vehicle. I'm not sure how she could even get back and forth to a job if she landed one.

So, as I waited for the paperwork to follow the purge payment I thought about all of this. It's true that I am dishing out money to her all the time. But her comment about how she hates to ask kept circling in my head. Typically she'll ask for amounts anywhere from $20 to $40, and sometimes up to $100. She asks for what she needs to cover her immediate needs and I respond to that request, which never takes her very far. It's always a "just in time" request and response. What if we changed that? What if I agreed to invest in her for say, three months? What if I committed to financially backing her up front? I had already set up the automatic child support payments, so the threat of jail was no longer going to be looming over her head, but what if I went further to say, I am going to help you help yourself. What do you want to do that will help you create the future you want?

She wasn't released until close to 2:00 pm. I had brought her dog and all of his stuff along. She cried and he cried in excitement when they were reunited. We went to the gas station for some cigarettes and snacks and then took the dog on a short walk. I presented her with this idea. I think it was initially hard for her to wrap her head around it, but she loved it.

She wants to create her woodwork and re-purposed/re-worked furniture craftsmanship. So, I'm going to give her money towards that. It will mean slowing my debt payoff plan for at least three months while I invest heavily into the Megan 2018 Reboot plan, but that's okay. When she was a young adult she could not be coerced into secondary education, and she was so young when she got pregnant, which means we didn't really invest in her the way we did for the boys with their educations. Tragically, this has left her with limited marketable skills. She told me that she is, "retarded when it comes to making her ideas into reality." Well, you can't very easily actualize dreams if you have no means to make it happen.

I spoke to her about being more honest with me. That the lying needed to end. If something isn't working for her that she needs to speak up and tell me what isn't working and why. That we can address the issue and look for solutions together.

We went to the DMV on our way up north Thursday afternoon to get her driver's license reinstated. Another hurdle solved with $60.

I met the guy she's living with (she had a previous relationship with him when things went sideways for both of them the summer before). The next morning I took the two of them for breakfast. We had hoped to be able to get her vehicle into the dealership that day, but the earliest appointment is Tuesday (tomorrow). The plan is to rent a car dolly from U-Haul and a friend of her boyfriend (not the bf/boss guy - turns out that didn't materialize both on the job front or the romantic front) is going to get it to Eau Claire for her using his truck.

The job interview she had set up for Friday that grandma was going to get her to, didn't happen. She contacted them to confirm things and they told her that the position was filled.

She set up a doctor's appointment for the 14th. She needs her hip checked and a follow-up to all of the infection she's currently being treated for, ask for medication for depression and hopefully she'll also bring up the possibility that she has ADD. She's planning on going through the arduous task of getting her Badger Care HMO changed to one for the area she lives in so she can get into the dentist. She needs an eye exam and she wants to find out where she can go for that.

She has been busy looking at projects she wants to tackle and has selected this one: wood trunk with colored stain

I came across an article a number of months back that said the tough love path may not be the best answer. I just found an article with a similar message. It supports the direction I'm going with my daughter. I'm going to try compassion and investing in her. I'm going to put in effort to listen to her and not yelling. We need to break the shame cycle.

I accept that this may falter and we'll be no further ahead than we are today, but what if it does make a difference? We've tried the other and it certainly wasn't working. Seems like less shame, more compassion and empathy, and lighting her hope are all good things.
 
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My daughter's vehicle finally got to the dealership yesterday afternoon. They told her it may take several days. Because it's all wheel drive, it wasn't possible to use a car dolly, so it ended up being transported on a flatbed trailer to the tune of $213. The dealership said the ignition issue will run around $500, and she will not be able to lock her doors. To do that it would cost another $200 or so and she's decided she can live without that. I'm skeptical. Maybe down the road that's something that can be resolved.

I know it's early days, but the interactions with her are greatly improved. Conversation is interesting and it's like having my daughter back. Hope and love are powerful drugs, hopefully this will pay off.

Once this vehicle stuff is taken care of, I'll start sending her money for her biz, starting on the 21st. Oh I should catch you up to date on the plan; after giving things some consideration, instead of dumping as much as I can swing towards her for three months, I decided to give her a weekly living allowance of $125 (a figure she came up with) and $400 for her woodworking venture biweekly on my paydays, ending the first pay period of June. I'll abbreviate the name of her business here as RWD. This will fund $6,000 for RWD over six or so months. I asked her if she wanted the living allowance weekly or biweekly like the RWD money and she said that for now she wants it weekly so she can better manage it. She's keeping a journal of her business expenses and trying to do a good job of it. That's so encouraging to hear.

Her boyfriend, gonna call him Leroy Brown here (even though he's 2" taller than good ole Leroy in the song), is being really supportive and they're working to create a work space for her on the farm. It's gotten really cold in Northern Wisconsin and they were slowed down this week due to harsh weather. She's feeling impatient to get back at it. Hopefully the storm has passed now and they'll be able to get busy again.

I'm encouraging her to explore live-edge resin tables and coffee tables. They are gorgeous and sell for a healthy price. They can be tricky, but I believe the effort and investment will result in a sweet profit.

Wish us luck.
 
My daughter picked up her vehicle yesterday, but its developed a new problem. When idling it surges to high RPMs. I encouraged her to make an appointment to get it fixed. She can't really drive it as-is.

Saturday night B invited me to join her Girls' Night and sleepover. She also invited Bond and Wil to join us after Bond got the kids fed. So, the guys were there from 6:30 to 9:30 or so. Two of the ladies had already left, and one remained. We soaked in the hot tub until we were pruny. It was super nice and the sex B and I had after everyone went to bed was fantastic. :D

In the morning my car wouldn't start. It was totally dead. Bond came to the rescue and put his little charger on it and started it. Evidently my battery has been getting by because at home it's usually plugged in and at work my parking garage is heated. This was the first time it was out in the cold and not plugged in which gives it a little boost when starting. Yesterday I skipped work and took my car into the shop for a new battery. Man, batteries have gotten expensive. The best part of the day was the nooner with Bond. :D

We're heading to Colorado on Friday, returning on Monday. :) I hope it's enjoyable. We're staying with B's good friends. We stayed with them once before and I found it heartbreaking how they spoke of, and to, the guy's daughter. They were constantly saying how she was going to turn out just like her addict mother. She is a creative and difficult teen, but so many of us were difficult and we're functioning adults now. They act like her path is concrete and that's the only route for her to travel. How awful is that?

My middle son is coming home for Christmas with the baby. He says she's walking and practically running now. I cannot wait to see them. :)

Next week I only work on Tuesday. I wish every week was like that. LOL

I need to start planning Thanksgiving meals. I don't know how long my family is staying, probably just over night, but maybe they'll arrive Wednesday night and leave Friday morning. I should inquire.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving we're having a birthday party for B at our house. She wanted just a few people, but by the time she got done listing the ones she wanted to invite we sent out 15 invitations. I already know of two people that can't make it, so it'll probably still end up being a small-ish party.
 
Bond has a work trip to LA December 11-13th, Tuesday to Thursday. Which means date night (Tuesdays) will be B and me. Should be fun to have some one-on-one time without feeling like we left someone out. That's a big deal for me; the feeling of leaving someone out. It affects me so much. Personally, I dislike feeling like the one out so much that it makes me sensitive to new people coming into an established group, like at Polycocktails. I always try to make them feel welcome and part of the group as quickly as possible. This also affects my feelings towards the one-on-one dates B has requested. Dislike. But B and Bond both enjoy those kinds of dates, so I'm stuck with them.

I called my sister last night on my drive home to find out when they're coming for Thanksgiving. She needs to talk to her husband and our parents and then she'll get back to me. After talking to her, I called my youngest son to find out what days he and his girlfriend will be here. They're coming on Wednesday and his GF will need to leave the next morning to join her family. He's staying, I believe.

I learned the my sister's oldest daughter and family will not be coming to Thanksgiving, which truth be told, may motivate my daughter to come. She's not a big fan of her cousin. It would kind of be a miracle if my daughter did come to Thanksgiving. I think it would do her a world of good. She has been ducking family get-togethers for quite some time now due to feeling ashamed. Now that she's feeling better about herself, we may see her. :)

I had this big plan that I was going to start packing for the CO trip last night. Yeah, that didn't happen. So, tonight we need to buy a few food items for the trip after dropping the boys off at their mother's and then I need to pack everything and get the car loaded. We want to pick up B at 5:00 am. We're taking the Tesla, which means added time for charging. It's totally worth it because it makes trips so much easier to have autopilot to help ease the fatigue, but it will push our arrival back later in the evening. B is probably going to be chomping at the bit to get there and may get pissy. It'll also be much cheaper to drive than a gas car, so that's another bonus. This morning B said that her bestie said we're clubbing Saturday night. My first thought, oh gawd, I'm too old for that shit. Dread.
 
Ya'all, it's crazy pants to drive nearly 2,000 miles over a long weekend. Straight up crazy pants. And now I need some time away from my GF. Just a day or two and I'll be right as rain, but damn, right now I'm tired of her snotty/sassy attitude.

We rolled in around midnight, so I'm super tired. I only have to work today and then I have the rest of the week off of work. Sweet! My youngest son says he'll be at our house in the morning. I'm not sure if that also means his gf will be there that early or not. Seeing as she needs to leave on Thanksgiving morning, I suspect they'll have separate transportation. <shrug /> Bond bought a fresh turkey at lunchtime today, so that box is checked off. I will need to start brining it tonight or tomorrow morning. I haven't completed my grocery list. I am still sorting out which dishes I'm making and what I'll need. That needs to happen either tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm feeling a bit behind on all of this holiday stuff.

B is cleaning our house today, so at least I don't have to add housecleaning onto the to-do list. :) I will have to flip bedrooms Thursday morning, but that shouldn't be too bad. Bond's boys will go to their mom's Thanksgiving afternoon and then will be gone for the weekend which will free up S1's bedroom for my sister and brother-in-law to use. Wednesday night Tay will use the big guestroom and then he'll need to move into S3's room so my parents can use that guestroom Thanksgiving night. Musical rooms.
 
Thanksgiving was a whole lotta fun! And exhausting. :) Wednesday night my son's GF got the boys and Bond to play cards...until 12:00 am. I think it was after 12:30 am by the time we climbed in bed. Thursday night we stayed up playing Mexican Train, a dominoes game, and we didn't stop the game until 1:00 am. I think I got in bed around 1:30 am. Oiy! You'd think 83 year-old senior citizens would retire earlier! My grandson was near zombie-ish Friday.

Bond kept his boys until 9:45 pm on Thanksgiving; delivering them to their mother's at 10:00 pm. They went to their grandparent's in Indiana from Friday to Sunday.


Thursday afternoon my family joined me in the art studio and did acrylic paint pouring for the first time. They made coasters using 4" tiles. Once the paint is cured I'll seal them with a polycrylic spray or resin and apply cork to the bottoms.

My mom's cousin-in-law came over Friday morning. Tay took my sister and brother-in-law to the airport and returned to the house, allowing his nephew to sleep in, before leaving to meet up with his GF on her return from Chicago, and dropping my grandson at his father's on the way. My parents left around the same time. Bond went to work before they left. He was feeling like he needed to get some work done, because of all the time we took for the Colorado trip and then Thanksgiving. Once I had the house to myself I headed straight to the art studio, but then remembered it was Black Friday and that Michael's might have some good sales going. I popped over to the store and got some Level 3 canvases 70% off and a bunch of paints for 40% off, and glitter. I never thought I'd buy fucking glitter, but I did. :rolleyes: That's where this obsession with painting is taking me!

Open pour on 10" x 20" canvas

Open pour on 11" x 14" canvas

Saturday night we had a guests over for B's birthday. Thankfully it was low-effort as she decided upon a taco bar. It was fun, but all of our guests were exhausted from the holiday (thankfully, as we were too) and left quite early, 8:30-10:00 pm or so.

Sunday was really relaxing. Bond played video games and I poured paint. OMG, I am really loving paint pouring. I changed up my paint mix and it's working better. I posted pictures and videos to the Facebook group I follow and I got a lot of positive feedback. I also posted them to my Friends and Family and got tons of compliments. My niece wants to commission me to do a painting for her home! I'm jazzed. I need to take the next step and either varnish the ones that have cured or resin them, or a combination to see what works best and what effect I like best. Then I will start pricing some for sale. I need to fund my new addiction! LOL

Open pour on 11" x 14" Level 3 canvas

My first funnel pour. 11" x 14" Level 3 Canvas

Flip cup on 8" x 10" canvas

Flip cup on 11" x 14" Level 3 Canvas

Various techniques on a 20" x 20" Level 3 Canvas

Today is B's 42nd birthday. We're invited to her ex's for ribs done in the smoker. I can't wait. :)
 
We had a nice date night last night with B. I pressured her into tentatively scheduling a date with Bond for either today or next Wednesday. She wanted to wait to see if her pops said he was up to a visit from her today, and evidently she didn't hear from him, because she just got back to Bond that she's up to a date with him tonight. :)

That poor guy, he is so full of angst when she avoids scheduling with him. His brain tells him that she's losing interest and is about to break up with him. I don't think it's a sign of anything amiss; it's just B. She says she wants one-on-one dates, but then fills her calendar or hesitates to commit which really feels like she is holding out for a better option. It's a crappy feeling. He talks his brain weasels into a more optimistic outlook on a regular basis. I don't think she's about to break up with him or me. She craves stability and family and we provide that, so I believe it would take something major for her to end things with us.

My evening plan is to pop a pork tenderloin into the steam oven and then spend the rest of my evening in the art studio. I'm excited.
 
Saturday morning I started hauling totes of Xmas decorations upstairs and Bond got the tree upstairs and set up in the sunroom. Once the lights and glass-bead garland were installed, the boys and I decorated it. So far Max has only knocked one ornament off and it wasn't breakable and Sybil used it once as a cover to ambush Max. So far, so good. :)

We attended Bond's company holiday party Saturday night. Their format is a one hour cocktail hour before dinner, followed by two hours of "gambling". They start everyone with $1,500 in fake currency, the dealers lean towards making it easy so people win and at the end you turn in your chips for raffle tickets. Everyone guest is given two raffle tickets when they arrive, and employees are give additional tickets related to how much seniority they have with the company. Employees are the only ones allowed to enter the raffle, so their guests need to write the name of the employee they are attending with on their tickets. The prizes range from $2,600 in value down to $400-$500. I can't really recall the lowest valued prize. They have multiples of some prizes. For examples, this year and last there were 6 snow blowers. Bond placed most of his tickets on a $500 Amazon gift card, which he won. iRoomba here we come! :D

The gambling is a lot of fun, but B refuses to participate and that's her choice. This year there was only one open chair at the Blackjack table we stopped at, so I didn't gamble. Bond wanted me to find another table, but I decided to stand with B and watch instead. I was enjoying it, but B was bored to tears. Eventually she went and sat down at one of the dining tables. Her mood was so sour. She was tired and bored and cranky. She continued down this path and complained to Bond when it finally finished. She didn't want to wait for the raffle and overall was a spoiled sport about the whole thing. If Bond would have known how early she was going to be done with things he would have had her drive separately he said. He felt bad and I felt uncomfortable and annoyed with her. Last year she was fine and enjoyed the big party all the way through to the dancing following the drawing. But when you chose to not participate things can seem long and boring! She's an adult and she needs to put up and shut up in certain situations, because the alternative is being ungracious and rude.

Sunday afternoon Franki came over and we spent the entire afternoon in the art studio. She had a blast making coasters and two paintings. So much fun!
 
B adopted a senior cat. A friend of hers post on FB that someone she knew (maybe a relative) had passed away and they were looking for someone to adopt his 10 year old cat, Bacon. She picked her up yesterday and so far Bacon is not too thrilled about the transition, but that is to be expected.

I am so thrilled with a big 30" x 40" painting I created on Saturday. It's the first one I've created that I really want to hang on our walls. And I believe it's something I can recreate. Plus, it spurred other thoughts and ideas that I want to explore. :) After that I made two adorable little paintings for my granddaughter. They look like snapdragons in a garden. So cute!

Franki came over Sunday and we both did the same technique to create summer garden paintings. The one I made is for my youngest son's GF for Xmas. I doubt he'll be able to take it on the plane, so I'll need to mail it. It'll be my first time going through that process.

I'm itching for the big painting to dry so I can get my table space back. I really need to varnish or resin some of the paintings that have cured (3 weeks minimum). I need the space. I wish we had a sink in the other big room in the basement, because that room has a 4" x 10" board along the wall that one could hang paintings along like a picture rail, and there is a pegboard I could use to hang paint tubes. It might also be an easier room (than the one I'm set up in) to add an exhaust fan to the outside as it's on the backside of the house, although Bond thinks it wouldn't be too hard to do in the room I'm in right now. He also suggested an air capture hood over the table to go along with the exhaust fan. His idea, so maybe it'll happen. I sprayed two sets of coasters with sealant Friday night and it about fumed us out of the house. Dangerous, and I won't try it again in the basement until we have ventilation. In the meantime, he suggested doing it in the sunroom, because it has a baseboard heater and I can shut the sliding doors that connect to the house and open the ones that go to the outside to ventilate the room. I bought a mask to wear yesterday, too.

I posted a couple of pics of paintings on my FB this past week and my BFF asked to buy one. I decided to gift it to her. I'm honored that she liked it that much. And then Bond's sister in TX noticed the same one this weekend and also wanted it. I am going to make another and send it to her. On that same thread, my brother's first wife asked me what I was doing with all of these paintings. Bond put a laughing emoticon, because yeah, they're piling up. She was worried she offended and followed up with saying she sincerely wanted to know what my plan was. Meanwhile I'm busy painting and not reading things on Facebook. Bond replied that he only laughed, because they are piling up and we had just been saying I was running out of room. Once I got back on FB I answered her. I said my main goal is to get good at it, to make things for myself, and gifts, and eventually to sell things and do pieces on commission. It was a bit uncomfortable to say that outright for the first time and to have it be in a forum where my friends and family could see it. But I'm glad I did; it forced me to crystallize my ideas.

This morning I checked the price chart for a 30" x 40" and that size painting is suggested to sell for between $300 and $900. Higher priced items are priced higher due to execution of skill, and materials (canvas quality, resin, framing, paper backing and hangers, etc.). Goals.
 
Bond had a work trip from Tuesday to Thursday (today) in LA. B and I were going to have our date night Tuesday night, but we were both sick, her more so than me. I called off work yesterday, too, although I certainly could have gone. I felt terribly guilty and nervous about missing two days of work, because today I have my annual review, but fuck it. I hate being at work.

Instead I spent the day rearranging my art studio. I had a new shelving unit to assemble to hold paintings while curing. I added vertical cording spaced every six inches or so for the paintings to lean against. I kind of wish I'd have spaced them closer, so I may go back and add more. I cleared off the huge ping pong table and sorted the boxes I had already staged for donation. Bond had some concerns about some of the things I was getting rid of, so I went through things a second time and was more gentle in my decisions. And then I loaded them into my car and dropped them off at St. Vincent de Pauls. Woot! I would like to take the table down, but then it becomes a question of where to put it. I'd actually like to be rid of it, but I'm not sure I can get Bond onboard. If I can manage to not let things accumulate there (again), it would make a good surface for paintings that are past the stage where they need to be level, but are still in the process of drying. Ping pong tables are super flexible and this one is homemade, so it's especially so. A decent shelving unit would also serve this purpose and would take less space and could actually be leveled, thus increasing functionality over the ping pong table.

I mentioned in our ongoing Messenger thread with B and Bond that the other room would make a really nice art studio if only it had a sink and Bond responded that we could have one put in by the washer and dryer, so maybe it'll happen someday. Regardless of which room, more lighting is needed, especially with the new configuration I came up with yesterday. I created more stations to accommodate more people working in there together, but now the lighting is really lacking in some areas.

My order of floating frames arrived yesterday and they are fantastic. I'm really excited about them. I only set different canvases in them and didn't actually mount them inside, but wow, they look sharp.

Oh, I put polycrylic on four paintings, several coats on some of them actually, and it's pretty cool. It makes the canvas feel like plastic, though, which is kind of an odd feeling. But, the vibrancy returns to the colors and they really pop.

An artist friend posted about an art fair in April. I would need to get in my application, with good photos of my work to be juried by February. Seems too soon, but it's probably not. I'm just nervous. Toying with the idea. Maybe I'll act on it if I get my courage up.
 
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I misspoke, I didn't have my annual review yesterday, I had the pre-evaluation discussion that happens prior to the review. It went very, very well. I was told that I have a "more overall viewpoint of the entire unit, a more holistic approach, than the other team members."

Bond's back and it's lovely to have him back, but truth be told, I didn't miss him. I reveled in having two days of art time. I feel so healthy in not missing him and enjoying time for myself. :)
 
The weekend went by quickly. We had a holiday party Saturday night. We ducked out early enough to get to the bar to listen to the German Art Students (friends of B) and then two other bands that were really fabulous after them. I haven't been out that late in eons.

Between Saturday and Sunday I was able to complete two paintings that I'm happy with and another that I will re-pour. Overall, though, it was a successful painting weekend. Franki and her daughter came over yesterday to paint. Franki made more coasters for presents for her co-workers. Her daughter had never done this before and she really liked it. She made coasters and an 11" x 14" open pour painting. I'm trying out a new spray for finishing the coasters. The first spray I got has a matte finish and I was hoping for shiny. I need to check my test coaster tonight to see how it looks and to see if a hot coffee cup will make it cling to the coaster.

Tonight is date night with Bond. Whatever we do, I hope it involves delicious sex.

My daughter called me yesterday and she and her BF broke up. She had until 5:00 pm to get her things out of there. She said another friend told her she can put her woodworking things in his garage. I hope it works for her. This is so heartbreaking. I hope it doesn't change her plans to come home for Xmas.

My middle son is sick with the flu. He had his baby momma come get the baby, because he's so sick and then he went into the dr. The doctor prescribed him Zofran. I hope it helps.

There is a chance that he'll be able to head north to WI on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. That would be so great. I've got my fingers crossed. It all depends on whether or not M's parents come up to her place for Xmas Eve. If they do, then he can get the baby early and leave that day rather than the 26th or 27th.

My youngest and his GF will be at our house on the 25th and they'll leave for the airport directly from there on the 26th. Their flight is at 4:00 pm.

I have my grandson the weekend before the holiday, which is this coming weekend. I'm trying to avoid overlap of him and his mother.

Bond just asked B and me if we wanted to have a NYE party at our house, friends, out of town guests, and kids? I can't say that I'm excited about that prospect, especially if he plans on getting his kids for it, because we shouldn't have them NYE or NYD. I think I'm going to be holiday'd out by NYE.
 
Daughter Update: she and the BF are trying to work things out, so she did not move out or move all of her woodworking stuff to her friend's. She is planning on coming for Xmas still. I'm so excited. I haven't had all three of my kids together for Xmas is many years.

I've completed my Xmas shopping and all via online shopping, although I may end up needing some stocking stuffers. Bond and B are shopping today, so maybe he'll take care of that and I won't need to. :) What I really need to do tonight is wrap everything.

Thursday night we are supposed to swing by a brewery where our friend is handing out calendars he has published with his photography for each of the months. It's an annual thing - I can't remember how many years I've been getting one from him, maybe 4-5 years.

Friday night we're going to a Winter Solstice Sunset Bonfire Celebration.

Wind up 2018 at the Winter Solstice Celebration!!!
Cast your regrets and dreams into the fire
As you dance into the New Year!!!

Drummers and Fire Twirlers Welcome!!
Bonfire lighting 4:20 PM or so… (Sunset Time: 4:26 PM)

Hot cider and chocolate to warm your insides.​

It's being hosted by a friend of a friend of ours. It should be a good time. I think I'll be picking up my grandson prior to this and Bond will bring S3 if I do. I can't think of anything I want to bring to burn.

I need to complete my grocery list so we can shop Saturday morning. With so many days of company I'm going to be doing a ridiculous amount of cooking. Saturday or Sunday, B is baking cookies and then bringing them to our house for the kids to decorate. I plan on doing additional baking, both for the kids and for Bond and me (keto).

Bond's boys, and maybe my grandson, leave Monday morning. My grandson may need to be home Sunday night. I need to verify that. His boys will be back on Wednesday, the 26th.

Christmas Eve will be a quiet day for Bond and me. I am thinking of making seafood chowder for the two of us, and prepping for the next two days.

I still don't know if my middle son and granddaughter will arrive late on the 24th, or not until later in the week. I wish he were able to say one way or the other.
 
... I plan on doing additional baking, both for the kids and for Bond and me (keto).

Where do you get your keto baking recipes? I've been working on one a friend gave me for cookies...by the time I was done with it (6 batches later) it was basically nothing like the original!

My main sticking point is the sweetener - I don't like my baked goods super sweet. My friend uses Swerve but I think it instantly dissolves into a sickly sweet liquid the minute it is in my mouth. I think I like Splenda Naturals better - but was still too sweet for me (but with less of a chemical after taste).
 
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