First a little bit of history, I think I've always been Polyamorous, but never realised it was ok until quite recently. In my relationships (especially the good ones), I would be unconsciously pushing my GF into the arms of friends and often felt that the person I most wanted to tell that I found someone else attractive was my current GF! At the time I took these to mean that I was not 'in love' with my GF and usually broke off the relationship to prevent any hurt.
Now I'm married with 3 daughters and due to my living away from the family most of the time, my wife has become much more heavily involved with 2 male friends. One is an old friend from before we married, who I was always happy that she see, and the other is recent since I started working abroad.
My wife has admitted that these relationships have become somewhat sexual, but says she hasn't had intercourse with them. She claims she would like me to have a 'good friend' like she does, so I told her about a friend that I have, which is remote (not physical).
Her reaction was fairly jealous, surprisingly to me, as she already admitted having 2 other friends that were physical to some extent at least! Since then she has been very 'attentive', remembering special days, posting pics of the kids and wedding photos etc.
I would have really liked to push this to the next level and allow both of us to have the freedom to commit to other partners (I've met both of the guys she is seeing), but I'm feeling that, even if she wants it for herself, she wants me to be monogamous with her!
I've tried dropping hints about polyamory including commenting on a facebook friend who recently 'came out' as poly.
I feel if I tell her to sleep with these guys, she will feel hurt, and if I sleep with my (remote) friend and tell her, then she would be even more upset, so I'm not sure which way to move the conversation, or whether she can really handle poly at all, as she is quite narcissistic and doesn't take criticism well!
Any advice?
Now I'm married with 3 daughters and due to my living away from the family most of the time, my wife has become much more heavily involved with 2 male friends. One is an old friend from before we married, who I was always happy that she see, and the other is recent since I started working abroad.
My wife has admitted that these relationships have become somewhat sexual, but says she hasn't had intercourse with them. She claims she would like me to have a 'good friend' like she does, so I told her about a friend that I have, which is remote (not physical).
Her reaction was fairly jealous, surprisingly to me, as she already admitted having 2 other friends that were physical to some extent at least! Since then she has been very 'attentive', remembering special days, posting pics of the kids and wedding photos etc.
I would have really liked to push this to the next level and allow both of us to have the freedom to commit to other partners (I've met both of the guys she is seeing), but I'm feeling that, even if she wants it for herself, she wants me to be monogamous with her!
I've tried dropping hints about polyamory including commenting on a facebook friend who recently 'came out' as poly.
I feel if I tell her to sleep with these guys, she will feel hurt, and if I sleep with my (remote) friend and tell her, then she would be even more upset, so I'm not sure which way to move the conversation, or whether she can really handle poly at all, as she is quite narcissistic and doesn't take criticism well!
Any advice?