Discussion Group Topics

Reaching out to those who attend local poly discussion groups...

What are some of the topics that seem to get a lot of interaction from those attending?

I'm hosting a very small (intentionally) discussion group on Sunday, and I'll be perfectly honest I'm very nervous about it. I want to avoid lulls in conversation, which sometimes happens with me.

I've attended a few different discussion groups over the last few years and thought of trying a different approach. That has me anxious, but I'm also excited.
 
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The one I suggested for the next meeting of my poly discussion group is:

NRE - How do you handle it? In yourself, in your partners, how do you make sure you're honoring multiple relationships when somebody is losing their mind over one in particular??

We have previously talked about:

- Poly and power exchange dynamics (most/all of our group is also kinky)
- Jealousy (of course)
- Changes (new beginnings and endings)
- Conflict management
- Communication

And I can think of plenty of other ideas...right off the top of my head:
- Metamour relations
- Cohabitation challenges (and how you resolved them)
- Needs/boundaries and the when/where/how to compromise, versus when to stand firm on them.
- Various kinds of poly (is anyone here solo poly? What does that look like to you? Relationship anarchists? How do you define that? Etc.)
 
Hi Vaughn,

I attended quite a few potluck/discussion evenings with the Albuquerque poly group and, while just about any topic went well and generated discussion, the most interesting one was when they let everyone write down questions on slips of paper and picked random slips for the group to discuss. So the topic could have gone just about anywhere, but it tended to be about things people tended to be interested in.

Hope that helps!
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Choose whether the topic will be "deep" or "lively."

IME, avoid a wide-ranging discussion of "jealousy." I attended a monthly get-together for almost a year, & EVERY evening was a gripe session of the predominant "couples looking" who felt that was the ideal time to air out their ineptitude.

This was defended to me as, "well, it's clearly necessary." My response: "yes, obviously, but it ought to be a specific meeting, elsewhere" because those of us who were(1) poly experienced & (2) doing quite well thankyoueversomuch tended to get :rolleyes: bored in about 30 seconds & wander off to chat quietly over one more glass of wine before heading home, leaving the clueless to trade the same old threadbare platitudes like "communicate communicate communicate!" without Clue One as to what they were doing.
 
I'm hosting a very small (intentionally) discussion group on Sunday, and I'll be perfectly honest I'm very nervous about it. I want to avoid lulls in conversation, which sometimes happens with me.
It's okay to have a lull in conversation - that is natural. Was there anything you had on your mind when you offered to host the group?
 
It's okay to have a lull in conversation - that is natural. Was there anything you had on your mind when you offered to host the group?

Yep. I didn't want the current local discussion group to disappear, but it did anyway.

Let me give you an idea of what we have (had) in the general area.

Tampa Poly Discussion group - meets once a month in a private room in a restaurant chain. I've been to a few and the gathering tends to get large, but it's sectioned off so there is privacy. Discussion tends to get heated and (to me) it feels like the same people talk over one other each time I've gone. As a person who was relatively new at the time, it felt uncomfortable to be able to ask a question about anything for fear of getting steamrolled over. My feelings aside, I still promote it as a great place for people to go to and to meet others in the community.

Sarasota Poly Discussion Group - now under new moderatorship, this is a bit more of an intimate setting. Turnout is smaller, and until recently had been held in a back room of a coffee shop so privacy was there, but getting local people to come out and attend is a challenge (I myself drive about an hour to attend).

PolyPinellas Discussion Group - the last meeting was held earlier this month on its one-year anniversary, as the group leader wanted to take this particular event in a different direction. This was held at a local dungeon where 9 tables were set up and as new topics were brought up, people would rotate to different tables to be able to have the discussion (no more than 5 at a table) with new faces. Getting people to attend was also a challenge and while we had an almost-packed house for the first event, attendance had been dwindling.

My goal for having this particular discussion group was to give those a chance to attend who may have a fear of larger discussion groups. The parameters are simple: No more than 6 in attendance (plus a moderator, maybe two). No rotating tables. Everyone has a voice. It will be in an open area of a local coffeehouse. Every month it will be held in a different city at a different coffeehouse and anyone who attended the previous month's discussion will be asked to sit this one out so that new faces can attend.

I don't know how successful this will be (which of course also gives me anxiety) but it was a concept I heard on a podcast and I thought Hmm, that's different and we don't have anything like that around here, why not?
 
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