I met my goal for contacting people. It hasn't led to any *ongoing* contact at this point, which kind of hurts because some of the folks I reached out to on Facebook have said in the past that they wanted to be in touch with me, wanted to hang out, whatever... but each of them had maybe a half-hour conversation with me and I haven't heard from them since. Probably if I reached out to them again, they would do the same thing... but to me, it makes no sense to be the only one reaching out. To me, if I'm the one consistently reaching out to someone and they never talk to me *unless* I reach out, that means they don't actually want to talk to me and are just being nice when they hear from me because they feel sorry for me or something.
I realize that some folks have people in their lives who they only hear from once a year if that, and they still consider those people friends... but that isn't friendship, in my mind. That's "Oh, I know you, I should probably say hi." Friendship, for me, requires more frequent contact than that. Not every day or anything, but at least once or twice a month, for more of a conversation than just "Hi, I'm busy."
I also realize some people are legitimately so busy they don't have time to do that... but those people are not people I can be friends with. I can be, at most, friendly acquaintances, which are the people I say hi to and maybe chat with if I happen to run into them somewhere, and otherwise they're just names on my Facebook feed, if that. They're not friends. They're just people I know who I get along with if I see them.
I'm obviously also guilty of not contacting people frequently, but it isn't because I don't want to talk to them. (Which I realize might also be the case for at least some of the people who don't contact me.) It's a vicious circle where I figure if they wanted to talk to me they would, so I figure they don't want to talk to me, so I don't contact them, so I don't talk to them frequently enough to consider them a friend. But on the other hand, when I *do* contact them, I either get no response or I get a few minutes of conversation, and then I don't hear from them again unless I contact them again. Which completely reinforces to me that they don't want to talk to me, so I probably won't contact them again. To me, friendship goes both ways; if someone doesn't contact me at all ever, why should I contact them?
It sucks, because the intention of reaching out to people was that I hoped to find or reconnect with people I could talk to on a regular basis and maybe even hang out with, and I didn't find any at all who fit that category, even after contacting 40 people between Facebook, Fet, and OKC. So I feel like a complete failure. But even though the intention and hope was to find people I could have ongoing contact with, the *goal* was simply to contact 40 people, and I did that, at least...
In other news, on Saturday I met up for coffee with a guy from Fet. That was not a worthwhile experience. I specifically stated to him that I was meeting *only* for coffee, and *only* for an hour... but he tried to talk me into fooling around with him on the train when he realized we were taking the same train home. When I told him I don't fool around with anyone unless I'm comfortable with them, he asked when I would be comfortable then said he didn't understand why I would do what he wanted since he's a Dom and surely I must want someone to be a Dom to me.
*Eyeroll*
I ended up getting on a different train just to get away from him...and then he kept messaging me asking when he would get to play with me and saying he was going to come see me. (He does NOT know where I live, not even what town.) I finally told him he isn't what I'm looking for. He asked what I was looking for, and I said, "Someone who doesn't expect me to play with him just because I agreed to meet him, who accepts and respects that I have a Dom and am NOT going to have another, and someone who can be my friend and not pressure me for sex every five minutes." He didn't answer. No loss.
Tonight I see my boyfriend. Tomorrow night I get to see Site-Guy. Thursday I get to see my boyfriend again... because it's our one-year anniversary