irrationull
New member
Hello all,
I am new here and I'm hoping you folks could give me some advice!
I have been polyamorous for several years now, and have been dating a monogamous person (let's call him T) for two years. When we began dating, I told him that I am polyamorous and that he would need to be okay with me pursuing other partners. I had a few sexual/FWB type partners in that time but they didn't really last. He handled them well.
Fast forward to about the middle of last year. I started talking to a cute girl (let's call her W) who was in kind of the same boat, dating a monogamous person. For about 8 months, we only chatted, we didn't hang out.
About two months ago things changed on her end and she was able to start hanging out with me (previously overstepping partner realized that she was being unreasonable). W and I started hanging out, and getting somewhat sexual. T was okay with this and didn't mind it.
About two weeks ago, W told me she is in love with me. T says he is not okay with that and doesn't want my relationship with W to progress; that he is only okay with us being friends. He understands that this desire is not logical, but we can not move past it.
Consequently, W does not feel comfortable seeing me when T has this much say in what we can and can't do. Understandable.
Any tips on how to demonstrate to T that he has nothing to worry about? At what point is someone that you love overstepping and being coercive about what you can and can't do? I obviously want to be considerate of what makes him uncomfortable. I also don't want W to be at T's whim, especially when W is not T's partner.
Thanks in advance!
TLDR: My long term partner is uncomfortable with my new-ish partner being in love with me and does not want us to be together. When is a request like this too much?
I am new here and I'm hoping you folks could give me some advice!
I have been polyamorous for several years now, and have been dating a monogamous person (let's call him T) for two years. When we began dating, I told him that I am polyamorous and that he would need to be okay with me pursuing other partners. I had a few sexual/FWB type partners in that time but they didn't really last. He handled them well.
Fast forward to about the middle of last year. I started talking to a cute girl (let's call her W) who was in kind of the same boat, dating a monogamous person. For about 8 months, we only chatted, we didn't hang out.
About two months ago things changed on her end and she was able to start hanging out with me (previously overstepping partner realized that she was being unreasonable). W and I started hanging out, and getting somewhat sexual. T was okay with this and didn't mind it.
About two weeks ago, W told me she is in love with me. T says he is not okay with that and doesn't want my relationship with W to progress; that he is only okay with us being friends. He understands that this desire is not logical, but we can not move past it.
Consequently, W does not feel comfortable seeing me when T has this much say in what we can and can't do. Understandable.
Any tips on how to demonstrate to T that he has nothing to worry about? At what point is someone that you love overstepping and being coercive about what you can and can't do? I obviously want to be considerate of what makes him uncomfortable. I also don't want W to be at T's whim, especially when W is not T's partner.
Thanks in advance!
TLDR: My long term partner is uncomfortable with my new-ish partner being in love with me and does not want us to be together. When is a request like this too much?