Nicknames

PolyPriest

New member
What's with all the nicknames with so many poly people? It makes it seem that I'm talking with a bunch of cosplayers or something. I don't mean that as perjorative -- we're big RenFaire people. But I find it to be very different.

I'm not just talking about usernames, which I understand. But people will say things like, "Dark Gladiator, my husband, and our partner Cloudbased Dragon." Just trying to grasp and get used to it.
 
The names have been changes to protect the innocent.

I find the creative names to be fun. I think I need a "Cloud-based Dragon" in my life :) Excuse me if I steal it.

Using "A said this," and "B said that," is very confusing.

I tend to use nicknames that use a known like of a person or something to do with their job. I like to use short names that are easy to type. Also, I am severely short on imagination. So I have a Mr Lime, Ms Cherry, Mr Dom, Mr Chef. It worked for Quentin Tarantino ;)
 
It helps with anonymity for us, the writers, and those we write about.

This board is fully searchable by Google. I'm not "out" to my family, nor is my husband to his. We may or may not tell them, but at least this way we have the choice rather than someone stumbling across us here.

Everyone else I write about also deserves that same courtesy. Thus, the nicknames. Some of my people know I write here, some don't. Shakespeare was rather chuffed when I told him his nickname hehehe. I also told him *why* I chose it, but that's between us.

Chalk and Cheese I met in the same town within the same year, but they are exceptionally different from each other. Neither know I write here and probably wouldn't even recognise themselves.

etc.
 
Hi PolyPriest,

The nicknames are rather part of the culture of this forum, they are not required by the guidelines but they are recommended. On the one hand, you do not want to out your partners, friends, and such, especially since Polyamory.com is searchable by Google, so you don't want to use their real names. On the other hand, you want to use names that are easy to remember. Just referring to someone by a one-letter initial can get confusing, especially if there are many such someones in one thread. "Dark Gladiator" and "Cloudbased Dragon" would be easily remembered, while not being names someone would know of when doing a google search. This is kind of the reality a lot of us live with, as we are not out to our family and friends (or at least not most of them). Nicknames help us stay in the closet even while discussing our relationships on these boards.

Hopefully that answers your question. :)
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Nicknames really help! Calling someone by a mere initial is very confusing to your readers. And calling someone "my wife" or "my gf" is identifying them in relation to you, which is kind of disrespectful of their autonomy.

Sometimes I use a regular name, like Ravi, or Kahlo. But usually I use something that is a bit descriptive of their personality or something general about their looks.

Often when someone here is using A and B for their partners, we'll suggest Apple and Biscuit or something, and if the poster doesn't want to use their imagination, they'll just go with the suggestion, lol.
 
Are you imagining that all of the people here call their loved ones by these names in real life? :eek:

I'm not sure what I was imagining, but I've been quite active on swinger sites for about 15 years and have never run into this phenomenon. It's just a curious aspect of the culture to me. :cool:
 
I'm not sure what I was imagining, but I've been quite active on swinger sites for about 15 years and have never run into this phenomenon. It's just a curious aspect of the culture to me. :cool:

I know nothing about "swinger sites." Are you saying people on these sites use their actual names when chatting or setting up dates or parties? No one prefers anonymity, as we do on this site?
 
As others have mentioned this site is fully google searchable, maybe swinger sites are set up in a very private way? I don't imagine they feel safe being Out to the general public.

Leetah
 
I know nothing about "swinger sites." Are you saying people on these sites use their actual names when chatting or setting up dates or parties? No one prefers anonymity, as we do on this site?

Yes, people often strive for anonymity, but often by just using initials or first names. Some use nicknames, but they generally don't have the SciFi or fantasy feel that I see on poly boards. Our profile just had our initials, and we shared first names once we were making plans to meet someone. But we were "F & S" rather than "FireyWarlord and Seductrix".

On the other hand, the swinger sites didn't tend to have ongoing stories of relationships. I can see with multiple partners that storytelling is easier to do and follow if there are names, rather than initials.

From the feedback I've received (Thanks, all!), I'm going to just think of it as a poly culture thing. As I've indicated, I don't think of it as bad, just different.
 
I'm on several swingers site. Lots of people do no use their real names. Maybe the do not use "dark horse" but it was years before I knew a guy named "Luke" was "Chris" IRL.
 
If you want to see some really goth names check out any BDSM site.

It's not really a poly thing. It's more a reflection of what people are into (such as gaming or sci-fi).
 
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