DebbieandRay
New member
This morning, around 3:45AM my husband got up to use the bathroom, then I had to go. I asked Ray if he wanted to play a little before we fell back to sleep. He said, "sure."
Ray got himself up and we did what I call the lazy X. In this position I can put my leg over his and he can actually get in me, and neither of of has to do much but enjoy. So, we make love. Afterward I asked Ray why he hadn't kissed me or hugged me? And that it was just sex. I told Ray that I didn't want to be someone that he just considered someone to get off with.
After that Ray and I didn't talk. Ray got out of bed to have a smoke and then returned to bed, facing away from me and fell asleep.
What concerns me is that when he was with his ex, She had said to Ray once, "Why can't you love me without having to have sex with me?" And that took care of that. Ray and his ex didn't have sex from then on, for several years. To Ray that meant that if he loved her he would never want sex with her.
I don't want that to happen to me, or with me and Ray. That is actually a big fear for me.
Should I have not said anything?
Should I have asked for hugs and kisses?
Is it wrong to want him to do these these without me asking him to?
(A little back ground) When Roy was over the other day, Ray mentioned that me and Roy deep kissed for a long time. I told Ray that I love deep kissing. Ray mentioned that I deep kiss with everyone but him. I reminded Ray that years ago he had told me that I wasn't good at it. So, we don't do it, even though I love deep kissing, and do it with everyone else.
And yes, I will bring this up on Thursday at our therapist's office.
Ray got himself up and we did what I call the lazy X. In this position I can put my leg over his and he can actually get in me, and neither of of has to do much but enjoy. So, we make love. Afterward I asked Ray why he hadn't kissed me or hugged me? And that it was just sex. I told Ray that I didn't want to be someone that he just considered someone to get off with.
After that Ray and I didn't talk. Ray got out of bed to have a smoke and then returned to bed, facing away from me and fell asleep.
What concerns me is that when he was with his ex, She had said to Ray once, "Why can't you love me without having to have sex with me?" And that took care of that. Ray and his ex didn't have sex from then on, for several years. To Ray that meant that if he loved her he would never want sex with her.
I don't want that to happen to me, or with me and Ray. That is actually a big fear for me.
Should I have not said anything?
Should I have asked for hugs and kisses?
Is it wrong to want him to do these these without me asking him to?
(A little back ground) When Roy was over the other day, Ray mentioned that me and Roy deep kissed for a long time. I told Ray that I love deep kissing. Ray mentioned that I deep kiss with everyone but him. I reminded Ray that years ago he had told me that I wasn't good at it. So, we don't do it, even though I love deep kissing, and do it with everyone else.
And yes, I will bring this up on Thursday at our therapist's office.