older couple wanting to "take the plunge"

us2ntenn

New member
I was wondering if there are any members that are seniors. We hare both in our 60s and naturally have slowed down in a lot of ways. We have dabbled for some yrs in swinging..our best friends are swingers!.. have been practicing nudists over the years. We have thought about inviting another male to share our lives but are we too old to be getting into this?
 
Age boundaries are artificial and often self imposed. You don't have to naturally slow down and in fact, can decide to speed up if you want to. The limits on your possibilities are only the limits you put in place. One of the great joys of my 50s is discovering not only how many of my contemporaries, but how many significantly younger people are interested in my friendship.
The world is your oyster - always - if you perceive it to be.
 
You're not too old! What's "too old?" The oldest person to hike the Appalachian Trail straight thru was in her 80s--age is what you make of it. So, go for it!

Much more than age is the idea of "sharing" another person. A closed triad is pretty much the most difficult arrangement to achieve, and the one that probably falls apart the most spectacularly. Before heading into it, I definitely recommend reading up on it. A lot. One article I like is: http://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html . Ignore the title, since I am unsure it it applies to you, but it's a great read for couples who want to "share" a third person, and may help both create a useful dialogue for yourselves and the potential new person, and to avoid some mistakes that can end badly for everyone.

Welcome, and enjoy!
 
Thanks so much for the replies. We are very firm in our relationship and have had some experience in the respect of a 3rd to share our bed, but we have never encouraged anyone to be a "come on in and help cook dinner" type of situation. As ive aged(the male) my sexual performance has suffered and frankly, it takes more to stimulate me than it used to. Ive always been turned on knowing she is getting worn out and dont have any particular jealousy issues when it comes to sex. There is just a lot of things I dont know about in terms of all the time a triad may spend together, or apart doing non sexual things...in other words ordinary life. I think this will be the part that I will have to get used to.. adapt to and become comfortable with
 
If you end up living with the third person (e.g. the male you're thinking about seeking), I imagine the nonsexual (just living together) part would be like adding a cozy roommate to your domicile. I'm sure everyone would have to get used to various little things in each other.
 
Hi, I am 59, I separated from my husband at age 54, and have been finding this new phase in my life to be extremely satisfying, erotic, fulfilling.

Sorry about your lack of sex drive. Are you able to use Viagra or some other ED drug?

As for "sharing" a man with your wife, do you mean, sharing a home? If you are not bisexual and not seeking a bi guy to share, you mean you're open to being in a live-in V relationship, where your wife is the hinge.

The next step is for her to start dating on her own. She may or may not find a guy you like! She might fall for a guy you find you can merely barely tolerate. This is quite common in Vs.

If she is really dedicated to weeding through offers until she finds a guy you really like (platonically) that will take some time. Finding a guy who is willing to be in a fidelitous V and moving in with you 2 will take even longer.

Some Vs function very well where the hinge basically has 2 homes and goes back and forth between them, for example.

Do some reading!

books:
Opening Up
More Than Two
Ethical Slut

websites:
morethantwo
practical polyamory

Keep reading threads here. Do a tag search for triads, unicorn hunters, Vee, metamours, new to poly.
 
Wow!

So much information....sooo many decisions! Thank all of you for all your help and wisdom..I realize that we are looking for the ideal situation,but are prepared to compromise..Also thank you for somehow allowing me to talk about a lot of really personal stuff.. We definitely are not prudes but sometimes it makes one feel better after reading other folks posts. I will continue to read and explore as several of you have suggested and try to learn and prepare...Thanks!
 
As ive aged(the male) my sexual performance has suffered and frankly, it takes more to stimulate me than it used to.

Just adding that a more Tantric approach to sex can serve the more experienced man and woman in a big way. Emphasis is on being intimate with another human and allowing sexual energy to FLOW - as opposed to getting it up and getting off as the focus. Very cool approach if you can get past the typically nutty websites. Some larger cities have Tantric workshops that are worth looking into.
 
I think that's awesome!

I can only hope when I am your age I will be this willing to try and embrace new things..
 
I just wish that when we were in our 20s we looked at things then as we do now..We would have both been hard to handle! This is not a first marriage for either of us and we certainly take a liberal approach at life these days.I really hope that she(we) can find an individual that is slightly younger than her, has a good job, his own place to go from time to time and a 7 inch dick...oh.. and likes woodworking!lol! The big difference I think for us is that he will have to be someone we both like and can trust and enjoy spending time with...Maybe im looking for a bromance? Also , she is straight and has never had a desire to have a sexual relationship with another woman. As for me, I think my days of romancing another woman are pretty well done and there is very little chance of anything going on between me and another guy...It may turn out that she just needs a boy toy, but I suspect she will develop strong feelings for the right guy.. I guess we shall wait and see when and if.
 
Well, you never know what the future may hold. But I hope you find the man of your dreams! :)
 
It's nice to see that it does not have to be too late

I am 65, and find myself in need of something beyond my 35-year stagnant marriage. Past relationships have shown me that I am poly-inclined; my spouse was much the same at one point, but has completely lost this part of her personality. We now agree that pursuing our own interests is the healthiest alternative, but I have been feeling that that world is 30-something and my place in it has passed. This thread gives me hope that there are others around me who do not believe life ends at 50--you have lifted my spirits.
 
Its good to know that as inexperienced as I am that there is something I said that may help someone else! We do go through some of the same things you are experiencing and i truly do understand. We have had a tough year, financially, emotionally and physically. One of the biggest things was my wife falling and suffering a serious injury to her face. She is doing quite well but there is no doubt that she is very self conscious about her injury. This has somewhat complicated our situation.I dont know that we will find what she(and I) are looking for but at least the door is somewhat open.I dont need a lot and for all I know I may remain monogamous. I just hope that a new relationship will help her come to terms with some issues and quite frankly, give my blood pressure a little boost!I wish the very best for you and hope that your relationship improves and you both find what you are looking for.
 
Life certainly doesn't end at 50. We have entered into our first truly polyamorous ethical V relationship in our mid 50s, and it's a wonderful thing. We both are very energised and feel we have started a new and exciting chapter in our lives.
 
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