Imagine your ideal relationships.

I have what I want to awesome husbands... and my guys have what they need. Separate castles that are their own. No one is territorial or having their space invaded.
 
"I want a big house with at least 3 incomes. Me, Alex, and my other significant other. I want everyone to have their own room. So, if it's me, Alex, the kids, Alex's partner, and my partner, that's at LEAST 6 bedrooms. Anyway, everyone bounces bedrooms. Like one night I want to spend it by myself, so I sleep in my own room. Or I want to spend it with my boyfriend, so I spend it in his room or he comes to my room, or with Alex or whatever! Lol. I want co-parenting and I want the kids, all of them, to grow up in a home where we foster acceptance and love and just being genuine.I want the stability of everyone working together to pay bills but other than bills and household expenses we all have our own money. I want to be as close to someone as I am with Alex. For example, I'm serious with a guy for a couple of years and we want kids, I want to be able to have kids with him! I want late nights cuddling on the couch with EVERYONE. I want game nights. I want awkward, weird double dates. I want my boyfriend to bring home a girl and be like "this is so in so that I told you about, we are getting kind of serious and I wanted her to meet my family." I just want.... love. Lots of love. Lol." I replied.

Sigh. The dream. Well, at least my dream. What is your dream? Are you living it?


I love this idea.
 
My dreams are shifting again, too.

But I kind of knew they would. I knew there would be a period of growth following my divorce, where I'd be figuring things out. I also know that it isn't over yet. So my desires are very much "in this moment."

One thing that has not changed, is that as my kids get older and older, the youngest being 14.5 and counting... As they are less intensely needful of my services as an attentive Mom and I want them developing adult skills like cooking food for themselves, walking to the store, etc... Much as I adore them, I'm getting the basic animal restlessness that wants to look beyond, to the time when they leave the den and go make their own way.

Of course...part of this might be that I always had goals other than the formation and maintenance of a family. I look back at a long chain of mothers in my family tree, and I can remember them as people about three generations back...beyond that, nothing. Those women, hell the men, too, are names and maybe the odd black and white photo. I want to leave more than that. I want to leave writing and art. I want my descendants to know my story. And I want to LIVE. The white picket fence simply reeks of pointless toil and mediocrity. It's not enough, it never would have been enough.

So I look ahead. One thing that doesn't change is that I hope to do creative work for a living one day. I also hope to own, with or without a partner or partners, a home with some character that I can really make my own. I have my apartment...and it has much of my character all over it, and that's great. But one day...whether it is a city industrial loft, an old Victorian, or a log monstrosity in the mountains... And I want the space to create as well as the space to entertain. I want to host everything from BDSM parties to card nights, maybe even small concerts. I'd love to have a fire pit and a hot tub. And I want to be able to afford to travel.

Now if I could just get out from under the debt accrued during my marriage...some of this might even be possible one day.

EDIT: Lol I keep thinking about my living situation... and neglected the main point of this thread. Relationships. Truly, I think that I can maintain the intensity that feels like RELATIONSHIP...for one person at a time. Perhaps. Maybe once other logistics shift that might change. I'd like, optimally, the freedom to explore friendships, deep ones, with many. And maybe the odd jaunt into physical intimacy or play with others. I'd like it to feel more comfortable than it presently does. But I don't want to get into it too far here, this is maybe more something to write in my blog-thing.
 
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my ideal relationship would be with a primary (mono like) relationship where both parties are not restricted in an emotional or sexual sense to experience other relationships, but with certain boundaries to maintain a primary unit of commitment (if that makes any sense). commitment to the betterment of the other party and their best interests and to whatever are the better interests of the central relationship (as a whole).

maybe that's it. I see it as I have always desired a central relationship and all the jazz around those people are experienced with the other at their side to help navigate and guide (have each others back etc).

:: :: ::

on a different note: my ideal would be to cuddle, be comfortable and feel safe (that last point is pretty much all I need to say).

I love to learn and my current infatuation is learning code and so I would love to have someone who would enjoy that with me or at least appreciate that I have my interests and passions. I love lots of other quirky topics so an intellectual counterpart is paramount. <3 ... that's the way to my heart, my mind *swoon for imaginary boyfriend!*

:: :: ::

the ultimate ideal would be to have someone I love, love me and let me know, that they're there for me. everyone has their bag and while I'm not easily offended and prefer the expression of my emotions to be tidy and organized (I hate drama and overly emotional spillage), I will confess I'm super sensitive in my super soft squishy insides and I've been hurt in more ways than I care to count. Lots of rejection - I'm so sensitive to it that more times than not, it's not even worth trying. which is my current. I over think when the feelz go haywire and so my ideal match would be someone caring and patient who would be willing to reassure me (with actions, not words).

OH. and if they cook or wouldn't mind cooking with me because I suck at cooking. and they like lots of music and read and love to debate and discuss interesting ideas and topics ... they're golden. haha ...I'm a dreamer :p
 
my ideal relationship would be with a primary (mono like) relationship where both parties are not restricted in an emotional or sexual sense to experience other relationships, but with certain boundaries to maintain a primary unit of commitment (if that makes any sense). commitment to the betterment of the other party and their best interests and to whatever are the better interests of the central relationship (as a whole).

And what would the other people, who are involved with either one of you but not considered part of the "central" relationship, get out of it? What about their "better interests?"
 
My ideal relationship would be that all people involved in it in any way are sane (most of the time), consent to the relationship, and find safety, support and joy in the relationship.

Form MUST follow function or you get misery IMO.
 
Ideally I would like relationships that are highly intimate, fun, sexy and meaningful but partners would live separately from me, not feel a pressing need to sleep in the same bed, not have kids or difficult pets and be financially independent. Hah. Dream on. :)
 
Ideally I would like relationships that are highly intimate, fun, sexy and meaningful but partners would live separately from me, not feel a pressing need to sleep in the same bed, not have kids or difficult pets and be financially independent. Hah. Dream on. :)

My solo poly boyfriend fits that.

I almost do. I have two teenage sons, one who lives with me. Otherwise, that's me. My cat isn't difficult unless you're allergic to him.

Not such an impossible standard, I don't think.
 
My solo poly boyfriend fits that.

I almost do. I have two teenage sons, one who lives with me. Otherwise, that's me. My cat isn't difficult unless you're allergic to him.

Not such an impossible standard, I don't think.

Ah, well, older kids are different.

No, its not such an impossible standard. If I found myself living alone and single again I would aim for it. Plenty of friends I know and people I've met from poly groups fit that description, for example. Its just that my current relationship(s) are not like that.
 
I have never been in a poly relationship, I am still new to this. But when I considered myself to be mono, my ideal relationship is the one I am in now. With someone who is kind and loving, appreciates, supports, and listens to me.

But now I imagine something else that I truly want. I think I would like to have a primary partner and then have a few other partners too. Or I would just want to have several partners at once with no primary.
 
Ideal for me is me having 1 husband and 1 wife whether they are involved or not. Not necessarily all under 1 roof unless they both want that.
 
Ideally I would like relationships that are highly intimate, fun, sexy and meaningful but partners would live separately from me, not feel a pressing need to sleep in the same bed, not have kids or difficult pets and be financially independent. Hah. Dream on. :)

Weirdly I think that's kind of almost sort of my long-term plan - once the Small Person moves out in 13 years or so, TheKnight and I will probably still share a house or condo but with separate bedrooms and somewhat more separate lives, most likely. And at that point we will probably no longer have dogs, even though my greyhounds are lovely creatures they do limit one's ability to travel far more than the cats...
 
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