Re:
That's awesome. I am eager to hear about how it goes (if you want to share).
Well, we went to see a therapist. Her name is Margaret. She specializes in everything from abuse to voyeurism. She is also involved in a poly relationship of her own.
Margaret was very pleasant, and had a smile for both me and Ray. As soon as we walked into her office, and she introduced herself, Margaret read, or quoted, all the legal stuff she had to quote, then she told me that she had read the thread I had told her about (this one) during our phone consultation.
Margaret asked me to tell her more about my last post on this thread. I asked Margaret what she wanted to know. Margaret said she wanted to know more about Roy, my LDR BF. I told Margaret that I had known Roy for almost 25 years. And that we had been lovers for the last 8 years. Margaret stopped me, then asked me about today, with Roy.
Margaret asked me to use one word to describe the experience I had with Roy today. I thought for a moment, then answered, "Beautiful." Then Margaret asked me to use one word to describe last night with Ray. I immediately said, "Magical."
Margaret read through some notes she had, then she asked me to use one word to describe the experience I had with Tom the other night. I answered, "Wow!"
Margaret then asked me to use one word to describe Scott. I had to think, then I told Margaret that Scott hadn't called or answered any of my texts since Ray and I last saw him. Margaret asked me to use one word to describe how that made me feel. I answered, "Disappointed."
Margaret then asked Ray how he felt about Scott not calling or answering my texts. Ray told Margaret that he wasn't surprised. Ray said that he had a feeling this would happen. We paid Scott for work he hadn't yet done. Scott felt intimidated by Ray, and now we may not hear from him soon, or again.
Margaret thanked both of us, then she asked both of us to give a little back ground on our up bringing. After Ray and I gave Margaret our back grounds, Margaret told us that nothing was going to be accomplished in just one meeting. And both me and Ray understood.
Margaret then asked me if I thought that Ray and I had a good relationship. I said that I thought we did. And Ray agreed. Margaret asked me and Ray what we both wanted to accomplish in therapy. I told Margaret that I would like for me and Ray to communicate better. Ray said he didn't really know what needed to be accomplished, but he was open to suggestions.
Margaret "suggested" to Ray that maybe we should work on communication first. Ray agreed. Margaret asked Ray what he felt was the best aspect of mine and his relationship. Ray told Margaret that the best aspect of our relationship, to him, was that I was confident in his love, enough to love other men, as well as him.
Margaret asked me the same question. I said that the best aspect of our relationship was that we are not only husband and wife, we are best friends. Margaret took some notes, then asked both me and Ray why we thought that therapy could help us. I told Margaret that having a third party that could be objective might be able to see things that neither of us can. Ray said he didn't know.
Margaret explained to us that she had 25 years of experience in couples counseling, and just as long counseling couples who were into swinging, poly, kink, BDSM, voyeurism, etc. Margaret told me and Ray, while looking at Ray, that nothing was going to shock her, and that we both needed to be open and honest with her. Ray and and I agreed.
Margaret asked me if I loved Ray. And I said yes. Then Margaret asked me if I loved Roy. Again I said yes. Margaret then asked Ray how he felt about me loving both him and Roy. Ray told Margaret that knowing that I love Roy makes him feel good. Ray told Margaret that he knew that Roy was at the house today, and that I have loved Roy for a very long time. And knowing that I was physically loving Roy today made him feel loved.
Margaret asked Ray what it was like being married to a woman that other men want. Ray said that made him feel special, and that what he had was special as well. Margaret then asked me how it felt to have a husband who allowed me to be romantic and sexual with other men. I told Margaret that I felt very loved, not only by Ray, but by Roy and Tom and other men, too.
Margaret then asked me to use one word to describe my relationship with Ray. I answered, "Comfortable." Margaret then asked me to use one word to describe my relationship with Roy. I thought for a moment, then answered, "Alluring." Margaret asked me to explain how my relationship with Ray was "comfortable." I told Margaret that I feel very comfortable with Ray, and that Ray is like a pair of old, worn in comfy shoes. You know at the end of the day, no matter how your day went, that those old comfy shoes are going to feel really good once you get home.
Margaret then asked me to explain how my relationship with Roy was alluring. I told Margaret that Roy was never boring, and never really predictable. I told Margaret that Roy is spontanious and exciting, warm and loving. I never know what to really expect of or from Roy.
Margaret then said that our time was almost up, but she wanted to know if Roy would ever be willing to join one of our sessions. Both me and Ray said that it could happen. I told Margaret that I would ask Roy if he would be willing to attend one of our sessions. Margaret then asked Ray how he would feel if Roy sat in on one of our sessions. Ray said that he would Like for Roy to join our sessions. I then asked Margaret why she wanted Roy in our sessions.
Margaret told me and Ray that she may ask us if others may join at some time. And since me and Roy had such a close relationship that maybe having him join us would be helpful for her and us. I then asked Margaret who else she would want to have join our sessions. Margaret said that when and if the time arose, then we would talk about it.
I am not sure what all got accomplished with our first therapy session, but time will tell, I guess.
If nothing else, we got to know Margaret a little, and she got to know us, somewhat. And Ray and I made love when we got home. I guess I would have to say that today was a pretty good day. I got to make love to Ray. I got to make love with Roy, three times, and Ray and I went to our first counseling session.
I guess we will see where things go from here. We have another appointment with Margaret next Thursday.