When he brings his partners home for the night

Charming. Insult in lieu of actual discussion. Nowhere did I say ALL women ONLY want white picket fences. I said for some women, being second MAY be fine. But there's also plenty of evidence that for plenty of women, it DOES eventually becomes painful to realize they are just a fun thing on the side, number two.

We know nothing about whether these women are or are not perfectly happy with the situation, given that they aren't here to tell us. What I can tell you is that I've seen enough of poly over the last four years, on various forums, and in what my XBF told me of his many years in poly to know that lots of people are happy with things for a time. Or they're perceived as happy with things when they're not. Or their initial happiness changes as things go on longer, and they realize they will always be the ones going home alone at night, always the one on the outside looking in.

I have spent a lot of time reading several forums specifically for secondaries, and more particularly for single secondaries. To say that I see a LOT of pain there has nothing to do with antiquation or soapboxes. It's stating a fact: I see a LOT of pain among secondaries in particular.

It is something that should not be overlooked in the poly community.
 
Well in nate's situation they know they are just friends, they know that he's not seeking a girlfriend or looking to go on dates. If they want more they don't have to have sex with him, he would be friends with them nonetheless. These ladies aren't what I would consider as secondaries. They are just friend's with benefits

I do suppose if someone developed a crush on him then they would be be hurt because he doesnt have romantic feelings for any of them
 
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