Article in the Atlantic covering poly on OKC

If it only allows you to link one other partner... then yes, it's Unicorn-hunters 'R Us time.
 
Yeah, thanks for nothing OKC. It's only for one partner. I haven't seen the feature yet where the couple can search for partners together, that isn't explained by OKC but inferred in the article.

My understanding was that it's more so you can be more upfront about your status. As we've been discussing recently, having your profile linked to your spouse and listed as "looking" pretty much shuts down the cheating concerns.
 
Having read the article, I'd have to conclude that OKC is catering to unicorn hunters. Guess it was bound to happen. People are likely to hear about unicorn style poly before they hear about other styles. If it's the only press we'll get right now, I guess I'll settle for it. Heck, some MFF triads actually work out.
 
Yeah, thanks for nothing OKC. It's only for one partner. I haven't seen the feature yet where the couple can search for partners together, that isn't explained by OKC but inferred in the article.

My understanding was that it's more so you can be more upfront about your status. As we've been discussing recently, having your profile linked to your spouse and listed as "looking" pretty much shuts down the cheating concerns.

But my "spouse" does not and will not have a profile on OKC. That means I will probably be accused of being a cheater.

Some other concerns are that you are making the assumption that everyone has a spouse. What about non-hierarchical people with multiple partners? Picking one partner will make the others feel less than.

My only partner who does have a profile on there is not linked to me, but she is manually linked to her two boyfriends. I am also not linked to her because we are not at that level of a relationship.
 
But my "spouse" does not and will not have a profile on OKC. That means I will probably be accused of being a cheater.

Some other concerns are that you are making the assumption that everyone has a spouse. What about non-hierarchical people with multiple partners? Picking one partner will make the others feel less than.

Exactly. My spouse isn't on okc either, and my partner who is on okc would most likely list her husband as her "partner." We're already cross-linked via our profiles, which serves the not-cheating purpose just fine. Okc has totally geared it towards hierarchical, one-primary-only type relationships seeking their unicorns. That's bunk.

P.s., not so much that I'm assuming everyone has a spouse (I've been around the block, I know better) but rather referring to the people who DO have a spouse / life partner on whom other potential partners are concerned they might be cheating.
 
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Exactly. My spouse isn't on okc either, and my partner who is on okc would most likely list her husband as her "partner." We're already cross-linked via our profiles, which serves the not-cheating purpose just fine. Okc has totally geared it towards hierarchical, one-primary-only type relationships seeking their unicorns. That's bunk.

P.s., not so much that I'm assuming everyone has a spouse (I've been around the block, I know better) but rather referring to the people who DO have a spouse / life partner on whom other potential partners are concerned they might be cheating.

I should have said they, not you.
 
Well, that linking feature is just in the heading, so I wouldn't be too concerned one way or another. When I was on OKC last year, you could link to anyone's profile any number of times in your written profile. I found quite a few poly men who explained their particular kind of poly very well - most were attached and dating separately. My impression was that there were a lot of visibly poly people on OKC (many linking in their profiles to their partners), the least of which were unicorn hunters. I found the poly people on OKC (in my area) to be a pretty sex positive, experienced and pleasant bunch.
 
Well, I don't know why this is, but whenever I search for the words "polyamory" or "polyamorous" in profiles within a 50-mile radius of my zip code in NYC (Manhattan), I get maybe two results and they wouldn't be anyone I'd touch with a 10-foot pole. I have never understood why there is such a lack of poly guys near me on OKC. Even when I get rid of the keyword and just look for non-monog men, very few come up. Is it that I'm only looking for straight guys who don't smoke?

You're not far from me, FallenAngelina - what search parameters do you use?
 
As I recall, I never searched for "poly" anything because that did turn up weird results, searching for a specific term, and a lot of guys don't necessarily identify as poly but totally have a poly approach to dating. A good number don't think of themselves as poly but are very open to it. I searched for all men and left everything open in the drop-downs except for monogamous. Also, just identifying as a non-monogamous woman, I got a lot of good messages, i met a good number of men who were solidly partnered and poly in the good way. A few creepies, but mostly good guys. I dated one in Jersey for about 6 months and one has become a long term FWB along with his GF. More than FWBs, actually.

Most guys are non-smokers in the Brooklyn/NYC area, so I didn't specify that. I don't think that I once ran into a smoker.
 
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