SilverSprings
New member
Hi there
Brief intro:
I am a early 30's, divorced bi-female. I am in a newish relationship (2 years) with a great guy, from another country. He knows I am bi, i have tested the waters when we lived separately, opening things up. Not always with fantastic results...but it was a learning experience. And we are still together and we are very much in love. I can really see things for us in the very long-term, and that makes me very happy and feel lucky! We are now living together and things are moving along (mostly) well.. with of course a few bumps along the way but overall things are very nice
Now, back during my divorce / exploratory phase- i met a great girl. She was a bit younger, with a very mature and free spirited heart.. from another country, too, working and studying in the USA and myself and my ex-H (then still Husband) had a relationship with. It turned into mostly just her and myself. We traveled all the time, we had a great connection and a blast together! Parting was such sweet sorrow indeed . For 4 years... strictly long-distance communication has gotten the best of us. We are really missing one anothers company! Seems simple enough.. right? We promised one another, we would find a way to keep it alive, even if it meant every few years. I really would love that, if it were possible.
This year, I can not travel to her (as we had hoped i could), but i talked about maybe one day her coming back here, (as she calls it- for "Chapter 2"... She is extremely open. She has her own life, we both are in and out of touch, we always fall back in touch, however and respect one another very much. She even wanted me to assure my BF that she simply wants to "borrow" me, not "steal".. I have thought of even pitching in to assist with her travels (since i otherwise would have been the one to pay going over to her- since its technically 'my turn' to make a move). Perhaps just for a week, later this year. It would be OH so exciting and awesome!!
However, I have a boyfriend to consider.., who I think may be jealous of her (jealous in hiding) because he is also quite proud. However, as much as i think he is jealous, i think it is also a turn on and something he has always liked about me.. that i am open and free spirited. He is a free spirit as well, having never settled even though he is in his 30's also. He is also pretty mature and understanding, and wants me to be happy. I try to play devils advocate: If he were open with me about something such as this, and if i were as open minded (lets say he was "bi" also), I truly believe I would also want him to be happy.
He just wants to know and be assured my heart is #1 for him, and that indeed, it is. For whatever reason, over a year has gone by and i haven't missed or desired to be with a woman. Though, my BF has said occasionally that if it is something i want and desire, he is still open to it. He has never asked me for a 3-some either... not one of those guys. We satisfy one another completely. (other then that "bi-itch" that i mentioned... )
I appreciate advice on how to approach my boyfriend, and how to assure him. I have a therapist also, who is helpful. Yet, she seems to think / assume my BF is not ok with all of this- based on some of the issues we have uprooted and also that she has helped me with. (him and i had a bad fighting phase, which we seem to have worked through successfully)....
Thank you very much
Brief intro:
I am a early 30's, divorced bi-female. I am in a newish relationship (2 years) with a great guy, from another country. He knows I am bi, i have tested the waters when we lived separately, opening things up. Not always with fantastic results...but it was a learning experience. And we are still together and we are very much in love. I can really see things for us in the very long-term, and that makes me very happy and feel lucky! We are now living together and things are moving along (mostly) well.. with of course a few bumps along the way but overall things are very nice
Now, back during my divorce / exploratory phase- i met a great girl. She was a bit younger, with a very mature and free spirited heart.. from another country, too, working and studying in the USA and myself and my ex-H (then still Husband) had a relationship with. It turned into mostly just her and myself. We traveled all the time, we had a great connection and a blast together! Parting was such sweet sorrow indeed . For 4 years... strictly long-distance communication has gotten the best of us. We are really missing one anothers company! Seems simple enough.. right? We promised one another, we would find a way to keep it alive, even if it meant every few years. I really would love that, if it were possible.
This year, I can not travel to her (as we had hoped i could), but i talked about maybe one day her coming back here, (as she calls it- for "Chapter 2"... She is extremely open. She has her own life, we both are in and out of touch, we always fall back in touch, however and respect one another very much. She even wanted me to assure my BF that she simply wants to "borrow" me, not "steal".. I have thought of even pitching in to assist with her travels (since i otherwise would have been the one to pay going over to her- since its technically 'my turn' to make a move). Perhaps just for a week, later this year. It would be OH so exciting and awesome!!
However, I have a boyfriend to consider.., who I think may be jealous of her (jealous in hiding) because he is also quite proud. However, as much as i think he is jealous, i think it is also a turn on and something he has always liked about me.. that i am open and free spirited. He is a free spirit as well, having never settled even though he is in his 30's also. He is also pretty mature and understanding, and wants me to be happy. I try to play devils advocate: If he were open with me about something such as this, and if i were as open minded (lets say he was "bi" also), I truly believe I would also want him to be happy.
He just wants to know and be assured my heart is #1 for him, and that indeed, it is. For whatever reason, over a year has gone by and i haven't missed or desired to be with a woman. Though, my BF has said occasionally that if it is something i want and desire, he is still open to it. He has never asked me for a 3-some either... not one of those guys. We satisfy one another completely. (other then that "bi-itch" that i mentioned... )
I appreciate advice on how to approach my boyfriend, and how to assure him. I have a therapist also, who is helpful. Yet, she seems to think / assume my BF is not ok with all of this- based on some of the issues we have uprooted and also that she has helped me with. (him and i had a bad fighting phase, which we seem to have worked through successfully)....
Thank you very much
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