May update
May update.
R., M. and I are in a stable poly relationship. Not only am I with both, but M. and R. have on two separate occasions explored each other. (They often watch as I am with each of them; especially at the end of M.’s pregnancy, when it was practically impossible for her to make love.)
R. lives full time with us, having decided to put school on hold. At first I wasn’t sure about this, but I now think this was good. R. is fully focused on becoming a member of my household, with none of the distractions of school.
M. had our child, a boy, in mid March, no problems. She is recovering nicely, and after a brief postpartum up-and-down patch, she’s bonding nicely with our son.
Our daily routine is: The three of us get up, and the women take care of the kids while I shower and shave and get ready for work. We breakfast together, then R. or M. will drive me to the train station.
While I’m at work, R. and M. take care of the house, food shopping, taking care of the kids, errands, etc. We’re remodeling R.’s official bedroom, so there’s that. However, R. usually sleeps in our family bed, along with M. and me and the kids. Our co-sleeping arrangement is completely chaste. M. and I have decided that the kids will sleep with us until they are three, when we’ll move them to the nursery.
R. really likes cooking, while M. doesn’t mind cleaning. One source of minor domestic tension, R. is a bit of a neat freak, and M. is sloppy. M. and I used to have arguments about her sloppiness, but now R. is there.
R. picks me up in the train station, and often we’ll be so hot when we see each other that we’ll fuck in the garage back at the house. R. has an incredible sex drive, which is weird. She was definitely a virgin until I took her; you can’t fake it. But now, she needs sex at least once a day, often twice or three times on weekend days.
I took R. anally about a month ago. As I expected, this had the effect of binding her to me closer than ever. I used a succession of plugs to stretch her out until she was ready, ordering her to use it all day while I was at work. I also spank her hard, and have some light S&M play with her.
R. not only has a higher sex drive than M., but also M. just had a baby, so M.’s not really in the mood for sex. We make love about twice a week or so, sometimes less. We had no sex for the last month of her pregnancy and about five weeks after the birth. However, M. encourages me and R., and she openly enjoys that I’m with R. But she is very careful I not be with R. when she is ovulating. R. is not on the pill, so M. keeps track of her ovulation. Which is exactly when r. wants to fuck the most! But now that I have taken her anally, pregnancy is not so much a concern
M. is clearly turned on when I get home and fuck R. while she’s in the playroom with the kids. After dinner, once we’ve put the kids to sleep in the master bedroom, M. and R. and I will watch TV or talk in the family room downstairs. We have a baby monitor, so no worries. We don’t always make love. A lot of times, the three of us will just talk about our respective days. When we do fuck, it’s usually M. who says to R. something like, “Did you miss my husband today?” This is the clear signal that R. can come to me. When M. wants to make love, she’ll just come over to me and we’ll start. R. will assist when I’m with M. When I’m with R., M. won’t assist, only watch, though she’ll often tell R. how to make love to me. R. always does what M. suggests.
Thinking about this as I write: When both of my women are together, sexually or socially, R. is clearly subservient to M., and openly behaves that way. If M. isn’t around, she’ll be more straightforward with me, more sassy. She’ll also be more temperamental. But when M. is there, it’s almost as if R. is at attention, like a servant, or in the presence of a superior officer. R. is always on her best behavior around M., and treats her like a respected older woman, even though they’re only less than five years apart in age.
I’ve met R.’s family. They know she is living with me in the suburbs, and they know I am still married to M. and have children with her. But they don’t know that the three of us are living together. They assume that I am keeping them both separately, and they seem okay with that.
I had never had much social contact with African Americans. Both the men and the women of R.’s extended family are respectful of the fact that I have a separate relationship with M. There are very few men in R.s extended family; mostly aunts, female cousins, and children. Also, and this is weird, one of R.’s younger sisters, a very attractive girl of 17, flirts openly and blatantly with me, in front of her sister and the rest of her family. R. gets mad, and will say something to her kid sister, and everyone laughs. But . . . there’s something weird about it. It’s treated as a joke, even though it’s clearly not. It feels weird to say this, but there’s a clear vibe that they would be okay if I fucked this young girl. I certainly won’t; I’m not going to jeopardize my relationship with R. at this point; besides, the younger sister is slutty and rather unpleasant.
On the other hand, M.’s family and friends have no idea that I am with R. They assume R. is the live-in au pair. But a couple of M.’s friends suspect something, and they look at me differently. One looks at me with suspicious contempt, the other with a flirty, saucy attitude.
Women are so amusing!
R.’s family—even though they’re mostly women—are more male-chauvinistic, if that makes any sense. M.’s family and friends, more educated and certainly wealthier, are much more feminist.
On weekends, Friday and Saturday nights I’ll go out with M. alone or R. alone and show them a good time. Restaurants, a show, hanging out with their friends, whatever they want. Friday nights and Saturday nights are their nights, something I’m deliberately cultivating.
Saturday mornings are my me-time, and everyone at home knows it. The women will take the kids and leave me in the master bedroom and let me sleep until whenever I feel like it. Then I’ll go out alone and play squash with buddies, go to car shows, go to a bookstore, whatever, but always by myself. I always eat Saturday lunch by myself at some restaurant.
I get back home at 3pm on Saturday, when the kids are waking from their nap. That’s when our family weekend begins. The five of us will go to a show or a museum, or something fun for all of us. Sunday is the same.
That’s our routine. And I am thoroughly enjoying it. Work is more productive, I’m more mellow and relaxed. People are noticing it.
I’ve dropped all my other relationships, except a girl who works as an assistant with a consulting firm we hired for a project. She’s “A.”, she’s barely out of college, a real climber. We’re flirting and kissed a time or two. But I’m really not that interested in being with her. Also there’s the wife of my guy at work, my deputy. It’s an open cuck relationship I’ve had for a while. But now that I think about it, I haven’t been with her in a couple of weeks.
M. and R. satisfy me. Which kind of surprises me. I’ve always had multiple parallel relationships. Maybe I’m mellowing in my old age.
My previous concern—M.’s relationship with r.—is no longer an issue. M. sees her clearly as not a competition but an addition to our family. R. is clearly subservient in our household. Apart from the sexual and emotional bond of the three of us, R. is becoming very attached to the kids, which is crucial. M. has also been helping R. remake herself; quieter clothes, less make-up, telling her what books to read and so forth. Really acting like a big sister to R.
I very much want to breed with R.—now more than ever. But I’m waiting for at least another quarter, just to be sure. The three of us have discussed this openly. Actually, M. and I discussed it, while R. listened. I actually suggested waiting a full year before R. and I start trying. But M. said she would support us if we tried sooner.
R. has often expressed in no uncertain terms how she wants to have a child of mine. But though I want it very badly, I’m deliberately waiting for some time to pass. A child is no joke, so I need to be sure.
At this time, R. is doing everything to make the decision for me easy. I’ve given myself until the end of July. We’ll see how it goes.