Hi everybody! I'm really really new to all this so I could really use some advice.
Well my fiancé (pretty much de facto wife) just started a relationship with a guy at work about 2 weeks ago. She has flirted with exes and other friends for a long time because it is something she and I both really enjoy her doing, but this is the first time we've really stepped into actual polyamory.
So I need some advice. They spend some time alone, but she also has him come over to the apartment that she, our kid, and I share. Well that is where I need advice.
What we have done is watch Netflix, play party style video games, and other shared activities like that. When it gets a little later, I normally voluntarily go into the bedroom alone to give them a little time together, and she joins me at some point.
The problem is, I don't know exactly what THEY would ideally want. I would love to hang out as a group all the time, but I can only imagine that they, and he and particular, would like to spend some time together without me there. But, I don't think they are just gonna come out and say that, especially since he is kind of submissive.
So that leaves me in the awkward position of just hanging out with them the whole time, not knowing if that is what they really want. I feel like I could tell her this and ask her to let me know if she wants some time with him with me not there, but I think that most of the time she is fine with me being there.
But with him, I hardly know him. It would be difficult and awkward for me to tell him, "Hey, if you want me to get lost just tell me." And also, like I said, he is kinda submissive so I doubt he would speak up anyway. I have considered asking her to talk to him about this.
Any advice? Thanks!
Well my fiancé (pretty much de facto wife) just started a relationship with a guy at work about 2 weeks ago. She has flirted with exes and other friends for a long time because it is something she and I both really enjoy her doing, but this is the first time we've really stepped into actual polyamory.
So I need some advice. They spend some time alone, but she also has him come over to the apartment that she, our kid, and I share. Well that is where I need advice.
What we have done is watch Netflix, play party style video games, and other shared activities like that. When it gets a little later, I normally voluntarily go into the bedroom alone to give them a little time together, and she joins me at some point.
The problem is, I don't know exactly what THEY would ideally want. I would love to hang out as a group all the time, but I can only imagine that they, and he and particular, would like to spend some time together without me there. But, I don't think they are just gonna come out and say that, especially since he is kind of submissive.
So that leaves me in the awkward position of just hanging out with them the whole time, not knowing if that is what they really want. I feel like I could tell her this and ask her to let me know if she wants some time with him with me not there, but I think that most of the time she is fine with me being there.
But with him, I hardly know him. It would be difficult and awkward for me to tell him, "Hey, if you want me to get lost just tell me." And also, like I said, he is kinda submissive so I doubt he would speak up anyway. I have considered asking her to talk to him about this.
Any advice? Thanks!