RUourcouple
New member
It would be of help to me to have some feedback on our situation from some of you that have experienced poly more than us.
First the background. I am Mr. C and S and I have been together for over 35 years, most of them as husband and wife. 2 1/2 years ago we sat down for one of our patented heart to heart talks. We agreed that life would not stand still and we wanted to experience emotional and sexual adventures while still feeling like youngsters. We took a few tries at swinging and found that to be empty and unfulfilling. What we came to discover was our poly feelings. We wanted relationships with others and not just orgasms. Two years ago a young gentleman came into our life who was very respectful and treated me as the husband with as much respect as he did for S. After 4 months of social banter we decided it was time to take it to the next level and it became very sexual. A triad in the bedroom can be quite exciting but this was a V as he has no bi desires. We enjoyed ourselves and let the relationship grow and it has been so nice to interact with no limits or jealousies. He and I would go out for a happy hour together or him and S would spend the night together in a hotel while I kept an eye on things at home.
This all sounds very comfortable but in the last 6 months something has changed. I was fortunate enough to find an older widowed lady and started a relationship of my own. S and her younger boyfriend grew much closer and openly stated their love for each other. The three of us talked openly about it and it was a different love. S was quite clear that young boyfriend would only be that boyfriend. Her and I are until death do us part. My new girlfriend was fun and exciting until we hit the 3 month mark. She then confessed that she had fell deeply in love with me and was more mono and had no desires to share me with S. For me it was a no-brainer. New girlfriend and I broke up and the tears ensued for both of us. I returned to the V relationship with S and young boyfriend. I do not know if it is a coincidence but after that time the young boyfriend has been distant and won't even return any of my messages. S is quick to defend him that he has a busy life and just cant drop things to message me but I am talking nearly a dozen unanswered messages over a couple of months. Since then the three of us did have one meeting together and ate a meal. He informed me that he had gotten a hotel room because it had been nearly 6 weeks since we have been sexual. At least him and S. I had some hurt feelings about the lack of communication so mentioned to him that if we are to continue a relationship we need to reestablish communications or else this thing will die. He agreed but now weeks have gone by and nothing. He has told S he will be messaging me but still nothing. I explained to her that I am ready to pull the plug on this. She has no intention of ending it because according to her it is just the way relationships change over time and she still loves him.
I guess I am just venting and maybe need the therapy of writing this out to help me sort out my feelings. I don't want to be the bad guy but at times I feel like just breaking it off even if it hurts her deeply. I feel our relationship has to come first.
First the background. I am Mr. C and S and I have been together for over 35 years, most of them as husband and wife. 2 1/2 years ago we sat down for one of our patented heart to heart talks. We agreed that life would not stand still and we wanted to experience emotional and sexual adventures while still feeling like youngsters. We took a few tries at swinging and found that to be empty and unfulfilling. What we came to discover was our poly feelings. We wanted relationships with others and not just orgasms. Two years ago a young gentleman came into our life who was very respectful and treated me as the husband with as much respect as he did for S. After 4 months of social banter we decided it was time to take it to the next level and it became very sexual. A triad in the bedroom can be quite exciting but this was a V as he has no bi desires. We enjoyed ourselves and let the relationship grow and it has been so nice to interact with no limits or jealousies. He and I would go out for a happy hour together or him and S would spend the night together in a hotel while I kept an eye on things at home.
This all sounds very comfortable but in the last 6 months something has changed. I was fortunate enough to find an older widowed lady and started a relationship of my own. S and her younger boyfriend grew much closer and openly stated their love for each other. The three of us talked openly about it and it was a different love. S was quite clear that young boyfriend would only be that boyfriend. Her and I are until death do us part. My new girlfriend was fun and exciting until we hit the 3 month mark. She then confessed that she had fell deeply in love with me and was more mono and had no desires to share me with S. For me it was a no-brainer. New girlfriend and I broke up and the tears ensued for both of us. I returned to the V relationship with S and young boyfriend. I do not know if it is a coincidence but after that time the young boyfriend has been distant and won't even return any of my messages. S is quick to defend him that he has a busy life and just cant drop things to message me but I am talking nearly a dozen unanswered messages over a couple of months. Since then the three of us did have one meeting together and ate a meal. He informed me that he had gotten a hotel room because it had been nearly 6 weeks since we have been sexual. At least him and S. I had some hurt feelings about the lack of communication so mentioned to him that if we are to continue a relationship we need to reestablish communications or else this thing will die. He agreed but now weeks have gone by and nothing. He has told S he will be messaging me but still nothing. I explained to her that I am ready to pull the plug on this. She has no intention of ending it because according to her it is just the way relationships change over time and she still loves him.
I guess I am just venting and maybe need the therapy of writing this out to help me sort out my feelings. I don't want to be the bad guy but at times I feel like just breaking it off even if it hurts her deeply. I feel our relationship has to come first.