MrsLookingForAdvice
New member
Two nights ago my husband confided in me that he wants to have a poylamorous relationship. This is a topic that I have thought about in the past but never really explored. This is also (until just the other night) the exact opposite of all of the feelings and views he has ever expressed. He has always been pretty possessive and very jealous. He claims that it was him just trying to be something he wasn't (manogomous) and over-reacting because of it. He claims that now that he is being honest with himself, and getting in touch with himself, and that now he is feeling much more secure in our relationship. He is also okay with both of us having a separate partner if we happen to find somebody we connect with.
I know that he still loves me, but I can't help feeling a little insecure about this sudden mindset shift. I am trying to be open minded about it. I just fear that if/when he starts seeing somebody else that I won't be able to process it well. Or that he wouldn't handle it well if I were to start seeing somebody else (which is something he says he would be totally fine with, and I am not 100% opposed to but not sure if I am ready for that either). Is that something we would be able to work through, or come back from, if we decided it wasn't working for one or both of us?
He has had a lot more time to think on this than I have and I am just trying to process it. We have established some ground rules and both reserve the right to amend these rules if the need ever arises. Any advise on making this transition a tad easier would be greatly appreciated.
I know that he still loves me, but I can't help feeling a little insecure about this sudden mindset shift. I am trying to be open minded about it. I just fear that if/when he starts seeing somebody else that I won't be able to process it well. Or that he wouldn't handle it well if I were to start seeing somebody else (which is something he says he would be totally fine with, and I am not 100% opposed to but not sure if I am ready for that either). Is that something we would be able to work through, or come back from, if we decided it wasn't working for one or both of us?
He has had a lot more time to think on this than I have and I am just trying to process it. We have established some ground rules and both reserve the right to amend these rules if the need ever arises. Any advise on making this transition a tad easier would be greatly appreciated.
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