PinkPig
Well-known member
So I need to feel special, I need to feel I can't be replaced, I'm not interchangeable with anyone. I didn't know the sentiment is so strong in me. When I see people here writing about something being special, I'm often like "what's the big deal? " I thought my jealousy was mostly a fight for resources, but this seems closer to the root.
It's not even like fear (of being replaced), it's really a much more pure and ...joyous... feeling than that. A desire of being unique, and being unique to someone.
And I don't think he's neglecting my special traits or worse taking me as less than human. It's just... my conflict (with polyamory maybe).
Does it follow that I need to be the only one? I don't know.
I have this need, too. And, I agree, that it was this need that was stronger in me than any jealousy, fear of replacement or demotion, or insecurity that I have. I can share space or resources, I just don't want to feel like a number, or an interchangeable part. And, honestly, why would I want to be with anyone who did see me as interchangeable and not unique? I want authentic relationships and how can a relationship be authentic....how can the person know and love me if I'm just a number?
What I'm working on is separating that part of me that wishes to be valued for the unique person that I am from my ego that wants to compare me with others in order to validate that I am unique and worthy. This validation isn't necessary. Every person is unique and worthy in his/her own way, if for no other reason than the fact that we exist. Some may not be the right people for me to relationship with...but that doesn't make them any less unique or worthy of love. In the same vein, I'm working on discarding applying labels to people. While it is easier to classify people with labels, in my opinion, it devalues the person to do so and it limits my experience of the person.