StumblingAlong
New member
So I had a previous blog here. I have decided to leave it be and focus more on where I am in my life. Basically use this as my journal. I'm sure some relationship stuff will come up but this is to help me sort through what I'm feeling and get my thoughts out.
I guess the best place to start is to describe me. I'm a married mom of 2 (15 & 10) I am bi and polyamorous. I am married to a wonderful man that loves me as I am for who I am. I'm so incredibly thankful for him. He and I have been through quite a lot together over the years. Currently we are in a triad that at this moment seems to be failing. I very much am also in love with "Mustang" who is in this triad with us.
I have learned that while I am bi and in love with Infinity I do naturally tend to be attracted more to women. This is a not necessarily a new discovery, but is more so newly admitted to myself about. I have not yet discussed this with Infinity, because I'm not yet sure how to broach the subject with the current state of things in our triad.
Previously Infinity and I were in a quad that failed. Infinity and I ended up separating due to issuse in our marriage. I continued with the couple from our quad and we became a triad. It lasted around 6 months before it ended. 3 months after that Infinity and I reconciled and spent the next 5 years working on our marriage. We put in some MAJOR work and once we were in a good place for a while we decided to open our marriage again. Once we did we discovered a few issues that we thought were fully handled but have risen to the surface some. They are being worked through now. They are not major and can be handled with some work and time.
The state of our current triad with Mustang is in limbo. We are all deciding exactly what it is we want, need, and what we feel is best for us all. I have done a lot of soul searching and been very brutally honest with myself. I have had to admit and accept some things about me and my sexuality (?sp). I know what I want now and am having to cultivate patience while I wait on them to figure out what it is exactly that they want, need, and can handle.
I personally want the 3 of us together as a family. I know triads are hard and take a lot of work. I see how amazing the 3 of us could be doing life together as a single family unit. I know that may not happen. If it doesn't happen then I still want Infinity and Mustang as my partners. I know a V type relationship is not necessarily easier but I know it is doable. In that scenario I would be the hinge and would have to work at learning how to handle that. It would leave me with 2 separate families both needing me and my time and attention. I am up for that challenge if it is presented. Both Infinity and Mustang know what my wants and needs are. I have made them very plainly known.
The hard part for me right now is the just having to wait. While I'm a fairly patient person I do have my limits. I also have made my mind up and once I have made my mind up I go after what I want. It's hard for me to sit back and wait on someone else to make a decision.
I guess the best place to start is to describe me. I'm a married mom of 2 (15 & 10) I am bi and polyamorous. I am married to a wonderful man that loves me as I am for who I am. I'm so incredibly thankful for him. He and I have been through quite a lot together over the years. Currently we are in a triad that at this moment seems to be failing. I very much am also in love with "Mustang" who is in this triad with us.
I have learned that while I am bi and in love with Infinity I do naturally tend to be attracted more to women. This is a not necessarily a new discovery, but is more so newly admitted to myself about. I have not yet discussed this with Infinity, because I'm not yet sure how to broach the subject with the current state of things in our triad.
Previously Infinity and I were in a quad that failed. Infinity and I ended up separating due to issuse in our marriage. I continued with the couple from our quad and we became a triad. It lasted around 6 months before it ended. 3 months after that Infinity and I reconciled and spent the next 5 years working on our marriage. We put in some MAJOR work and once we were in a good place for a while we decided to open our marriage again. Once we did we discovered a few issues that we thought were fully handled but have risen to the surface some. They are being worked through now. They are not major and can be handled with some work and time.
The state of our current triad with Mustang is in limbo. We are all deciding exactly what it is we want, need, and what we feel is best for us all. I have done a lot of soul searching and been very brutally honest with myself. I have had to admit and accept some things about me and my sexuality (?sp). I know what I want now and am having to cultivate patience while I wait on them to figure out what it is exactly that they want, need, and can handle.
I personally want the 3 of us together as a family. I know triads are hard and take a lot of work. I see how amazing the 3 of us could be doing life together as a single family unit. I know that may not happen. If it doesn't happen then I still want Infinity and Mustang as my partners. I know a V type relationship is not necessarily easier but I know it is doable. In that scenario I would be the hinge and would have to work at learning how to handle that. It would leave me with 2 separate families both needing me and my time and attention. I am up for that challenge if it is presented. Both Infinity and Mustang know what my wants and needs are. I have made them very plainly known.
The hard part for me right now is the just having to wait. While I'm a fairly patient person I do have my limits. I also have made my mind up and once I have made my mind up I go after what I want. It's hard for me to sit back and wait on someone else to make a decision.