Karma
New member
Hi Dinged, I'm Karma. I'm married to Mohegan, and I was in a romantic relationship with Cricket, although right now were are just friends. I've followed along on this thread, and I suggest you ask Mo some of your questions in a private message - to me, it seems like a lot of the underlying emotions you are dealing with are the same ones she dealt with when we started down this road, and I'm willing to bet that her perspective would be helpful for you, as she's neither "new" to this, nor have we been poly for years and years - more of a "middle of the road" viewpoint as far as the things we've been through, and the stuff we haven't yet.
Some background-
Mo and I had been married for three years (roughly) when I started a string of affairs behind her back. The reasons were multiple, and while I'm NOT justifying my actions, I will state that the root of my cheating was caused by both of us. I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship with the other women, I just wanted sex.
Then I met Cricket, and my whole world changed
I had no intention of falling in love with her, but I did. I kept our relationship secret for months, but eventually I told my wife that I was in love with another woman - but also with her. I was extremely confused... she was actually far more accepting of it that I was, until she found out about all the other affairs, and that Cricket and I had slept together as well. That's when she started going through a of of the same emotions you seem to be going through. (This is my opinion, I am not about to tell someone that I *know* what's going on in their head better than they do, and if I'm wrong please feel free to correct me.)
I really feel that she'd be a good person to talk to, as she didn't really want to dive into this polyamory thing as much as I kinda jumped in and dragged her with me She's discovered along the way that she really doesn't have any issues with it, so long as I'm not being an asshole and sleeping with random women behind her back... can't really balme her for not being OK with that, now can I?
BTW, as far as the internet goes.... I am the most sarcastic, blunt person ever. As a result, I LIVE AND DIE by smiley emoticons, qoutation marks, pharentisis (however you spell that), ect. Due to my charming combination of sarcasm and bluntness, I invariably piss people off accidentally if I don't use them. Just something to consider to avoid future misunderstandings with people... text absolutely fails to convey non-verbal things like sarcasm without a lot of assistance
I wish you luck with your journey here. It does get better, trust me. And there's not a damn thing wrong with you feeling the way you do right now, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Some background-
Mo and I had been married for three years (roughly) when I started a string of affairs behind her back. The reasons were multiple, and while I'm NOT justifying my actions, I will state that the root of my cheating was caused by both of us. I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship with the other women, I just wanted sex.
Then I met Cricket, and my whole world changed
I had no intention of falling in love with her, but I did. I kept our relationship secret for months, but eventually I told my wife that I was in love with another woman - but also with her. I was extremely confused... she was actually far more accepting of it that I was, until she found out about all the other affairs, and that Cricket and I had slept together as well. That's when she started going through a of of the same emotions you seem to be going through. (This is my opinion, I am not about to tell someone that I *know* what's going on in their head better than they do, and if I'm wrong please feel free to correct me.)
I really feel that she'd be a good person to talk to, as she didn't really want to dive into this polyamory thing as much as I kinda jumped in and dragged her with me She's discovered along the way that she really doesn't have any issues with it, so long as I'm not being an asshole and sleeping with random women behind her back... can't really balme her for not being OK with that, now can I?
BTW, as far as the internet goes.... I am the most sarcastic, blunt person ever. As a result, I LIVE AND DIE by smiley emoticons, qoutation marks, pharentisis (however you spell that), ect. Due to my charming combination of sarcasm and bluntness, I invariably piss people off accidentally if I don't use them. Just something to consider to avoid future misunderstandings with people... text absolutely fails to convey non-verbal things like sarcasm without a lot of assistance
I wish you luck with your journey here. It does get better, trust me. And there's not a damn thing wrong with you feeling the way you do right now, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.