Sex with the metamour on a day that was planned for me?

Kerala

New member
My loved one went off to my metamour on a day that was actually planned just for the two of us, sex including. However metamour put up drama and loved one felt forced to go over for two hours to bring him down. Now I am wondering
a) did they had sex? - wonderful way for calming down a man
b) am I allowed / is it a good idea to ask if they did?
c) does it matter for me at all - will it hamper her ability to have sex with me on the same day or is it just not my business?

The two of them have a quite new relationship and thus it is no wonder that they have sex nearly on every occasion they see each other. I can cope with that in general as long as there remains a fair share for me (which might be just a third of what they have). It that doesn't happen I tend to get in a quite bad mood and are plainly obnoxious.
 
I'd be more worried about the drama from the metamour and the fact that your lover chose not to respect the pre-existing plans of having a full day with you than the sex. These would be the red flags for me in this situation:
  • metamour having a problem with her spending time with you
  • her allowing his drama to ruin your day together
I would not be worried about the sex - but that is just me.
 
That's right in way, surely. But it was not the qutestion ;-)

The number of occasions where his drama is being accepted is already closing. This applies to me and to our hinge as well. And he was urged enought to seek for professional - appointment is already made.
 
I think you might be overthinking a tad. :) How about you just wait and see how your date with her goes? If sex happens naturally, and you both have fun in spite of their earlier drama then all is well. If she indicates that she's not in the mood any longer for sex because she had sex with metamour earlier, then you know that is a potential source of conflict and can act accordingly. I'm not sure you gain anything by asking her outright in advance if she had sex with him other than raising the tension between you and her perhaps unnecessarily and maybe blowing the situation out of proportion.
 
thanks tenK. Turns out, it was the right way to go ;-)
 
My loved one went off to my metamour on a day that was actually planned just for the two of us, sex including. However metamour put up drama and loved one felt forced to go over for two hours to bring him down. Now I am wondering
a) did they had sex? - wonderful way for calming down a man
b) am I allowed / is it a good idea to ask if they did?
c) does it matter for me at all - will it hamper her ability to have sex with me on the same day or is it just not my business?

The two of them have a quite new relationship and thus it is no wonder that they have sex nearly on every occasion they see each other. I can cope with that in general as long as there remains a fair share for me (which might be just a third of what they have). It that doesn't happen I tend to get in a quite bad mood and are plainly obnoxious.

I really try not to do the counting thing. So "she had sex with him yesterday, so its my turn today etc" as I have found that overall it balances out. So if their was a crisis for her partner it was probably right for her to see him. We have experienced the same both ways. Wolf has had a crisis so Angel went to see him even though we had thought she would be spending the day with me. I wasn't well so Angel spent the night at home with me instead of spending the night with Wolf. It happens. Its only a problem if it becomes a pattern.
 
Nate has sex with others same day as me, doesn't bother me at all. The only time I've been bothered is when he was refusing to have sex with me because he was mad but them he went out and had sex with someone else.
 
Nate has sex with others same day as me, doesn't bother me at all.

Me neither. When our V became a permanent thing I was concerned that Wolf would "steal" my sex time and because Angel was having sex with Wolf there would be less for me. That didn't happen. Just like he didn't steal any of Angel's love for me.
 
Thanks for all those great comments. It's a help really. It's my first thread and I love that forum already :)

And yes, I agree - in general it's true that my part of the cake didn't get smaller, just the cake got bigger in many areas, in terms of sex a LOT even. Therefore, countint really doesn't make sense.
I just wasn't sure how much time a woman needs from one occasion to the next and being really passionate there. nycindies comment gives a wonderful hint for this concern.
 
How much sex can one woman have in one day? Depends on the sex and the woman.

If the sex with one partner was extremely active, vigorous and long lasting (and involved some impact play such as spanking or flogging), say it lasted 2 -3 hours, I am good for some less vigorous sex with another partner later in the day. But then if my third partner wants to see me the next day, also for 2 hours of vigorous intense kinky sex, I am gonna be tired! Happy but exhausted hehe.

This happened to me a month or so ago. Not an ideal scenario. But fun in a way! I think I rose to the challenge.

Even guys who normally take a while to reload with one partner after sex, can and do find themselves aroused if another partner arrives on the scene. This has been proven with rats. Male rats will fuck one girl rat, begin to rest, but then become aroused and fuck if another fertile female is introduced. And repeat this until he is near dead with exhaustion, female after female.

Good old hormones.
 
I think it depends on the woman. I don't need much, if any, down time or recovery time between partners. I do like to have some space to clear the energy though - I want to be focused on the guy I am with, not the one that just left. My ideal, I think, would be sex at least 3 times a day - if I could have a couple of vigorous sessions and one calmer one. Most days I get it once. That is ok though. If I go more than a day I start feeling unsettled and unhappy.
 
My experience is that women can be unbelievably amazing in this respect as pointed out by the last couple of posts. With hindsight I would say that the worry about too little sex in a V or similar relationship is an unnecessary worry, IF everything else in the relationship is going well.

I believe my partners polyamoury has significantly enhanced our sex life not diminished it.
 
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