BellatrixLestrange
New member
I had some difficulties in my teenage years which sent me slightly off the rails; I don't really fancy sharing details here and it doesn't have much relevance now, but it did leave me with severe depression which was later diagnosed as bipolar.
I had multiple relationships through my 20s and 30s, I was married twice and engaged a further three times. A traditional Serial Monogamist!
By 31 my second marriage was coming to an end and I started to look inwards to find out why. It was never that I fell out of love with my partner, I still love each and every one of them in one way or another, but it was more that I just would go through low periods and then would need something new in my life.
I tried therapy for sex addiction because people told me that's what I needed. It never worked. I was not a sex addict. I ama love addict. I realized I am addicted to meeting and falling for people and love the way that they enrich my life.
For 5 years now I have been in a poly relationship and am at the happiest I've ever been. I still really enjoy intense meaningful relationships but I love that bubbly feeling when it's all new. NRE is the best drug available.
Buuuuuuuuuut I seem to be hurting my existing partners with it....
Now I noticed this about myself when it happened once before. As my mood dips up and down so does my image of myself and the image I project. When I'm low I still really enjoy my existing relationships and feel immensely close to them. I love the fact that they know me so well and are my best friends, I love the fact that I can be open and honest with them and they are there for me when I am at my lowest and needing them. I know that's not fair of me and I shouldn't be needy but I try to be honest with all new partners as and when I meet them. When I am at my best I project a much happier version of myself - every new partner I have met has been while feeling great about myself.
And it's a self perpetuating thing where the NRE that ensues makes me feel even better! It has an affect on my behavior - I end up feeling such love in my heart, feeling closer to my existing partners, new partners, even strangers I meet, and above all I love myself during these times.
Now the first time I noticed this I met 3 partners in a very short space of time, 2 of which have lasted to this day. Then the second time I got stuck into this happy cycle was just over the last few months - I got very bubbly inside and met 2 lovely new people.
My existing partners want me to slow down a bit. My guy (who is sort of my primary, for want of a better word for it) says the number doesn't matter to him but he can't keep pace with the change and adjust to it all mentally. My girl just can't cope with it, for her 4 partners total is too many and she has concerns over time.
Is this reaction to NRE common? Feeling like you go bubbly inside and get drugged up on love to the point of being oblivious to the world around you? To the point where you fall hard for all these amazing new people (and fall even harder still for the wonderful best friends and partners who supported me through the hardest times).
If it is common then how do you support your partners with the rapid pace of change? The massive peaks and troughs are something I have learnt to cope with and the drugs generally keep me on the level. But I need them to understand how euphoric NRE is for me when I am feeling good
I had multiple relationships through my 20s and 30s, I was married twice and engaged a further three times. A traditional Serial Monogamist!
By 31 my second marriage was coming to an end and I started to look inwards to find out why. It was never that I fell out of love with my partner, I still love each and every one of them in one way or another, but it was more that I just would go through low periods and then would need something new in my life.
I tried therapy for sex addiction because people told me that's what I needed. It never worked. I was not a sex addict. I ama love addict. I realized I am addicted to meeting and falling for people and love the way that they enrich my life.
For 5 years now I have been in a poly relationship and am at the happiest I've ever been. I still really enjoy intense meaningful relationships but I love that bubbly feeling when it's all new. NRE is the best drug available.
Buuuuuuuuuut I seem to be hurting my existing partners with it....
Now I noticed this about myself when it happened once before. As my mood dips up and down so does my image of myself and the image I project. When I'm low I still really enjoy my existing relationships and feel immensely close to them. I love the fact that they know me so well and are my best friends, I love the fact that I can be open and honest with them and they are there for me when I am at my lowest and needing them. I know that's not fair of me and I shouldn't be needy but I try to be honest with all new partners as and when I meet them. When I am at my best I project a much happier version of myself - every new partner I have met has been while feeling great about myself.
And it's a self perpetuating thing where the NRE that ensues makes me feel even better! It has an affect on my behavior - I end up feeling such love in my heart, feeling closer to my existing partners, new partners, even strangers I meet, and above all I love myself during these times.
Now the first time I noticed this I met 3 partners in a very short space of time, 2 of which have lasted to this day. Then the second time I got stuck into this happy cycle was just over the last few months - I got very bubbly inside and met 2 lovely new people.
My existing partners want me to slow down a bit. My guy (who is sort of my primary, for want of a better word for it) says the number doesn't matter to him but he can't keep pace with the change and adjust to it all mentally. My girl just can't cope with it, for her 4 partners total is too many and she has concerns over time.
Is this reaction to NRE common? Feeling like you go bubbly inside and get drugged up on love to the point of being oblivious to the world around you? To the point where you fall hard for all these amazing new people (and fall even harder still for the wonderful best friends and partners who supported me through the hardest times).
If it is common then how do you support your partners with the rapid pace of change? The massive peaks and troughs are something I have learnt to cope with and the drugs generally keep me on the level. But I need them to understand how euphoric NRE is for me when I am feeling good