Spork
Active member
Then you're hanging out with the wrong men. I only date guys who are sapiosexual. I don't answer men on OK Cupid who only comment on my looks. (I actually block them so they can't gaze upon my beauty anymore.) And right now, today, I got messaged by 2 men who actually mentioned my interests instead of just my looks! True, this rarely happens, but most men on OKC are wankers. I reckon most of the good ones with a bit of brains and decency are already partnered, or married, or gay.
But one of these 2 guys actually asked me if I thought men could ever be attracted to a woman's mind, instead of just her looks and how she feels. Because he is sapiosexual, but he didn't know if women would believe him that a man even could be that.
To illustrate this...and a friend said that thing about how my upbringing primed me to receive these messages from the environment, but jeebus effing cripes they are just EVERYWHERE, yeesh!...
There was an article on Facebook about two side by side magazines, "A Girl's Life" and "A Boy's Life" (Here is the article: http://www.kveller.com/this-one-photo-shows-everything-thats-wrong-with-girls-vs-boys-magazines/ ) and the main point is...the boy's magazine talks about career choices, actually DOING THINGS...the girl's magazine is covered with "how to be pretty" headlines. It's a damn stupid thing to be upset about at the age of 37, when you're a woman who loves making art and doing taxes and building things. But the part of me I feel least in control of is how I look. So I'm not going to bend myself out of shape trying, spending money I don't have to attain a standard I can't meet, when I really like myself a lot on the inside.
I just don't expect anyone else to. And I often have a hard time understanding why anyone around me likes me at all...which then leads me to questioning whether they really do.
I'm trying to undo the knots on 36 years of endlessly repeated and reinforced messages from not just "the media" telling me how girls are supposed to be or whatever, but the patterns and behaviors of everyone around me pretty much my whole life. I hit bumps in that road sometimes. But I'm still in the game.