Is there a word for....

LostPixie

New member
Is there a word for "hopeful for your happiness to increase, but also feeling left behind."

Jealous doesn't fit. Envy doesn't fit.

it's not compersion per say. More like compersion for their hopefulness, mixed with longing for something that almost might have been.

bitersweet. but big.

(this is currently also entangled with lots of other feels about other things, but I want to be able to explain that it's not "jealousy" that I'm feeling...)

Background: there's a couple guys I've had an open flirtationship with for a month or so, no expectations beyond supportive friendship and honesty, but with strong attraction and affection. They both are recently persuing relationships that would reduce their amount/ extent of affectioning with me to pretty much just supportive friends. At least for awhile.

I'm glad they are finding more consistent happiness, but also going to miss the closeness. Then again, I went into this figuring sooner or later they would drift away from me, since none of us were really looking for solid relationships, and (sometimes at my own fault) eventually everyone does. Just kinda hoped it wouldn't be so soon I guess.
 
Sounds like the Slavs would have a word for that.

Leetah
 
Melancholy, perhaps?

And yes, this seems like something the Slavs would have a word for.

I bet somewhere in India there is a word for this. They already had a word for compersion - mudita.
 
How about wistful?
 
Sounds like compersion and heartbreak simultaneously.
 
Hmmm. Whistful, melancholic compersion.

That's pretty close!!! I'm cool with a non-english word if it fits closely, if anyone has one.
 
Could always invent a new word. How about "mellon-ersion" who ever said polyamoury didn't have enough words, no really who has ever said that ;-P :) joking aside, hope you feel better soon, look after yourself :)
 
Sounds too like there might be elements of restlessness and contact-hunger.

Reminds me of this thing... So I'm never 100% sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. I mean, mostly I think I'm an extrovert. But if my inner introvert's needs are not met (quiet alone time at home) then I feel exhausted and stretched thin. If my inner extrovert's needs aren't met (I'm home alone too long with no one to spend time with and nothing to do) then I feel restless and agitated and lonely. I say that I am like a ghost haunting my apartment. All loose ends, and don't feel like settling to any task.

Sometimes it's alright to write or speak it out, there does not need to be a single word that defines the state we are in...but maybe that is also just me, because I love to read and write and speak and listen. (This girl hates Twitter. Character limits are limiting.)
 
Sounds too like there might be elements of restlessness and contact-hunger.

Reminds me of this thing... So I'm never 100% sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. I mean, mostly I think I'm an extrovert. But if my inner introvert's needs are not met (quiet alone time at home) then I feel exhausted and stretched thin. If my inner extrovert's needs aren't met (I'm home alone too long with no one to spend time with and nothing to do) then I feel restless and agitated and lonely. I say that I am like a ghost haunting my apartment. All loose ends, and don't feel like settling to any task.

Sometimes it's alright to write or speak it out, there does not need to be a single word that defines the state we are in...but maybe that is also just me, because I love to read and write and speak and listen. (This girl hates Twitter. Character limits are limiting.)

I would have to agree on the restless/ contact hunger. For a few weeks I've been more hungry for affectionate contact than I usually have been for the last many months. I find myself to be highly extroverted, to the point where I sometimes get lost on my own without going anywhere. Similar to what you described, ghosting about through tasks.

Life can be so odd.
 
another approximate analogy:

Auditioning as understudy for a co-lead role. Allowing yourself to dream of maybe taking the co-lead role someday, while reminding the directors you're only comfortable being an understudy. Then being cast to stagehand.

I'm better in offstage supportive roles anyway. I suppose.

(One is overwhelmed in adjustments and barely talks with me, while the other is being supportive friend. Feels are all over the place.)
 
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