Seeking Confirmation or a Wake-Up Call

Yeah I know you weren't. Difficult truths usually feel that way though. Regardless of how things pan out, the conversations here really are soothing to come back to. Just a few years ago, I never would've thought a forum like this would made me feel comfortable lol.
 
I just wanted to update those of you who helped talk me through the situations I was facing. The conversation leading up to our friend and I ceasing communication again were... unpleasant, painful. Unlike our original break-up, there was no, "Yeah, this is for the best." Rather, there was a lot of venting on her front, and I gave her that without argument. We haven't spoken since.

My wife has continued to withdraw into herself, and I'm letting her for now. I need introspection badly, and if she isn't withdrawn, she continues the process of intermingling our emotions and thoughts to an unhealthy level. My psychiatrist believes that the panic attacks I'd been suffering might not be panic attacks. I'm seeing a neurologist tomorrow for seizures. I'm not sure which is worse. I don't know anything about these sorts of things. Either way, I've also got my first therapist appointment on the 11th, so we'll see how things progress there.

At this point, looking at the whole of things that's happened, I find myself struggling to handle loving my wife. Not struggling to love her, but... the demands she put on me during our triad, the things she said and told me, it hurt our friend and I a lot. To this day, she equates my missing her with when I felt bad some of our fish died. Living with her is a constant balance of realizing what is real, and what is imagined, and then reacting accordingly. Hearing that an abundance of stress could be the cause of my physical reactions, and that essentially, living with my wife could be causing me to have seizures... That's a lot to process.

Again, I'm not trying to dredge up a dead topic, but wanted to let people know what's happening now. I've been off the forums a while now, with all this going on, but I'm still thankful for all the open minds and ears here.
 
Thanks for updating us. I am sorry that things have not been going well for you. First U being angry with you, then M causing you to have seizures. That is hard to bear. I hope your therapist will be able to help you with these problems. Meanwhile, do not hesitate to turn to the forum here for help. We can lend you an open mind and a listening ear.
 
It's good to hear from you.

I'm sorry parting with U as friends was more hard than parting with U as dating partners. :(

At least that part of the puzzle is solved and you don't have to do it again. Maybe not the most graceful way to lighten the load, but lighter.

My wife has continued to withdraw into herself, and I'm letting her for now. I need introspection badly, and if she isn't withdrawn, she continues the process of intermingling our emotions and thoughts to an unhealthy level.

Glad you are more able to see that when she does that. Sounds like you are trying to detach a little bit and not get triggered and drawn into "circle conversations" with wife that go nowhere.

My psychiatrist believes that the panic attacks I'd been suffering might not be panic attacks. I'm seeing a neurologist tomorrow for seizures. I'm not sure which is worse. I don't know anything about these sorts of things. Either way, I've also got my first therapist appointment on the 11th, so we'll see how things progress there.

I asked my mom go see a counselor and she did. Because it is HIGH STRESS to live with a challenging patient. I thought she was starting to have some PTSD weirdness.

I'm glad you are seeing YOUR health people and making YOUR health a priority. I hope you get some more information from the neuro to see what it is your are dealing with. Panic attack? Seizure? Both? Something else?

I can only imagine how the "don't know yet" must feel like. :(

At this point, looking at the whole of things that's happened, I find myself struggling to handle loving my wife. Not struggling to love her, but... the demands she put on me during our triad, the things she said and told me, it hurt our friend and I a lot. To this day, she equates my missing her with when I felt bad some of our fish died. Living with her is a constant balance of realizing what is real, and what is imagined, and then reacting accordingly. Hearing that an abundance of stress could be the cause of my physical reactions, and that essentially, living with my wife could be causing me to have seizures... That's a lot to process.

Yes. Living with some patients is rough. Like every day you wake up and go "Alright. What planet are we on TODAY?"

With my father every day I see him it's like "Alright. Who am I today? Teen Galagirl? Adult Galagirl? Not even Galagirl -- just some woman who showed up at his house?" His mind is not always steady.

It's really rough on the caregiver. I am very glad to hear you have gotten some of your own medical support team together and are looking out for YOUR health more. It's pretty common for the caregiver to burn out, struggle with depression, etc. I hope you get more support.

It's ok to talk here if you need to. Glad to hear it is of some comfort.

Galagirl
 
Back
Top