So Magdyln. what is the issue then, if you are good to go then why the disappointment in them saying that you and they are not allowed to fall in love... it sounds like its the furthest thing from your mind anyways. Shouldn't you be all good to go... everything on board, no fear of being hurt and misunderstood. Fill your boots. What does it matter if you aren't into them emotionally anyways.
I don't get it.
OK, RP, you'd help me more if you could calm down and stop jumping to conclusions based quite so much on your own experiences. I appreciate you sharing where you, specifically, come from (or your friend below), but, there are infinite sexualities and ways of approaching desire and emotions, even within a poly or non-mono context.
I did not say I wasn't into this couple emotionally. It is too soon to tell either way. In fact, I've only briefly chatted with each of them, about an hour total each. It's too soon to tell if I will feel warm feelings for them. So far they seem intelligent, and the man is funny and charming, as far as I can tell. The woman seemed more reserved and cautious, as women often do. They both seem to have very strong libidos and stamina, as I do, which is necessary for me to consider someone as a partner.
There are several factors at work here. I am pansexual, and was in a straight, mostly vanilla marriage for a long long LONGASS time. I am eager simply to experience playing with a cis-gendered woman's body (besides my own). However, I have not overtly pursued women on okc. I was wondering why outloud to my gf the other night. Maybe she fulfills my desire for women quite a bit, even tho her genitalia dont match the gender in her head. Then again, women I have approached, and even those who have messaged me, so often bail on our conversations once actually meeting seems imminent.
So... when an eager offer came this way for me, of course I was interested. This couple told me they have been unsatisfied with the unicorns they have found lately. Most have been "crazy," or "passively bi" and unwilling or unable to return oral pleasure to the woman. I like to think I am the opposite on both counts.
All that being said, I haven't heard from either of them in a couple days, so I just send a PM to the man to see if they've lost interest. Maybe I scared them off by daring to bring up the subject of emotions and the L-word. I hope not. They both seemed to want at least friendship.
I'm not sure what you mean by the age thing Derby. It was a long lull that lead me to where I am now with sex. I was a slutty whore in my earlier years. Magdyln seems to be the opposite.
I had 10 sex partners before I met my ex-h at age 19, and 2 love affairs. I would never call myself a slutty whore (except as dirty pillow talk). I was part of the sexual revolution of the early 70s: "if it feels good, do it," "make love, not war," "love the one you're with," and all that jazz. It suited me. (I'm genderqueer, remember, and a lot like a man in many ways.) Meeting my ex and jumping right into monogamy (at his request and against some of my better judgment) was perhaps a mistake for me, in hindsight. Now, I am just picking up where I left off at age 19. With a lifetime's worth of wisdom and evolving self knowledge on top.
And I am just a very horny girl. I like a lot of sex. One of the benefits of being poly, for me, is getting lots of sex. There, I said it. OKC gives me a way to meet intelligent, respectful, attractive people for dates, good conversation, laughs, and (hopefully) good sex.
I am not sure age has anything to do with it... I purposely waited to have a child so I could continue to sow my wild oats... even if I was married. I have a friend born on the same day and year as me. She is now on the dating scene as her kids are out of the house... she had them when she was in highschool. She is not anywhere near a slut and thinks like I do... quality, not quantity. Not even a balance of both. It makes it hard for her to date. She was raising kids during her years where she felt like being more loose. I think it's more personality and what life dishes out for you... what you pick too, than age and sluttiness.
sorry for this hyjack, maybe I should break this off into a new thread if Magdyln is in agreement?
Fine by me, and we already have a thread on casual sex. Maybe add more of your thoughts there?