New to Forum and Polyamory

AJLash1

New member
I thought I'd just introduce myself here.
My name is Amber and I live in southern California.
My current situation can be described probably as a triangle poly fidelity relationship.
I've been married to one woman for six years. When we first started dating, she mentioned to me that she gets bored easily...so I half expected her to come to me one day and request some time with another person. The other half of me expected this to never happen. But! It did.
A couple of months ago, she suggested that we introduce someone else for purely sexual purposes...however she suggested her ex-fiance. At first, I was outraged and upset. Then she explained that with her ex being on the other side of the country, it would keep things less emotional and more detached. She explained it like pie:
She loves apple pie and wants to spend the rest of her life with apple pie; but, she doesn't want to only ever eat apple pie ever again. She'd like some blackberry pie, too.
Also, my wife has never had certain experiences that I have had and she was afraid that she would never get to experience those things. Not to mention, she'd rather do them with me than behind my back carrying on an affair.

So be it then. I said I'd talk to the ex and get to know her.

And boom...a month later she flies in from across the country and I fell hard for her.
Within another month, feelings have exploded and we begin to talk about being girlfriends which of course led to my wife wanting her ex to be exclusive with only us. Which of course, the ex agreed to because my wife is the one woman she would be mono for. But, she gets me in the bargain, the softer, less critical side who understands and doesn't pass judgement...so it's pretty much a double win for everyone all around.

So now that you know the back story:
I'm here because she still lives across the country and every day I miss her more. I have my wife here and I love her very much. She's my apple pie and always will be. But, my blackberry pie is missing and my heart breaks when I think of her all the way over there alone with only skype, calls, and texts to keep her barely content with the situation. She plans to move out here next year so that we can start to really implement her into the family...but missing her has become so hard because feelings have taken flight.

I don't want to tell her that I love her until she's here again at the end of next month, but keeping that from her is tearing me up inside and I'm not entirely sure what to do. Regardless, I'm happier than I've ever been.

Anyway... that's pretty much it in a nutshell. I don't expect anyone to respond to this post. And I'm aware that advice forums are for another section so please don't think I'm asking for advice just yet. I just wanted those who read this to know where I'm currently at.

So glad there's a support forum for poly, new to poly, people.
 
Greetings Amber,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Thank you for sharing your story; sounds like 2016 has turned out to be a hard (but good) year for you. I hope the days will go by reasonably quickly so that "Blackberry" can start living with you.

If/when the time comes that you do seek some advice, we'll try to help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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