DsmEvolution
New member
A little back history. In a relationship of now almost 14 years (Same sex male couple), my alpha. To my side, I have what can only be described as a beta. Wasn't intentional, but we both enjoy it. My Alpha knows about him and he calls him my boyfriend and they're even pretty friendly with each other, get along well, and there's no jealousy issues. It's really quite nice. My beta, we'll call him Louis. Louis is 25 years old, highly intelligent and mature, but he's also Aspberger's Spectrum Autistic. This doesn't bother me at all and i've even had many talks with him about how I feel about it and what it means to us.
The biggest problem we have is that he doesn't understand the things that I do that are motivated by emotion. We have to have marathon talks about these things where I have to describe for him the why of what I do. I also have to explain these things in the most logical terms possible. To others, our conversations during these times could almost look cold and callous, but it's the only way for me to get through to him.
None of these conversations ever upset either of us, we just seem them as necessary and we're both much more comfortable and happy at the end of them.
He did tell me something tonight that is very out of character for him to actually voice as what he feels, rather he shows me how he feels. He did tell me that he thinks about me daily and that made me feel great.
The second problem that we have is his girlfriend (They're a poly couple like us). She proclaims all the time that she is fine with both of them being poly and she's good with me. I also hang out with her as well and we're friendly. Only problem is, if he at all shows any affection to me while she is in the room, she automatically spirals down and takes it as an offense to her. So i've taken the road of no contact with him when she's around, but I can see that it hurts him.
I don't know if i'm looking for advice or just needing to vent. Most likely vent, but banging my head against a wall seems like a good option right now!
Oh well, on to my next engima!
The biggest problem we have is that he doesn't understand the things that I do that are motivated by emotion. We have to have marathon talks about these things where I have to describe for him the why of what I do. I also have to explain these things in the most logical terms possible. To others, our conversations during these times could almost look cold and callous, but it's the only way for me to get through to him.
None of these conversations ever upset either of us, we just seem them as necessary and we're both much more comfortable and happy at the end of them.
He did tell me something tonight that is very out of character for him to actually voice as what he feels, rather he shows me how he feels. He did tell me that he thinks about me daily and that made me feel great.
The second problem that we have is his girlfriend (They're a poly couple like us). She proclaims all the time that she is fine with both of them being poly and she's good with me. I also hang out with her as well and we're friendly. Only problem is, if he at all shows any affection to me while she is in the room, she automatically spirals down and takes it as an offense to her. So i've taken the road of no contact with him when she's around, but I can see that it hurts him.
I don't know if i'm looking for advice or just needing to vent. Most likely vent, but banging my head against a wall seems like a good option right now!
Oh well, on to my next engima!