AlwaysGrowing
Well-known member
I think a blog here might be helpful. My thoughts get all jumbled in my head and writing them out is the only way to organize them. Some feedback now and then is awesome, too.
Right now... I'm kind of struggling.
The current cast - I'm married to an amazing man (H). He gets me in a way that no one else ever has. I have no doubt that he is my soul mate (or one of them). The only problem I feel like our relationship has is too much familiarity now and then. We slip into friend mode instead of being lovers. Not bad, necessarily, but it feels awful when I'm not feeling very attracted to him because I've let that "friend" mindset seep in. On occasion there are other struggles, but they are usually processed and gone within a short span of time without much heartache. He is not currently seeing anyone else.
For about 8 months or so, I was dating a guy (B). I really felt (feel? this is what I'm processing now...) that I could love him and be with him for a long time. For a variety of reasons -see post 2 in a bit - I just ended things with him. We're still in contact, however, and may or may not revisit a relationship at some point. B dates a few women but hasn't had a "relationship" (the daily contact kind that he and I both prefer) other than the one with me since the beginning of the year.
I also have a casual dating relationship with a woman (Z) that I really enjoy. We're non-sexual, lots of hand-holding and kissing, though. We see each other once or twice a month. My schedule is crazy and she doesn't drive, so it's hard to work it out more than that. She is in the process of establishing a more poly-fi setup, which may or may not affect whatever it is that we're doing.
Recently, I started seeing a new fella (D)... We've been talking for about 2-3 months, been out a couple of times, just had sex for the first time this week. He is semi-geographically undesirable, but it is doable. There will not be the potential to see him more than once a week for the foreseeable future. He has a primary partner that he lives with. They are fairly new to poly and still figuring out their boundaries.
I have a very close, also poly friend that I talk to. A lot. About everything. She (Y) is my only real confidant besides H. H jokes that we might as well be together, minus the sex. Possibly true, but neither of us is attracted to the other and while we really like each other as FRIENDS, it has never felt like more than that.
Now onto my current turmoil...
Right now... I'm kind of struggling.
The current cast - I'm married to an amazing man (H). He gets me in a way that no one else ever has. I have no doubt that he is my soul mate (or one of them). The only problem I feel like our relationship has is too much familiarity now and then. We slip into friend mode instead of being lovers. Not bad, necessarily, but it feels awful when I'm not feeling very attracted to him because I've let that "friend" mindset seep in. On occasion there are other struggles, but they are usually processed and gone within a short span of time without much heartache. He is not currently seeing anyone else.
For about 8 months or so, I was dating a guy (B). I really felt (feel? this is what I'm processing now...) that I could love him and be with him for a long time. For a variety of reasons -see post 2 in a bit - I just ended things with him. We're still in contact, however, and may or may not revisit a relationship at some point. B dates a few women but hasn't had a "relationship" (the daily contact kind that he and I both prefer) other than the one with me since the beginning of the year.
I also have a casual dating relationship with a woman (Z) that I really enjoy. We're non-sexual, lots of hand-holding and kissing, though. We see each other once or twice a month. My schedule is crazy and she doesn't drive, so it's hard to work it out more than that. She is in the process of establishing a more poly-fi setup, which may or may not affect whatever it is that we're doing.
Recently, I started seeing a new fella (D)... We've been talking for about 2-3 months, been out a couple of times, just had sex for the first time this week. He is semi-geographically undesirable, but it is doable. There will not be the potential to see him more than once a week for the foreseeable future. He has a primary partner that he lives with. They are fairly new to poly and still figuring out their boundaries.
I have a very close, also poly friend that I talk to. A lot. About everything. She (Y) is my only real confidant besides H. H jokes that we might as well be together, minus the sex. Possibly true, but neither of us is attracted to the other and while we really like each other as FRIENDS, it has never felt like more than that.
Now onto my current turmoil...