tenK's travels

tenK

New member
I thought it was time to start a blog. I keep a paper journal, and it's nearly full, so that's part of the motivation. The other is that I think I could occasionally benefit from other people's input. When I have days where I am struggling with my relationships, I'm not my usual rational self. I tend to be reactive, and to catastrophize, and although I feel I'm getting better at not doing that with time, it usually takes me longer than I like to realise what a numpty I'm being and get back on track. Perhaps that process will be sped up by gentle interjections or insights from others. I'm also quite okay if no one feels like making any comments too. I have learnt a lot from reading other people's experiences in this section, and it's good to just get stuff out sometimes in a venting kind of way. Hopefully there will be chronicling of good bits of these travels too though. :)

---

Anyway, I might as well just dive straight into things. I'm having a bit of a crappy morning. Last night Nina and I went to poly meet. It took a lot of cajoling to get her there in the end, because although she wanted to go, she'd had a crappy day at work and we are both stressed out about our house renovation work and she wasn't in the mood. I was keen to go because I had made plans to talk to a friend of ours - I'm going to call him Rhythm - about meeting up with him next week for a movie night. Recently, Rhythm and I ended up making out with each other after a night out, and we haven't really talked about that beyond saying it was fun and that we have no expectations. The movie night was his suggestion, and it seems clear that it might be an attempt to arrange some time to be alone with each other…but, with Rhythm, it could just as easily be a social invite, and that he's expecting Nina and/or other friends to tag along - I wanted to talk to him about that a bit rather than making assumptions.

I was also expecting to see Scandi there. We haven't seen each other all summer, although we've kept in touch a bit through text and did meet up briefly at a refugee vigil we were both attending at the weekend. I was with work colleagues who I'm not out as poly to, so we couldn't really talk, but we made tentative plans to meet at the group last night, and/or grab a drink this week. He's been going through a lot of changes in his life of late. He's divorcing his wife (who he is financially dependent on), moving in with one of his girlfriends…it's a lot. So I totally understand why he's not been very available of late. I wanted to find out how he's been handling that, and (perhaps selfishly) where that leaves me and him.

Anyway, we arrived at the meet very late, but with Nina in a much better mood (yay!). However, as we are walking in the door, Rhythm and his girlfriend are having to leave to chase a bus. So that was kind of bad timing. We spoke very briefly and just confirmed that we were both free Tuesday, but I guess I will have to message him to clarify what his expectations are, which me being the classic indirect Brit that I am just makes me feel a bit cringey, awkward and presumptuous. But there you have it. I know it's something I have to get used to or face the wrath of crossed wires at a later date. Anyway, Scandi was there, so we sat near him and we got to talk a bit. The long and short of it is that he and his girlfriend are having some problems and have decided to close their relationship while they solidify stuff between them. I'm a bit bummed by that, but I guess it wasn't really unexpected. I guess I'm a little hurt by the way he delivered the message though - he just sort of announced it at the table to everyone, rather than speaking to me individually about it, but hey. I think he was confident enough that I wouldn't be upset that he thought it best to just get it out there - I saw he was also getting hit on a bit by a new guy, so fair enough!

Anyway, so my crappy mood today is a bit to do with that, a bit to do with the amorphous situation developing with Rhythm, and a bit to do with some of my insecurities and I guess, being honest, some 'attention-envy' with Nina. Let's break this down.

I guess my main issue with Rhythm right now (and Nina called me on it this morning) is that *I* don't know what I want from the situation. He's a really good friend, I like him a lot. I'm not massively attracted to him physically, but he's a very open and loveable person, very upbeat and full of positive vibes, and I do find that his personality makes him more attractive to me. He's a good kisser too, and experienced in both poly and sex, and that also draws me in. But after how things ended with Jay and Lily (I'll explain that at some point) I'm a bit wary of mixing sex and pre-existing friendship. Also, I worry that his feelings and mine might be out of synch. That I'm looking for something less intense than he is. Anyway, brain is buzzing over all of that today. I guess I don't know if I trust my motives, because I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment, and he's giving me a lot of attention that I'm craving right now. I don't want to jump into something with him just to find out later on that it doesn't feel right, and have both of us left with hurt feelings.

As for my insecurities. Well, they are obviously my own to deal with. At the moment they seem to be manifesting in really unhealthy ways though, and I'd like to fix that. Like I'm hyper-aware right now that Nina is full to bursting with dating options, and I wrestle with making comparisons in my mind which leave me feeling like the ugly duckling. My girlfriend is incredibly hot. I know I'm not as conventionally attractive as her, but I also know that she thinks I'm beautiful, and on a good day, I see that too. After not really having much luck in the online dating thing, she's finally found someone cool that she enjoys having sex with, and there's another guy that she'd really like to meet up with, and last night she was also being hit on by a girl at the group. I don't know. Maybe it's was just the contrast last night, sitting around the same table seeing that while she is on the cusp of lots of exciting new opportunities, I was basically getting dumped. And that while I do have opportunities of my own, I don't feel entirely relaxed about them.

Just to top off the morning, last night Nina mentioned something about how she'd like us to find some time this week to talk about a potential sex-party thing that Aries might be hosting - and that he'd said it was basically up to us to decide what we wanted. I had been unaware (although she says she told me) that the two of them had gotten into any of the planning details, or that she and I would even be part of that process at all - I thought we were going to talk about what we were jointly comfortable with, and find out from him a bit more about who he was inviting and how these things generally work (total sex party newbies here), but it turns out it's kind of for us to decide, which is actually a lovely considerate thing on his side. Anyway, my logical brain knows it's a minor thing, but she showed me their messages on the issue and it seemed to me that they had basically planned the whole thing already without me, and emotional brain freaked out. I already have issues with feeling like Aries is way more into Nina than he is with me. I can actually wrap my head around that objectively and see that some degree of disparity is only natural, and that it's not like he *doesn't* find me attractive at all. He clearly enjoys the group sex in and of itself, and I think if he wanted one-on-one time with either of us he would ask. Where I worry is that in the moment I sometimes end up feeling like an unwanted plus-one, which then, surprise surprise, makes me distance myself a bit and then of course I can't tell if I'm excluding myself or being excluded. And now I feel excluded from this sex party thing, and like I'm just being dragged along for the ride (pun intended), but that it's now about satisfying their shared fantasies. And that essentially what will happen is I will go, sit nervously in the corner, and watch every single person in the room want to fuck my girlfriend. And that's so not the point of this. It's meant to be a fun thing for everyone, and I think I'm just going to ruin it for myself by being utterly primed for rejection before it even starts. Gaaaah!

---

To summarise: Confidence and self-esteem are such catch-22 phenomena. If you have some, it seems to make a self-fulfilling prophecy of positivity that gives you more of both. If you're at a low ebb, it can end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of negativity and strip you down even more.
 
I'm feeling much better about things after talking to Nina more the last few days, and generally just NOT thinking about stuff too much. When I'm busy at work and have less time to over think during the day, many of my niggles just go away on their own. I still haven't spoken directly to Rhythm about plans next week, but he messaged both Nina and I last night and signed off saying 'see you Tuesday', so it seems clear enough that he wasn't specifically seeking out one on one time. That being said, Nina is seeing her new squeeze - I'm gonna call him Adam - that evening, so it will just be me at any rate.

We are both seeing Aries on Thursday, to talk about this party. He messaged me yesterday sharing his excitement and some of his thoughts, so I'm feeling a little better about the situation. Nina is keen to set aside some time this weekend to go through things with me before that, and so I'm feeling a bit more relaxed about stuff. It's something I've been curious and interested in exploring for a while, even though I'm nervous about what to expect. Hopefully by the time it comes around, I'll be feeling more confident.

Aaaaannnnd…I have a date of my own coming up this weekend. It's just a first coffee with a guy I've been talking to for a few weeks on OkC, but I'm kind of excited about it. He seems to have a very dirty, but charming, mind; he's athletic and good looking; and we've had some interesting conversations. The catch (and there always seems to be one, with every single person I've met of late) is that his open relationship is of the DADT kind. I've never really been a fan of the idea - it seems like it comes with way too much baggage - but I'd like to talk to him about it more. His girlfriend goes away for extended trips on a regular basis, and that's when he has time to see other people (and he presumes she sees others too). If we ended up just becoming friends with benefits, then that kind of arrangement might suit me time-wise. I basically only met up with Scandi once a month or so, and if things develop with this guy I'm imagining it might be more like we could see each other a little more intensely, but less often. So maybe a couple of times for a week or two, but only every two months. I think a lot of it hinges on whether he's comfortable going out and actually doing non-sexual things with me though. I'm not keen on feeling furtive.
 
I haven't really decided how often I'm going to update this thing, but I guess some interesting things have happened. First of all, Sunday's date went quite well. It was all a bit back to front really, in the sense that we had spoken online about a lot of more intimate relationship orientated stuff, but we knew very little about each other in non-relationship contexts. So although in a sense, all we really did was make small-talk, it felt quite fluid and easy. He's actually even better looking than his photos suggested, which was a pleasant surprise, and although we haven't made any firm plans to meet up again, I think I would like to and so I told him as much. He got back in touch very briefly today to say the feeling was mutual, so that's positive. It's very early days, and I still want to know more about his DADT agreement, but I'm quietly optimistic that there could be a spark of something there.

Nina and I had our chat about the party, and that was also good. We clarified a few things with each other, and figured out some things we should ask Aries when we see him on Thursday. Through our chats, and stuff that cropped up to do with Aries over the weekend, I feel I've made some progress in understanding some of my insecurities. I have a very specific hang-up to do with group sex situations, where I basically worry a lot that people are hooking up and including me in sexual activities when they would actually prefer to be having twosome sex without me. It stems in part from past interactions with Nina and Jay, but I also think it relates to basic confidence issues and feelings of inadequacy that I've always had. And it's this more than anything else which makes me end up making comparisons with myself and Nina. It really upsets us both that I do this, so I've been trying really hard to counter the negative thoughts. Anyway, Aries was unintentionally very helpful on that front yesterday, because although I hadn't shared any of these feelings with him, he shared the fact that one of the things he loves about Nina and I are our differences in body and mind, and how we both drive him crazy and remind him why he is non-monogamous. It was very heartfelt and sweet, and arrived at exactly the right moment.

Tonight Nina is meeting up with Adam again. I hope they have a good evening, although Nina is a bit grumpy because she unexpectedly got her period today - gaaah! I have a lot of empathy because that happens to me all the time, but it's really unusual that it would affect her like this. I have a ridiculous cycle (every 25 days, for 7 days), whereas she has a pretty good one (every 31 days, for 3 days). The ONLY bonus to this (and sometimes I'm not even sure it *is* a bonus) is that because we vary so radically from one another, our cycles never synch with each other in spite of living together the past three years. And I get a lot of extra sympathy from her for having about two more of those suckers a year. :D

Anyway, she's going ahead with the date as planned and I'm sure they'll both still have lots of fun. I'm going to go round to Rhythm's place and hang out, and possibly play some board games with him, his girlfriend and maybe his flatmate. They are all very awesome people, and even though I don't feel I know the others that well yet, I really like them. His girlfriend (who is also lovely and a friend and so should get a nickname on here in due course) was keen to let me know that she will be going to bed very early tonight (she actually winked after saying this! Cheeky!) so I guess this could be construed as a quasi-date since it seems space is being engineered for me and Rhythm to hang out alone too? I don't know. I'm feeling more relaxed about it either way, and it's nice to see how supportive they are of each others relationships/opportunities. I'm very content to just leave things open and see what happens.

And finally, stuff is moving well on our house! Yay! I popped round today and the replastering work upstairs is finished in the bedrooms, and the new floor is being laid. Is it wrong that I think I have NRE for a building? It's just too exciting! The ceiling in the hallways still needs to be replaced and the walls there replastered, but that's happening Friday. So come the start of next week, we could actually start painting upstairs. Once the new bathroom is in, we could technically move in while the downstairs gets gutted, although we'll see in the next few weeks whether our planning permission has been granted or not. If it has gone through without a hitch, we might be able to get the builders to rip into it immediately and postpone a move until the new kitchen is in and everything is done. If not, and we have to make alterations, we'll have to send the cat to stay with my mum, and move in early. We can't afford to rent much longer. Either way, it's exciting to see the stuff Nina and I have been planning for so long actually start to take shape. :) It can be stressful at times, but we're both loving this bit. One of the things we were both keen to make sure of when we first opened our relationship was that it wouldn't distract us from our 'bigger picture' life plans, and for us, that really included buying our house together and making it ours. So yes. That's a thing that's actually happening. :)
 
Eek! So an update is long overdue.

My second date with the don't-ask-don't-tell guy went pretty well in some respects, but ultimately, there seem to be a few too many incompatibilities for this to be a regular thing. We talked about the reasons for his DADT agreement, and it was actually at his request, not hers. Perhaps that should have been an immediate red flag, because he did admit it was because he struggled with reconciling his desires to not be possessive of her and also to experience open relationships with others himself, with feeling like having actual knowledge of her hooking up with other guys would cause him to lose control and end their relationship. He described it as something animalistic that he was ashamed of, but that since he was determined not to limit their interactions, it really did have to be that way. He expressed envy at the openness in my own relationship but just didn't feel like she and he were there yet. Nevertheless, I decided I still wanted to explore having sex with him, and that all felt pretty good chemistry wise. I think we both had a really good time actually hooking up, and that seemed to flow well. It was his behaviour after sex that kind of put me off a little. He was quite distant, clearly quite desperate for me to leave. I don't know. I was left feeling like I had misread him a little. Either way, it put me off a bit.

He sent some messages the next day saying what a great time he'd had and that he'd like to meet again next time his girlfriend was out of town. A few weeks later he got in touch again. We exchanged some quite sexy messages, he proposed a time to meet…and then cancelled it at the very last minute. We haven't really been in touch since, and I feel fine with that. I'm not seeing any great potential here for romance, so even if he does get in touch again, I will back out gracefully. I think a few years ago something like that would have really upset me, but not any more. It has certainly helped to clarify what I am actually looking for in terms of interactions with others. I definitely want to meet someone who can be open about our relationship, so that we're not having to resort to meeting up only at each others houses or in bars we normally wouldn't frequent for fear of bumping into anyone. I also don't want to be with someone who blows hot and cold at me.

So, that was all a while ago now. I got chatting to another guy (I'm calling him Zymurgist, as he is massively into brewing his own beer) and we met at a local bar after work one night. The conversation flowed easily - he's finishing up his PhD, so we were comparing horror stories of academia for much of the night, along with some other shared interests. He seemed lovely so the next week we met up again. It was a really fun night, although he got me horribly drunk. We stopped off at a few more bars in that part of town and then on a whim I decided to take him to an open mic night that Rhythm kind of co-hosts. I know it's not exactly normal to take someone to go meet your friends on a first date (which we decided this one was, as the first was just a meet and greet) but he handled himself admirably, and I'm sure he got a bit of a grilling from folk when I went to the bathroom! Oops! Anyway, he ended up walking me back to my neighbourhood and we had some nice kisses before saying goodbye. I think we're still getting a feel for each other, and at times he can be charmingly awkward - in that, 'I'm not sure if I can touch you/I'm now touching you/I'm not sure if I can touch you', kind of way - but things seem to be progressing well. I've been to his place twice now, met one of his flatmates, had drunken sex with him, had more sober fooling around… and I like him. He's very tactile. He has a long-distance relationship with a woman he adores from Mexico, and I think he really misses physical touch. I like cuddling and post-coital affection, so that works for me. :)

He's upfront about the fact that when his PhD is over in August, he's leaving, and I'm good with that. He's also away now for the next six weeks or so visiting his partner for Christmas and then holidaying together. I saw him last night to say goodbye and he rather sweetly gave me a holiday gift of a full selection of his home made beers. He makes his own labels and everything, and now I have a delicious sampling of imperial stout, a wheat porter, a saison, and a coffee porter to enjoy. Given I've not known him long I wasn't expecting a holiday gift, and I know he reserves these ones for close friends and family (he has more everyday beer that he brews just for casual consumption - these are ones he enters into local competitions), so I was quite touched.

Today Scandi is coming over for lunch. He hasn't actually said anything directly, but from the way he contacted me after near radio silence, some of the things he has said indirectly, and the fact that I've seen him on OkC a LOT this last few weeks, I'm anticipating that he has now re-opened his relationship. I don't know how I feel about that. I think he is being a little presumptuous if he thinks we are having a f-w-b date this afternoon like we used to, because, well, as far as I'm concerned, we're definitely not. Part of me feels like I don't really have the energy or inclination to start seeing him sexually again. I have missed his company more than the sex side of things, and if things are likely to be on again, off again with his partner, I'd rather not be annexed from his friendship. But then another part of me actually questions whether he really does see me as a friend or if it is just more about the sex with him. It's hard to tell, also because he struggles with periods of depression where he just drops out of everyone's orbit for a while. So you either see him when he's on a high and in a bouncy positive space (which also correlates with feeling sexy for him) or you don't see him at all. Tricky. Anyway, I hope to address some of these things head on with him today. I could be way off base in lots of ways.
 
Last edited:
Thanks PolySnow. :)

-----

So the meeting with Scandi was…awkward. Yes, he and his girlfriend have opened up their relationship again, but only to pre-established partners (so for Scandi, that's me and another girl). The way he bought that up was kind of like, 'so shall we have the sex now?' and I was kind of like, 'no, not really, wasn't really expecting it, getting over an infection'. Kind of kicking myself now for not really getting into the exact details of my reluctance and using me feeling physically crappy (the last month was ridiculous - cold after cold, followed by a bacterial infection that needed antibiotics to shift - joy) as an excuse when really I think it just boils down to having reservations about the way he talks to me (or not) about things. I did say that if we were to restart things, I would like to see him more outside of sex dates, to which he nodded his head enthusiastically. I don't know. I think part of the reservation comes from not really being sure about his other relationship. He doesn't really talk to me much about it. Nina and I have both met her just once, very briefly, and wondered if they had a bit of a power exchange thing going on. I feel like I would like to know more about their boundaries and what flavour of poly they are wanting before I start anything sexual up again with him, because things already seem very different to how things were when his wife was in the picture.

Nina and I have taken this last week off work to work on our house, and it's been great. It's good to see some tangible progress brought about by our own hands. One of the bedrooms is completely finished paint wise, and now holds all of our living room furniture so we have a comfy place away from all the chaos of the renovations to hide in when we work on the place. The other room just awaits the colour coat, and the downstairs lounge has been stripped of decades of old wallpaper. We've also had a chance to herd the various builders and contractors and start lining up dates for the next stages of the projects, which is also really good. It's those kinds of things that seem to always slip by the wayside when you're working all day and just want to collapse at the end of the day.

Aries came over and helped us with some of it last Wednesday, and I have to say, it was very handy having a 6ft2 guy on hand to help move the sofa up the stairs and paint all the little bits we missed on the ceiling! :D We also exploited his car to pick up some supplies, and in general, it was just really nice to be hanging out with him in that kind of context. He has just started seeing a new girlfriend. There is one heck of an age difference (she's only 22…he's 48!) but he seems super happy. He's lost some weight, and seems less tired than he has been for a while. Like Scandi, he's also going through a split with his wife, although unlike Scandi he would much rather stay with her I think. He handles things so well emotionally though. It's just really great spending time with him because there's never any drama - I always feel very inspired by him. It helps that the sex seems to just keep on getting better too. ;) We are planning on going on a short holiday with him in the new year - somewhere warm, which at this time of year means heading to the equator. We're just waiting for him to get final confirmation that his UK visa has been renewed, which should be a formality given that he is an expert in his field and his UK employers need him quite badly, before we make final plans. If you had asked me a year ago if I could have imagined Nina and I going on holiday with someone either of us were dating, I would have found the thought baffling. I think it's one of those things that initially felt like a hard limit to me - like trips abroad are only something you do with a partner if it's a really serious relationship, and I don't want either of us to have one of those scary things. When in actual fact, it's just a fun thing to do with someone you like. Anyway. I'm looking forward to it. As is Aries, who keeps requesting things like 'small bikinis' and 'nudist beaches'! Hehe!

Zymurgist has been in touch since heading over to Mexico to be with his girlfriend. He's delighted to be able to see her of course, but finds his days to be quite boring over there. She works long hours, and while theoretically he has his thesis to work on, I think it's quite hard for him to knuckle down and just write. The temperature difference takes some adjusting to, and whilst he feels safe enough wandering around her neighbourhood (it's a gated community) he's smack bang in the middle of kidnap-a-tourist territory, so it's not like he can explore the place very safely on his own. His Spanish is getting better though, and all in all he's been sending me pics of all the delicious things he's been eating so I'm not feeling too sorry for him!

Another piece of news is that Jay popped by the house to see Nina and I. That's really only the second time we've seen him since we broke up, and the first time we've seen him without his partner Lily being there. It was just a short lunchtime visit, and predictably, we didn't get onto anything related to that or how we're feeling. I think that was right though. We genuinely just needed to catch up chit-chat style, and I'm still not sure how I feel about opening up and talking in any depth with him about how I'm feeling yet. I had a bit of a panic right before he came by - it sometimes just feels to me like nothing has actually changed, since the final few months of us officially dating him we weren't spending any real face to face time with him anyway, this 'break up' hasn't really been a tangible shift in behaviour for any of us. I don't feel like I have as much closure as I'd like, and I have a lot of unfounded concerns over how much closure Nina has too. We have talked about it, and I'm sure we will continue to do so. Her take is largely that the main source of frustration was being theoretically a relationship but practically being unable to act on feelings that were there; now the reality matches expectations more she's more comfortable with her feelings, and would like to be closer to him platonically. I'm still struggling to see a positive outcome, still expecting Lily to have issues even with us being just friends, and generally just feeling reluctant to allow him back in the inner circle if you like. Once bitten, twice shy, etc. I'm sure we'll get there eventually, and seeing him was not stressful like I feared it would be, so there's that.

Lastly, I'm going to meet Adam for the first time tomorrow I think. I'm looking forward to it actually. I've been wanting to meet him for a while, but also been full of the whole trepidation of meeting a new metamour thing. I didn't want us to arrange something where the express purpose was for he and I to meet, because I felt like that was just a bit artificial and weird and a bit too formal. At the same time, I didn't want to crash one of their dates or anything. Anyway, it turns out he is registered for the same 10km race that Nina and I are, so the plan is to bump into him there and then have a post run brunch together. At first I was feeling like it would be terrible to meet him in that context - I get stupidly competitive at races, even though I am not a skilled runner at all, and this was one I had wanted go all out on because I've spent most of the year working on distance (training for a marathon back in June) and I'm curious to see what that's done to my 10k abilities. And I admit it, I would be gutted if he beat me! However, I tweaked my hamstring on a training run last weekend so that has put paid to the idea that I will be attempting a fast race. Now I can just enjoy it as a gentle run and be there as support for them really. It will be both his and Nina's first race, so hopefully it goes well for everyone. The weather has been foul of late, so I'm also crossing my fingers that it's not just cancelled altogether. It's blowing gale force winds today, and the local football games have been postponed because the pitches didn't pass referee inspection after the heavy rain we've had, so it's not looking great to be honest. With a bit of luck it might just blow itself out tonight though.
 
The race on Sunday went well. My hamstring held out like a trooper, and although I was a good two minutes off of my best time-wise, I felt like it was a good effort. More importantly, Nina had a blast and ran a very very respectable PB. :) I was very pleased and proud of her. Meeting Adam was a little awkward, but not at all unpleasant. Nina had warned me that he is quite reserved in character, and a little shy, but she had also told me that she thought he and I would have a lot of geeky interests in common. I'm not sure that really came to light over brunch because he did just seem very tense. I was a bit nervous myself, so yeah, there was quite a lot of awkwardness. That being said, I can imagine that if he were more relaxed we might get along. I remember Nina being really unsure what she thought of him after their first date months ago, and being a little baffled at the time when she couldn't say definitively whether she found him attractive and wanted to see him again or not. I think I understand why now - she's usually drawn to people who are quite tactile and demonstrative of their affection, and I don't think Adam is that kind of guy. Anyway, they both seem happy enough with how things are going with each other, and I hope we'll get to hang out again in the future.

Yesterday Rhythm had his PhD examination. He passed but had quite a few corrections to make, which is a bit of a blow for him as he is desperate to just move on from that project. Nina and I had both sent him some messages during the day, and while I was at basketball practise he came over to ours to commiserate-celebrate with Nina. It was quite cute - when I finally got home they were cuddling on the sofa, several glasses into a nice bottle of wine. I got to snuggle in between them for a while and help them finish the dregs, and I got a nice neck massage. I think Rhythm went home feeling a lot better, which is good. Hugs fix most things. Hugs and wine? Even more so.

This morning I'm pottering around the house waiting for Nina to finish up at work. We are (hopefully) making the final decision on the layout and units in our new kitchen later today. This morning, Aries got in touch to invite us over to his for 'taco-night' tonight. Apparently, this is not a euphemism - he is cooking for his flatmate and some friends, and just spontaneously wondered if we were free. Which we are, and it's really nice that we'll get to meet some of his people. Even though our relationship with him started off very much in the fuck buddy kind of realm, it's evolving into more of a friendship, which is great. I'm curious if his new girlfriend will be there or not. :) She's new to the whole open relationship thing, but I think she's enjoying having the freedom to explore. She's hooked up with her ex a few times, and although it feels like there is the potential for some drama there, Aries is, as ever, very relaxed about it all. He says it's very cute - she still sort of shyly lets him know that she might be meeting someone she fancies, and can't quite get over the fact that his attitude is like 'awesome - hope you have a great time'. :D He's more than a bit smitten, and very much enjoying playing the role of the experienced older man with her.
 
Back
Top