Hello community friends. I'm new to polyamory. My partner and I had been together for 8 years before opening up to poly. We joined OKC. She immediately got an influx of messages from guys. I hear that is common for women. However, for me, I didn't get any replys back. (not so great for my self-esteem). So she started dating a few guys while I've been stuck in the wings.
I've gone on a double date with her and another couple, which was fun. She recently had sex with a guy on their first date. Then the next night, another guy came over to our house to hang out.
I'm struggling with my feelings. I feel a little left behind. I feel like a third wheel on her dating extravaganza. I can deal with her having sex with someone else, but at the same time I have insecure thoughts. "Is she comparing me to him? Was it better? Why has she never wanted to be with me in a public place, but she will with a stranger?"
It seems to be easier to hear that she had a good time on a date, than actually being there on the date and seeing her flirt and kiss on someone else. I want to be the center of attention when I'm with her, and I don't get that when she has a date around.
I'm not sure if any of those feelings will change once I am able to meet someone else. I understand her desire to give love to men that she adores. I want to give love to women that I find special. I hope that once I'm able to do that, I will be more open to seeing her give and receive love with others. Right now, I just feel secluded.
I've gone on a double date with her and another couple, which was fun. She recently had sex with a guy on their first date. Then the next night, another guy came over to our house to hang out.
I'm struggling with my feelings. I feel a little left behind. I feel like a third wheel on her dating extravaganza. I can deal with her having sex with someone else, but at the same time I have insecure thoughts. "Is she comparing me to him? Was it better? Why has she never wanted to be with me in a public place, but she will with a stranger?"
It seems to be easier to hear that she had a good time on a date, than actually being there on the date and seeing her flirt and kiss on someone else. I want to be the center of attention when I'm with her, and I don't get that when she has a date around.
I'm not sure if any of those feelings will change once I am able to meet someone else. I understand her desire to give love to men that she adores. I want to give love to women that I find special. I hope that once I'm able to do that, I will be more open to seeing her give and receive love with others. Right now, I just feel secluded.