Inyourendo
New member
so nate came home and we talked alone for a few hours. he feels that we should become monogamous and work on our marriage. he feels that my insecurity about Jo the other night has ruined things for him (he hasnt talked to her all weekend) and that he feels bad that i have another life with someone else. all the old insecurities that he had in the beginning seems to have come back. he feels that if we continue on this path our marriage will fade away. i think he's just depressed and we have talked about him going on antidepressants. he isnt on them now because he does medical studies since he's a stay at home dad to bring in money and he cant take them. i guess i will do the medical studies in addition to my full time job and full time work if that means that he can feel better. I had thought to get in them anyway but that was to help up pay off debt faster.
i told him that he should have said this a couple days ago when it was an option but now that Sam and i are back together the option is off the table.there is no way I can leave Sam, he means so much to me and the two days we were apart proved to me how much i want him in my life.
we listened to music, talked, fucked (yes fucked) and he seems to feel better. i think the fact that i told him that his behavior the other day was abusive has really hit him hard and has made him consider that i would be better off without me but i dont think that is the case. i think he's in a funk. he told me he was sorry that he cant just accept me for who i am. he use to be able to but he cant anymore. i told him to keep seeing Jo and we will get though this, we are just transitioning.
this seems like the same old pattern, we fight, then he gets mopey and i feel bad that ive made him depressed. this is why i never stand up for myself because it always ends up with me trying to make him happy. i also cant believe that i didnt realize that him seeing Jo was a way for him to cope with my relationship with Sam. I had encouraged him for that very reason, i dont know how I lost sight of that! hopefully next week will be better. I think im going through a manic cycle right now including PMS so everything has just been very intense lately.
i told him that he should have said this a couple days ago when it was an option but now that Sam and i are back together the option is off the table.there is no way I can leave Sam, he means so much to me and the two days we were apart proved to me how much i want him in my life.
we listened to music, talked, fucked (yes fucked) and he seems to feel better. i think the fact that i told him that his behavior the other day was abusive has really hit him hard and has made him consider that i would be better off without me but i dont think that is the case. i think he's in a funk. he told me he was sorry that he cant just accept me for who i am. he use to be able to but he cant anymore. i told him to keep seeing Jo and we will get though this, we are just transitioning.
this seems like the same old pattern, we fight, then he gets mopey and i feel bad that ive made him depressed. this is why i never stand up for myself because it always ends up with me trying to make him happy. i also cant believe that i didnt realize that him seeing Jo was a way for him to cope with my relationship with Sam. I had encouraged him for that very reason, i dont know how I lost sight of that! hopefully next week will be better. I think im going through a manic cycle right now including PMS so everything has just been very intense lately.