Orlandobif
Member
I approve of Tinder hookups, swinging and casual sex, it's just not satisfying for me and higher risk than I take with myself and or someone I can date. There is lot's of room to discuss frequency and practice here. It's not a black and white answer. There is no judgement about the activities involved. I have done many fun things in my time and often wish STDs were not a factor since I find it so limiting to what I want to do.
I was approached on a site and declined because of incompatible levels of risk and intent. At first explaining my poly interests, they indicated they were frequent swingers, and when re approached as poly I pointed out risk (not 100% condom use) and offered info on poly and bi groups. I said I admired how forthcoming the profile was.
The need to honest in risk limitations, in poly intent, in my marital agreements are commonly received as a judgement on behavior even when I insist it is about risk. You have the confidence and the desire to pursue your fantasies, go for it! I may ask to watch. I just can't join you.
When they take the defensive position, accusations I am cheating, lying and are judgemental are heaped on to me. I know it's not about me but it bothers me a lot so I often persist in clarifying my position. More accusations based on their past experience or, in my guess self disapproval. It's just sex for Gods sake. Breathe.
After a few exchanges I am aware I have to let the last accusations yelled at me go and not reply. It drives me mad when I have worked hard at living honestly and openly and someone, a stranger, walks away with a completely negative and nasty opinion of me..... then sometimes they turn up at my local poly group. Hmmm
Do you find it easy to let go of negative opinions about you knowing you can't change their mind?
I was approached on a site and declined because of incompatible levels of risk and intent. At first explaining my poly interests, they indicated they were frequent swingers, and when re approached as poly I pointed out risk (not 100% condom use) and offered info on poly and bi groups. I said I admired how forthcoming the profile was.
The need to honest in risk limitations, in poly intent, in my marital agreements are commonly received as a judgement on behavior even when I insist it is about risk. You have the confidence and the desire to pursue your fantasies, go for it! I may ask to watch. I just can't join you.
When they take the defensive position, accusations I am cheating, lying and are judgemental are heaped on to me. I know it's not about me but it bothers me a lot so I often persist in clarifying my position. More accusations based on their past experience or, in my guess self disapproval. It's just sex for Gods sake. Breathe.
After a few exchanges I am aware I have to let the last accusations yelled at me go and not reply. It drives me mad when I have worked hard at living honestly and openly and someone, a stranger, walks away with a completely negative and nasty opinion of me..... then sometimes they turn up at my local poly group. Hmmm
Do you find it easy to let go of negative opinions about you knowing you can't change their mind?