When people reference "white privilege" we're not diminishing the hardships of white or white passing people. We're talking about the systemic racism that people of color experience as a result of the legacy of slavery, Jim Crow, continued voter suppression, mass incarceration, employment discrimination - on and on - with regards to the system of white supremacy in which we live. In fact, part of having white privilege is just what you said - not having to think about race.
If you are white or white passing in America, you have white privilege. It doesn't mean you didn't have a hard life. It just means that you aren't subject to the kind of oppression I am talking about.
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I'm not seeing this system you mention. I've moved around enough to see that America is very much a patchwork, and any single explanation is too simple to fully address why people suffer. Things are even quite different from one county to another, let alone state to state.
You've made the assertion that I am privileged because I don't often have to think about race, like somehow this is due to an accident of my birth. I think that is inaccurate, as in my experience it varies tremendously on location and demographics. Where I grew up, I definitely had to think about race. It was on my mind every time I had to walk down a street in my (predominantly black) neighborhood to the sound of catcalls and whistles. It affected my ability to survive, because I was part of a minority. Due to my gender, skin color, hair color, limited English, etc... I was at significant risk. I was threatened with physical or sexual assault numerous times. My husband grew up with me, and had similar issues. That's the cost of being seen as "different."
I moved away as soon as I could. When I moved, the world changed for me and people were quite different. For a while, I lived in an all-white community. I didn't fit there...I was too foreign. Where I live now, there literally isn't a black vs. white dynamic. It just doesn't happen. Due to the high Hispanic population here, it's actually a "black+white vs. Hispanic" situation, as black people and white people are united by common language and interests. Unfortunately, a common prejudice against immigrants goes along with it.
Thirty miles from where I live now, the area becomes almost entirely white. You'd think this would be a happy, privileged paradise but it isn't. In the absence of minority races or cultures, the people invent other differences to fight about, such as who comes from what family/clan. It is Hatfields and McCoys all over again. Swift comes from Mexico, and she tells me that it is similar where she is from - the differences aren't racial or cultural but based on other facets of life.
Wealth, technology, and numerical superiority seems to make the difference in who is treated well and who is treated badly. Skin color, language, or culture doesn't change how crappy people can be toward each other. Any time one group of people has an advantage over others, they'll take it. Doesn't that seem like human nature overall is the problem? Perhaps this ugliness we find in our world is more of a soul issue than a system issue? What is it in our nature that drives us to always have some kind of enemy?