Hello

IAmTheFortress

New member
Welcome everyone! Name is The Fortress and I'm currently 25. I come from Poland where I work as a PhD researcher in the field of ecology and coal heaps recultivation. English is not my native language so please forgive me for my mistakes. I am transsexual, currently too lazy to start transition though :p

As for what brings me to this forum... I've always identified as polyamorous but before this year I had no practical experiences with such experiences :p More specifically, I've always wanted to be in the closed triangle - not sure why, but having two romantic partners always seemed optimal for me in my romantic fantasies. I've never assumed that I would have a chance to end up in such relationship since I live in a very conservative country where polyamorous people are rare and I have never been a sociable type (I suffer from a mental illness that used to make it hard for me to relate to people, at least before I was properly medicated).
But life works in mysterious ways and so this month I have found myself engaged in a relationship with two people... the situation is entirely new for me, so I joined this forum to gain some advice and support on what to do, and what not to do, if I want this relationship to be strong and long-term. It would also be nice to meet some like-minded people since polyamory is really rare where I live :p
As for my partners. One of them I have been in relationship with for 2,5 years (we knew each other since early teens though). We have been living with each other for 2 years now. The second partner is my first partner's close friend from uni - I know him for about half a year, been in relationship with him since August this year. We all three have romantic feelings for each other, but my second partner and I don't know each other that well yet. Probably our second partner is going to move in to our apartment next month.
My first partner is 23 years old bisexual non-binary; second partner is 20 years old bisexual male. We have all agreed our relationship is closed now (as not seeking new additional people) and we are taking it slow to see if this settlement works. The situation is new to us so we are still at the stage of discovering our boundaries and desires.
 
Greetings IAmTheFortress,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You should definitely be able to get some helpful advice here, as well as just a chance to talk with other poly people. You are already taking things slow which is part of the formula for successful poly. The other part is communication. Communicate often, and always strive to improve the quality of your communication. Other than that, you can just see if specific problems crop up, and then post here about those problems and get specific advice. And hey if no problems crop up, that's good too. ;)

I'm glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi TheFortress - and welcome to the Forum! We will look forward to hearing more about your story as it unfolds. Please do not hesitate to post any specific thoughts and questions that you might have. We have a number of experienced poly folks here who are generally very helpful and friendly.

Best of luck on your journey! Al
 
Last edited:
Welcome everyone! Name is The Fortress and I'm currently 25. I come from Poland where I work as a PhD researcher in the field of ecology and coal heaps recultivation. English is not my native language so please forgive me for my mistakes. I am transsexual, currently too lazy to start transition though :p

Hi, the Fortress! What pronouns do you use? And your non-binary partner uses what?

I'm non binary, I use she. My transgender partner uses she as well. But many of our friends and acquaintances use he, they, she, ze, x... sometimes it changes too! Some only want you to use their proper name and no pronouns at all. Some younger non conforming kids are even reclaiming "it"!

As for what brings me to this forum... I've always identified as polyamorous but before this year I had no practical experiences with such experiences :p More specifically, I've always wanted to be in the closed triangle - not sure why, but having two romantic partners always seemed optimal for me in my romantic fantasies. I've never assumed that I would have a chance to end up in such relationship since I live in a very conservative country where polyamorous people are rare and I have never been a sociable type (I suffer from a mental illness that used to make it hard for me to relate to people, at least before I was properly medicated).
But life works in mysterious ways and so this month I have found myself engaged in a relationship with two people... the situation is entirely new for me, so I joined this forum to gain some advice and support on what to do, and what not to do, if I want this relationship to be strong and long-term. It would also be nice to meet some like-minded people since polyamory is really rare where I live :p
As for my partners. One of them I have been in relationship with for 2,5 years (we knew each other since early teens though). We have been living with each other for 2 years now. The second partner is my first partner's close friend from uni - I know him for about half a year, been in relationship with him since August this year. We all three have romantic feelings for each other, but my second partner and I don't know each other that well yet. Probably our second partner is going to move in to our apartment next month.
My first partner is 23 years old bisexual non-binary; second partner is 20 years old bisexual male. We have all agreed our relationship is closed now (as not seeking new additional people) and we are taking it slow to see if this settlement works. The situation is new to us so we are still at the stage of discovering our boundaries and desires.

I see a "red flag," and I might be wrong, but I understand that you've only started seeing 2nd partner romantically for a month, more or less? Since August? And it's now just September? And so, why the rush to move him in? The best general recommendation for any relationship, mono or poly, is to date for a good year before moving in together. A lot can change in the first months of dating. You're infatuated at first, in new relationship energy (NRE). It's a hormonal emotional state that is temporary. Usually you get sexually carried away and idealise a new partner. It takes time to simmer down and see if you're compatible enough to be good roommates as well as dating partners. If you're all poor students it might be tempting to become flatmates, to save money, but you might be asking for trouble.

Also a closed triad is about the hardest romantic relationship to maintain. Why make such a strict rule when you barely know the new guy? And only JUST started dating/fucking him? Is your older partner also fucking him, or are they just platonic friends?

It's recommended in our guidelines, you'd do well to give nicknames to your partners so the members here can refer to them more easily than Partner#1 and Partner#2, OK? You'll get more responses that way.

Welcome to the board.
 
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