CosmoKitty
New member
I've known that I've been an empath for quite some time, but I forget in the chaos of my life. For people who don't know what it is to be an empath, it is when you are very sensitive to other peoples energy to the point where you experience their emotions as your own. So when I get too busy and am around people too much I get super exhausted and retreat back to my home-cave to curl up and heal. I'm learning to balance out my alone time with busy time so I don't wait till I get worn out, but I'm still learning.
I had a big realization recently that I've been getting too close to monogamous people because I've been in three relationships that were with people who were more mono (and who said they were ok with me being more open - for a while) and at first, when we were spending a Lot of our time together and in NRE it was great but then like now I get settled back in my own space and spending more time with myself and I start to feel like Me again. When I'm with these men I think, oh yeah, I could sacrifice myself for them and be mono or do their activities. Then I always end up confused and questioning why I felt like I could do that. It's been quite a back and forth war going on in me for a while now.
When I'm with these men I feel like moving in with them, settling down and dedicating my life to them and I'm convinced now that it is because I have been feeling their desire for me in that way that I was experiencing that.
When I'm on my own I feel more inclined to keep being on my own and I feel like my true state is poly because I enjoy the freedom of being able to be in the moment and accept what comes, but at the same time I want to have more time to myself to write. I use to be the lets move a few people into one place and start a little community! But I find that I really like having my own space and the freedom to be alone or to be with them. I'm just not as dependent on a relationship as I use to be - which I feel is a good thing.
So if you notice that you feel different when you're around people than when you're with yourself, you may be empathic too and you have to be so careful with that. It's caused me quite a bit of distress and identity issues for years. Anyone else notice this happening to you?
I have so much more to talk about, so many experiences I've been having that I have no one to talk to on. I think I'll save them for another topic ;P
I had a big realization recently that I've been getting too close to monogamous people because I've been in three relationships that were with people who were more mono (and who said they were ok with me being more open - for a while) and at first, when we were spending a Lot of our time together and in NRE it was great but then like now I get settled back in my own space and spending more time with myself and I start to feel like Me again. When I'm with these men I think, oh yeah, I could sacrifice myself for them and be mono or do their activities. Then I always end up confused and questioning why I felt like I could do that. It's been quite a back and forth war going on in me for a while now.
When I'm with these men I feel like moving in with them, settling down and dedicating my life to them and I'm convinced now that it is because I have been feeling their desire for me in that way that I was experiencing that.
When I'm on my own I feel more inclined to keep being on my own and I feel like my true state is poly because I enjoy the freedom of being able to be in the moment and accept what comes, but at the same time I want to have more time to myself to write. I use to be the lets move a few people into one place and start a little community! But I find that I really like having my own space and the freedom to be alone or to be with them. I'm just not as dependent on a relationship as I use to be - which I feel is a good thing.
So if you notice that you feel different when you're around people than when you're with yourself, you may be empathic too and you have to be so careful with that. It's caused me quite a bit of distress and identity issues for years. Anyone else notice this happening to you?
I have so much more to talk about, so many experiences I've been having that I have no one to talk to on. I think I'll save them for another topic ;P