Allow me to bring things back to sex drive...
First off, I'll address a few things from the original post. These are suggestions and guesses, they may not all make sense in every situation, but each one is true at least some of the time.
I have NEVER nice heard a man complain about his wife or SO's lack of interest in sex.
I would guess that more men than women would prefer not to admit they need help in the bedroom. This is probably a contributing factor here.
But obviously there has to be more going on than just that.
These women HAVE told their partners they need more.
...this stresses the guy out
They DO go out of their way to be available anytime their male partner wants.
She should try the opposite. Simple economics, supply and demand. If he has to compete for her time (within reason) he will value it more. Also, hanging around waiting to get banged can come off as needy.
They DO try every seduction technique in the book, study sexual arts, get the fancy lingerie, and finally in utter bewilderment turn to a psychic for adivce on the problem.
Have they taken care of his needs? This can be tricky because he may not even know what they are.
The excuses their male partners give vary from "let me finished this level of Halo" to "my back hurts" to "not tonight, the kids might hear us!".
I was married for a year when I was 22. Every night she would spend a couple hours playing computer games, while I sat with her and watched, trying to spend time with her, because I wanted sex. If I had just done the dishes and cleaned the bathroom more frequently, I probably could have been having sex. In the six-month-long email post-mortem that ensued about a year after the break-up, that's what we concluded had happened. I wasn't giving her what she needed and she was tired of trying to take care of my needs. It had nothing to do with biological sex drive, even though that's what she blamed it on at the time.
Can any guys or experienced ladies shed any light on this?
I've always felt that the frequency of sex in a relationship is generally a good indicator of how healthy the relationship is. It's certainly been true in the bulk of my relationships, though not all. But if you're positive that sex drive is the problem, then it's more biological than emotional.
There are a few things I would recommend, most of which are coming from the book "4-Hour Body" by Tim Ferriss, which I recommend to anyone who wants to lose weight, gain muscle, sleep better, run faster, basically anything to do with improving your body.
First off: Diet, sleep, exercise. Healthy lifestyle promotes healthy sex drive.
Second: Blood work. Certain vitamin or mineral deficiencies can cause a drop in sex drive. A couple tests and a supplement of magnesium or Vitamin E may be the answer.
Third: Increase luteinizing hormone (LH). Levels of this, rather than testosterone, are a better indicator of sex drive, and LH is an important hormone in testosterone production as well. Ferriss recommends the following protocol for long-term and sustained increase in sex drive:
Fermented cod liver oil + vitamin-rich butter fat -- 2 capsules upon waking and before bed
Vitamin D3 -- 3000-5000 IU upon waking and before bed (6000-10000 IU per day), until you reach blood levels of 55 ng/mL
Short ice baths and/or cold showers -- 10 minutes each, upon waking and right before bed (these also help regulate sleep)
Ferriss goes into depth in his book as to why this works, and I strongly recommend checking it out. If you just want to go into Chapters and skim the section, its on page 258, with details starting on 511.