PinkPig
Well-known member
What do you guys think about NRE and jealousy pulling in opposite directions? Is the way I've phrased it a good analogy or is there a different way you would explain the same phenomenon?
I think your analogy was fine. Absolutely, NRE can pull one person in one direction while jealousy pulls the other in a different direction...if you let them. We see it all the time in posts from newer or less experienced poly people....and even from those with more experience sometimes. A very common scenario is that the jealous partner can become less attractive to the partner in NRE because suddenly the jealous partner acts clingy, possibly controlling, or it feels like you're constantly talking about emotions, putting out fires. Meanwhile the new relationship is burning hot and bright and so much easier so you're drawn to it.....which just makes the jealous partner more jealous, more negative about the new partner.
In my case, I did not try to control Blue because it just isn't my nature and doesn't fit with how I wish to conduct telationships or treat others. That was not reciprocated by Azure....which to be fair, my relationship was not with her...but Blue acted out of character for my past experience with him which just increased the fear and jealousy. It was very different than his past relationships. But that happens sometimes, game changers come along and shake up the existing relationships. Like anything else, we can be open to the experience and learn and grow from it, or we can resist the change and try to force our way. We see that all the time....either the jealous partner making ultimatums/declaring vetos, or the other partner pushing his/her way without regard to the jealous partner.
Last edited: