PolyNatural
Banned
Thank you for the positive feedback. There are often compromises in relationships, but in theory those should be confined to issues of a logistical nature e.g. I'd love to go to New Zealand but I don't have the savings, so let's have a "staycation".Thanks for such a well thought out and thoughtful reply! I think the thing is this: In poly/mono pairings, it is always expected that the poly person will be the one to make the concessions. Why is this?
I completely agree, and cover this on my site by pointing out that humans are naturally non-monogamous and naturally form meaningful loving connections, while monogamy is essentially a social construct that was in large part instituted by the Romans to help build better armies. So if anything, it's actually monogamy that's the "lifestyle choice", and it isn't even a real choice because we're socialized into it and not given any other options.This isn't a lifestyle choice for me. Not one bit.
Being poly doesn't mean one always has to be on the make or cannot have a solid home life with one person, but it does mean that whoever you're with needs to understand that either of you could be drawn to someone else as well, and be okay with that. This actually makes a relationship stronger instead of weaker because it gets rid of that stifling feeling while eliminating any need to breakup over exclusivity, plus it has the potential to bring a new and positive dimension into a relationship through the addition of a new partner.Monogamy makes me miserable. I am already starting to feel that stifled feeling. I can't do this much longer. I am actually working on a dating profile as we speak. I am naturally oriented to be poly. We'll see. School starts tomorrow.
This seems simple and awesome to those who get it, but unfathomable to those who don't, and if you capitulate to being stifled by the relatively repressive social conditioning of others, you're not being honest with yourself or your partner, and that is a compromise nobody should have to make in a relationship. Your best option is to explain that as best you can and let the chips fall where they may. You don't have to break up with them, but if they break up with you then they're basically just proving the point I made and losing someone very special at the same time, and you don't have to take any responsibility for their decision. If it's anyone's fault, it's society's.
For dating sites, I chose to go with OKC because it's free and has good formatting features. But I've also had zero luck finding anyone here in Calgary who I don't have to explain this all to. I find swingers and hook-ups as superficial as mono people do, and what I'm talking about only dawns on mono people when they realize that it means sex can happen with someone else. I'm so sick of the stereotypical tunnel vision focused on the sex ( sigh ). But now I ramble. Have a wonderful first day back and BTW congrats on making the Deans list!
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