How to find a girlfriend for a couple without freaking her out?

Your best bet is let them find you and let it happen organically. Don't go looking for someone to date both of you, date separate and maybe someone will happen to like both of you. Or even maybe one of you has a female friend who ends up liking one or both (this happened a few times for us) but it should never be the case where you are a "package deal " if I met a couple and they said "all or nothing " there's no way I'd get involved.

Thats exactly how we met our current partner. She started out by dating the male half, but even though she identified as "straight" she and the female partner started having feelings for each other and its developed into a love which is shared by all of us now.
 
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