Husband on a date

Astirarose

New member
His second one with the new girl, or he will be anyhow.

He had to work a 12 hour shift today and is headed over to her house right after.
I'm trying to occupy myself.

I feel calmer then I have in the past, but I know he is still at work atm.

We all met up last week, GF and her husband with myself and my husband for dinner.

It was fun, she and I get along really well. We are a lot alike it seems.

Well lets see how the night goes, I'm hoping I've made some progress in the twingy stages. I know they wont be gone, but hoping I can deal with them more productively this time around.
 
How excellent for you! I hope it goes well tonight. Any plans? Treats?

Also, any plans for just you and him later? I was surprised to discover when I was first going through that, even though I was ok at the time, I needed a little pampering and reconnect time within a few days after, just the two of us and no talk of others. Having something to look forward to kept me from feeling like I was missing out.
 
I'm doing fine so far. A little hiccup because he didnt let me know when he got there (we always let each other know when we arrive) and an hour had passed, but thats all.

Other then that Ive been fine. Just doing housework actually to pass the time.

He will likely be very tired when he gets home, so he will probably go straight to bed. He was up at 4 am today and worked 12 hours. We have part of the day together tomorrow, but I have a date scheduled tomorrow night.

Hoping this one has some hope of a possible connect?

Been on a few so far, and talked with several on okcupid, but nothing of interest yet (beyond a first date).

I am however seriously debating running to the corner store for wine. That would be a nice treat :)

But we do have plans Thursday night together as well (Husband and I) so that should be fun.
 
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If you need company after an hour or so onwards, I'll be around and we can chat. Leaving for the gym right now. Shouldn't take more than an hour. You have my email. I can be quite entertaining. Just ping/add me if you're in the mood, and when I'm back, I'll join you. As long as it takes. :)
 
Aw Thanks.. I think Ill be fine, and he isnt having a late night since he was working all day. But I definitly appreciate that offer :)
 
Everything went well, and husband and I enjoyed the rest of the evening together. He did not go to sleep right away ;)

Date night for me tonight... a second date so we will see how it goes :)
 
Hi Astirarose,

It sounds like you and your husband are making progress toward a polyamory that you both can live with. This is hard to do, so I send you my kudos.

Keep us posted; we'll keep posting advice that is up-to-date.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
So??? How did Date night go with your man?

It didn't go well. I wasnt feeling it and had him bring me home after a couple hours.

And then he proceeded to bombard me with texts for another date.

Ive had 2 guys get this way now, and its kind of frustrating. No chill.

I don't know how you girls manage to filter through and decide who to go out with and who not to?

I cant tell from just a picture how I will feel in person with someone. He can be totally attractive, but when I meet them in person their "presence" the way they carry themselves is so different.

But I really dont want to just start stringing first dates to figure this out.

A dude can be completely average looking, but their presence brings them up several notches in attractiveness.

What is your process generally, to get a better feel beforehand?

I never really dated before (one relationship to the next) and I was never "looking" So honestly this OKCupid thing is very foreign to me.

Wish there were better and bigger meetups groups.
 
What is your process generally, to get a better feel beforehand?

I've been dating for 5 years now, here's my "system." I've done pretty well with it, have found everything from fuckbuddies to serious relationships using online dating. I end up rejecting or "friend-zoning" most of the people I talk to and even two-thirds of the ones you get around to meeting face-to-face.

First of all, I state right in my profile that I'll want to talk before meeting, get to know someone before sex. I immediately stop engaging with anyone who clearly would rather skip these vital steps.

Before I agree to meet, I ask lots of questions, but also offer lots of general info about myself--nothing TMI but my likes dislikes general life history and fun facts. Their responses gives me more info about them. After a good deal of messaging, (I never give my phone number until meeting in person) I ask to stalk them via social media and let them do the same for me, learning what I can about someone from their Facebook or Twitter feed. If we have mutual friends, I might even ask after them--I'm shameless, but hey, Love is a Battlefield.

After a few days of messaging, or sometimes a few weeks (with my current girlfriend several months!) if I feel like we might be a match even on a "just friends" level, I ask or agree to meet.

I have a particular place I suggest we meet. It's outside, casually romantic, We can share wine and oysters or beer and nachos, depending on the person's tastes, and it's rather out-of-the way so I'm not likely to run into tons of people I know but there's lots of people around for safety's sake.

I tell them at the end of the date or via message the next day where I stand. If there's sexual chemistry on my end, I make that clear. If not, but I like their personality, I'll ask if we can be friends. If there's nothing there, I tell them and wish them luck in their search.

My best friend, on the other hand, just messages a little then meets right away. She's very outgoing, and more open to casual flings than I am, so this seems to work for her.

In the past few months, I've had three dates. Two of them got friend-zoned due to lack of chemistry, the one I met last night I plan to see again ;)

Hope that helps, good luck!
 
Thanks for the advice Love Bunny. I am chatting with one guy who has piqued my interest. I hadn't talked to him more then a few random texts for a while, but he is starting to open up and chat more, and refreshingly normal chat.

We will see where this one leads..
 
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