LittleRedHen
New member
Hey there,
So I thought I'd come to this forum for some support, advice, and general knowledge since I've found myself in an open relationship.
I've been dating a wonderful man for almost a year now. I have a history of bad relationships and he is the first of many wonderful new things (like love and support) including two big ones: being open and bdsm. The bdsm? Feels like a relief. I had no idea it was exactly what I needed and my life has changed for the better.
The openness? That's another story. He is open, but has expressed that he's uncomfortable with me being open as well. He says he wouldn't like it, plus it's different with dominant and submissives.
For someone that is new to the very notion of open and poly relationships this has been really hard on me. He shows me, tells me, and goes out of his way to make me feel good and loved. But I still get this sad empty feeling. We will spend weeks together and then the one or two nights we are apart he will go be with someone else. Those people don't know about me usually, and while in the last few months of dating he's hardly seen anyone, he's made it very clear that it's still an option and he needs his own time/space/etc. He says he doesn't want a relationship necessarily, just fresh new exciting sex with someone for a while. But that yes that involves a few drinks or dates and texts and whatnot.
It just doesn't sit well with me. Especially since he is so loving and thoughtful and generous in every other way.
Is that an open relationship? Am I an idiot being played here? Am I maybe not a true submissive?
I apologize in advance if this is posted in the wrong place or if I've broken any rules. I'm also very open to receiving any and all resources and suggestions for reading material, websites, an other opportunities to learn!
Thanks
So I thought I'd come to this forum for some support, advice, and general knowledge since I've found myself in an open relationship.
I've been dating a wonderful man for almost a year now. I have a history of bad relationships and he is the first of many wonderful new things (like love and support) including two big ones: being open and bdsm. The bdsm? Feels like a relief. I had no idea it was exactly what I needed and my life has changed for the better.
The openness? That's another story. He is open, but has expressed that he's uncomfortable with me being open as well. He says he wouldn't like it, plus it's different with dominant and submissives.
For someone that is new to the very notion of open and poly relationships this has been really hard on me. He shows me, tells me, and goes out of his way to make me feel good and loved. But I still get this sad empty feeling. We will spend weeks together and then the one or two nights we are apart he will go be with someone else. Those people don't know about me usually, and while in the last few months of dating he's hardly seen anyone, he's made it very clear that it's still an option and he needs his own time/space/etc. He says he doesn't want a relationship necessarily, just fresh new exciting sex with someone for a while. But that yes that involves a few drinks or dates and texts and whatnot.
It just doesn't sit well with me. Especially since he is so loving and thoughtful and generous in every other way.
Is that an open relationship? Am I an idiot being played here? Am I maybe not a true submissive?
I apologize in advance if this is posted in the wrong place or if I've broken any rules. I'm also very open to receiving any and all resources and suggestions for reading material, websites, an other opportunities to learn!
Thanks