Sexy ;) MF couple from BC

Wow, you read WAY too much into that. She could have PM'd me to avoid embarrassment.

I read it as a sarcastic and cutting remark meant to cut her down.

Remember everyone, comments in peoples threads about creepy looks or other possible harmful advice should ALWAYS be private messaged. We should all practice that in future threads. IMHO :cool:


No, this is an open forum, a discussion board, and not a place to make sarcastic ad hominem comments and expect people to just roll with it. And who is to say what is harmful and what is welcome advice? We all just speak from our own hearts and experiences, in hopefully polite ways.

What I get from your OP is that your Master and you are looking for a girl to join you based on how sexually alluring you look, and to enjoy your western Canadian weather, and help you take care of your kids, smoke the weed, and enjoy the ministrations of your Dom (who is so good at what he does). I hope you find the woman of your dreams.
 
My sincerest apologies. I didn't realise how the forum operates around here... until now. I will post pictures that portray more 'substance' in the near future.

And to clarify:

BD: Yes
SM: No
Smoke lots of weed: Yes
Are we good, social, and fun people: Yes (just not so much in this thread)
Looking for a babysitter: Fuck no
Looking for a committed closed poly triad and best friend: Yes

Getting annoyed at the witch-hunt: Yes
About to converse with the moderators: Maybe?

Want to know more about us? Be nice and I'll tell you.

Can we let me be now? :cool:

PS. The 'Subspace' song linked earlier was my husband's idea, not mine. He's a little intense and passionate, all good stuff though :)
 
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Hope this helps - we are far more than about sex.

Have uploaded several more pictures now.

These should help satisfy those who were not satisfied :)
I will be taking more soon of us (him & I together) and of Victoria (the City), and others.

ps. it really IS paradise here, especially for 420 lovers ;)
 
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hehe I know... I've visited Potland, I mean, Portland, Oregon.
 
Everyone keep in mind the forum guidelines and the dinner party analogy.
Praise in public, chide in private of specific individuals is sound advice in general.

Also, the OP has made a request to be given some room, and the anti-UH cadre has been warned previously about jumping on new members in the intro section.

So everyone take a breather, and find a way to play nice.
 
Anti-UH cadre? To be honest I didn't realize my husband and I were part of this trendy crowd until we started looking around and doing our research. We aren't looking for a babysitter or a "fuck" buddy. My husband and I have experienced so much grief and loss of loved ones. We just want someone to add to our family. My husband has no attraction to other men however I myself am an open bisexual and would love to bring a girlfriend into our family. Not because it's trendy to screw around but because we want more love to have and to share.

For example my husband's brother, sister and mother have passed. His father is not long for this world. My own family is dying or scattered across the country. We want to build a love and a family with someone we can both love and that will love us in return. Someone to help fill the gaps in our lives and in our hearts... so are we doing something wrong because this situation just happens to also be "the trendy thing to do" at the moment. Is this the way this situation has always been? Or is our timing just absolute crap?

Kind constructive opinions only please :)
 
Hi biladyjess,

The idea of adding a woman to an M/F couple (MF+F) is very popular, and is the root of the "unicorn hunting" schema. Thence, you are likely to be seen as unicorn hunters, even if the visual doesn't exactly fit your particular situation. More info on that: Unicorns-R-Us

I think that the most important way to avoid this stereotype is to treat your female third as an equal, and to be flexible. For instance, what if your third has a boyfriend, or kids, or both? You should be willing to work around that, for her sake as well as your own.

Your position is a hard one to be in. I am sympathetic.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
It's not that it's trendy to have FMF relationships. In fact, there are actually very few successful triads out there. It's just a common male fantasy, so the media promotes it as the face of polyamory to get views and sell ad revenue.

There is no guarantee that this hypothetical woman will "come into your family" and somehow magically love both you and your husband equally. The chances of finding that are slim to none. It's a nice fantasy. That's it.

We see it here again and again. A unicorn joins a couple only to only love one of them, and just kinda like the other one. So, she only wants sex with one of you. She doesnt get a huge thrill out of the other partner. Then the one she doesn't choose gets all jealous and sulky and suddenly the poor unicorn is out on her ass.


The best triads are those that just happen organically. YOU get a gf, with no pressure on her to love or fuck your husband, and no pressure to move in right away. You date, you see how it goes. Maybe she becomes friends with hubby, maybe they are only polite acquaintances. Maybe she moves in, maybe she continues to have her own place and keep her independence.

Above all, she shouldnt move in until things are well established. Either as a V (much more likely) or a triad. Then if things go south, she isn't left homeless. And if she does move in, she should preferably have her own room in the house, and keep most of her finances separate. So if things go south, there's no funny business. Especially if she had kids of her own, either from a previous r'ship, or from your husband. She can't marry him or you, so she has no legal protections.

Read this:

So Someone Called You a Unicorn Hunter

http://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html
 
Oh now we aren't of the "entitled" variety. We realize finding a "unicorn" isn't going to just happen overnight. Like any relationship there will be stages and phases. My husband and I have discussed your ide of just having me try to date other women and that may yet be how we go about this, however we have also discussed the possible hurdles of doing so and I don't know how happy I would be with some of them. It would be an awful place for me to fall in love with a woman just to find out she wants me to sleep with her and her boyfriend, which is not an option for me. We don't want a woman to control. If she wants kids she can have kids. We're more than happy to draw up legal contracts to protect her parental rights beyond what the law does. I would never want to deny someone the gift of parenthood nor would I ever act without the best interests of the children both mine and hers. The well being of children has always been high on my priority list as my own childhood was brutally stolen from me.

This isn't something we are doing for "his" or "my" benefit. This isn't something we are doing to "improve" our sexual life (cause thats totally awesome already lol ;) ) This is something g we want to do because we legitimately want to bring someone else into our lives in such a way that we are all enriched. I realize some couples are not looking for something so deep however I believe that because we are we stand a better chance of finding that special someone.
 
There is no chance of you falling in love with a woman who wants you to fuck her bf, if you just find out on the first date (or prior if you use online dating), if that is an expectation. But if you don't want that for yourself, why do you (ideally) want it from your unicorn?

It's nice to have goals such as finding another lifelong mate. Personally, I feel lucky to have divorced my ex h after 30 years of partial incompatability and to have found another lover (that I now live with) soon after we separated. I don't imagine I'd be so lucky as to find another one anytime soon. I've been poly dating for 6 1/2 yrs, and only one person seemed a likely candidate, until a year had passed and I started to realized he was a Don Juan Narcissist masquerading as a good guy.

But, again, good luck.
 
I strive under impossibilities. When others say it cannot be done I find a way. I don't want a prisoner I want a gf and someday Wife. If not legally then to each other in our hearts is enough. Because I want it it will happen. I just have to keep my heart open and my mind sharp.
 
Kudos on having a positive attitude about it. :)
 
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