The Ask Amy saga continues: ""Three no longer a crowd: Polyamory hires a press agent"

Interesting. As usual in the press, it's a menage a trois. And Amy assumes the married couple is older, "invited her in," into their relationship :rolleyes: as a "guest" :confused: or an amusement, which is possible with unicorn hunters, of course.
 
Eh, at least she advocated for letting adults make their own adult decisions. Although when she says, "You need a proofreader for your little newsletter," I detect a nasty little insult in her use of the word "little."

"I'll get you, my pretty! and your little dog too!"
 
I think it reflects the banner of Polyamorous Percolations, which Alan was heavily involved with at one time. Ppercs used to have a forum too, but unfortunately that hasn't been in working order for several months. :(
 
I think it reflects the banner of Polyamorous Percolations, which Alan was heavily involved with at one time. Ppercs used to have a forum too, but unfortunately that hasn't been in working order for several months. :(
Yeah, it did remind me of the Polyamorous Percolations site, but I didn't think there was an actual association. Hmm, I thought they shut down completely, but I guess it was just their forum
 
Yeah, the forum part is shut down. It may open up again, that's kind of up to Fire God, the site's admin. It's not like Fire God to shut the site down without giving us any notice, so it is odd that this has happened and I assume it's a technical problem of some kind. But is it a solvable problem, that's the question.
 
I stopped posting on PolyPercs when I found my way here, because this forum seemed more active. (Thanks, Kevin, since a link you posted there steered me here.)

As for Ask Amy, Dear Abby, and so forth... Advice columnists are first and foremost human beings, and they don't always have a bleeping clue about anything. They're also prone to being judgmental and sometimes harsh. I remember going all Hulk-ragey at one point when Dear Abby posted a letter from an obese 20-something young woman asking how to get her mother off her back when she wears two-piece swimsuits; instead of giving helpful, maybe even compassionate, or at the very least on-topic advice, Abby said, "Have you talked to your doctor about your weight?"

Like physical appearance, relationship structure is one of those things that people feel entirely comfortable judging each other about and making those judgments loudly known. Why? Who the hell knows?

When someone writes to an advice columnist, they're opening themselves up to the judgment of the columnist and probably millions of readers. An advice columnist usually isn't an unbiased professional like, say, a therapist is supposed to be. So their own prejudices, biases, and dislikes are going to shine through in their replies.

Polyamory isn't widely understood, even, in some cases, by those who claim to practice it. (Witness how many people post things like "is it really poly if my partner and I aren't sharing a partner".) So it's understandable, though unfortunate, that an advice columnist might not have had any experience with or education about polyamory, and therefore default to either the "it's just a fancy name for cheating" idea, or the "relationships are supposed to only be two people, and nothing else will ever work" idea.
 
Hopefully, someday, that will change.
 
given how being gay is no longer nearly-synonymous with pedophilia* (I remember a time when it was common/normal/acceptable in most circles for someone to keep the kids away from the gay relatives, for fear of molestation), I think we're getting there slowly but surely with poly.

I have hope that we'll see legalized poly marriage in my lifetime. And as more and more people become more out about their poly, that will normalize it. I'd like to believe that I've made a difference by coming out to my family. I'm pretty sure they didn't even know what poly *was* before I said something to them (they live in a very rural area). And now, they know about it, and some of them even seem to accept it (or at least, don't make asshole comments while I'm around).


*I know some assholes still make that assumption, but as far as I can tell (and I could be wrong) it's far, far rarer than it used to be.
 
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